Darn Poems | Examples

Darn Sleep

Darn Sleep

Always Screwing Up Memories
I Might Want To Keep.

-Gray Squirrel

05-17-2025

Darn Autocorrect!

Today, my wife went shopping and in her glee
took her phone and sent a selfie
of her in a beautiful new dress.
She looked quite stunning, I must confess.
She asked “Does this make my butt look big?”
I picked up my beer, took a swig
and texted back “Nooo!”
But my phone went to autocorrect 
and changed my word to “Mooo!”
Please send help or I’ll end up black and blue!

Darn - Apr 17

O’ dear, I learned today you’re spoken for;
I asked the question, got the answer: “no”.
Ayayaye…but, considering the blow
wasn’t so bad, I’m glad I tried to score.

Oh dear,—(I must admit)—you know what’s more?,
you’ve snatched the beauty right out from this low
world; o’ diamond, why must you hoard it so?
All other charms have lost their glow, they bore

me now…I hadn’t grasped what beauty meant
’til I had seen your radiant strutting gait. ?
Nevertheless, I do not write this sonnet
that I should have something to bemoan it;
Rather, I’m thankful for the sort of fate
that sends me for a spiralling ascent.

Let's Darn This For What the Colour of Many Hypocrites Wear

So many people in this world
Free do not have their conscious formed properly
Twisted wisdom uses the Bible to justify acts of defiance against God 
Who am I to judge when our Precious Lord said if you love Me keep my commandments 
A sad sorry state of any nation that denies the truth 
The blind suffer poor knowledge justifying their actions in words and deeds
When we tread the needle it's transparent what is sewn

That Darn Cat

The pussycat boasted nine lives,
and nearly as many ex-wives.
As they peeled away,
“We’ve got him!” they’d say,
but Charon still sails the Maldives.

Holy Gosh Darn

How many of youse guys remember these
Well golly gee, holy cow, gosh darn, gee willikers
Way back when they were naughty phrases
Today the naughty words are maimers and killers 

How things have changed and getting uglier
Mass shootings, targeted individuals, fire starters
What's happened to the world we once knew
Civility should be deleted from each transponder

Golly gee and all that holy mackerel stuff 
Thinking of it things haven't really been much better
Since day one man has been fighting man
Sure haven't been sending each other love letters

A Darn Good Day To Me

i need a day where i don't feel low
i need a day where i can walk a trail that takes me to nature's beauty
i need a day where it is not too hot and not too cold
i need a day where everything is paid and i have no worries on my mind
i need a day where there are no aches and pains and my aging body is in a good mood
i need a day where i feel young and sprightly and said body is fully cooperating
i need a day where i can only smile and give a frown the almighty finger
i need a day where people do not get on my nerves and nobody asks me for anything
i need a day where the phone does not ring and the only notifications are the birds singing to me like angelic arrows
i need a day like today where God Is Good like EveryDay and she loves me unconditionally in addition
THAT IS A DARN GOOD DAY TO ME!

Ditch the Darn Queen

The King’s headaches have grown
     since he's ascended the throne

   And wearing that Crown
     has turned his smile to a frown

   Marrying the Queen’s
     led to scenes unforeseen

   With his new relatives
     who make it hell just to live

   In that beautiful palace
     So, wishing no malice

   If I were the King
     I’d ditch the darn Queen

   Move 'cross the pond from the palace
     ~ Love, ‘Debbie does Dallas’

Darn It, Sam: Bawdy

New lovers were overheard in their tryst,
"Ow, ow!" Beth cried when once again Sam missed.
He said from above,
"So sorry, my love.
Would you offer me a hand to assist?"


February 28, 2022
A New Bawdy or Humous Limerick Contest
Tania Kitchin: Sponsor

Darn It- Rhymed Senryu

Sudden knock on my door.
          Eggs splashed on the floor,
          Golden Lake, galore!


    
             Rhymed Senryu
                12/2/2020
                 3:15 pm

That Darn Virus

We have a dear old friend, name of Cyrus
Went to China and got that darn virus
  Poor guy has been quarantined
  In a yellow submarine
Told him, "If you recover please wire us"

'i'M Too Darn Old For the Cold'

I am but a man who is so cold,
with a bad cough from a cold that’s bold.
Bronchitis cold sickness,
from this cold I’m listless-
Guess for nude cold skiing, I’m too old!


9-9-6-6-9 syllable count
howmanysyllables.com
Same Word Winter Limerick Poetry Contest
Charles Messina
January 11, 2019

It's So Darn Hot

A shimmering haze distorts the sky,
sending temperatures soaring high.
And the streets are ripe with smelly folk,
while thick layers of smog smother and choke.

Feeling hotter than ever before,
dribbles of sweat escape every pore.
And people look exhausted on side-walks,
much like zombies, no one laughs or talks.

Sweat soaks right through your clothes in seconds
while every open hydrant beckons.
And eyes squinting in glaring sunlight,
you curse the day, and await the night.

Dogs are panting, their tongues hanging out,
lying down, not scurrying about.
And tar on the road melts to your shoes,
giving you a bad case of the blues.

Kids get cranky as the day winds down,
the soil's parched, and the green grass, dried brown.
And feeling fatigued, with nerves stretched taut,
no one can sleep; cause it's so darn hot!


(Rhyme)


8/25/2017

Darn Right

7/5/17


You're darn right
Years in the dark and light
Lifeforms that did or didn't survive a shark bite
Daily people getting stabbed in the back with a dull or sharp knife
Either putting in the effort or not, when it comes to making the yard nice
Many only able to afford a small not a large slice
Inside barns often mice
Meanwhile far too many want to harm life

Vehicles taking a sharp left and hard right

From far away with or without starlight
Whether or not it is a dark night
You can still see all the car lights

Always wise to play one's cards right
Even if you had to restart twice

Fires dying out or sparking to life
It either was or wasn't marked right

Those Darn Spontaneous Happenings

Those darn spontaneous happenings
They sure can drive you nuts
Make you scratch your head
Leave you wondering what is up

                Monday 9:00am
 Sitting on a park bench reading
The morning news
Then over flies a bird and splat!
 It poops on your new shoes

                Wednesday 10:35am
As you Peruse all of your emails
 At the local Wi-Fi café
You sneeze and fart, everyone looks
And you wish you could fade away

Those darn spontaneous happenings 
They sure can drive you nuts
Make you scratch your head
Leave you wondering what is up 

                 Saturday 8:00am
 While on your Morning walk 
 A delivery truck goes by
It's tire blows out you jump skyhigh
You let go a shout your Dupa slams shut
And your heart starts to pound

 Yes those darn spontaneous happenings
Sure can drive you nuts
Make you scratch your head
Leave you wondering what is up 
                   ????

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