Darn kids arrive and turn lives upside down,
Doted and loved and they don’t have a clue,
That parents haven’t a way around it -
But unconditionally, through and through.
For starters we’re awake from sleepless nights,
Then toddlers’ tantrums test our calm and cool.
And folks, please note, we’re stripped of spanking rights
As soon as darn kids start going to school.
Darn kids grow up and out of childhood bliss,
Some move away or in, if basement’s spare.
Now sleepless nights are somehow dearly missed,
It’s daily worries parents have to bear.
Based on facts darn kids don’t make exceptions,
‘Who is loved more’ stems from misconceptions.
None is perfect thus no one is to blame -
We’re hardwired to love them all the same.
There is plenty of times to stay in my lane
To try and beat my own PR on the same course
However now is not the time to rest on my laurels
Not time to simply add edifice to what I’ve mastered
Growth requires pruning and sometimes replanting
Cutting deeper into the halls of unknown
My mind and body have healed with a gap
A gap on a tree for a new branch to bloom
A season to grow so I can later on sow
Muscles do not grow unless the routine is thrown
My soul pines to be put to a new test
The lord gave us stem cells for a reason
Darn Sleep
Always Screwing Up Memories
I Might Want To Keep.
-Gray Squirrel
05-17-2025
Today, my wife went shopping and in her glee
took her phone and sent a selfie
of her in a beautiful new dress.
She looked quite stunning, I must confess.
She asked “Does this make my butt look big?”
I picked up my beer, took a swig
and texted back “Nooo!”
But my phone went to autocorrect
and changed my word to “Mooo!”
Please send help or I’ll end up black and blue!
O’ dear, I learned today you’re spoken for;
I asked the question, got the answer: “no”.
Ayayaye…but, considering the blow
wasn’t so bad, I’m glad I tried to score.
Oh dear,—(I must admit)—you know what’s more?,
you’ve snatched the beauty right out from this low
world; o’ diamond, why must you hoard it so?
All other charms have lost their glow, they bore
me now…I hadn’t grasped what beauty meant
’til I had seen your radiant strutting gait. ?
Nevertheless, I do not write this sonnet
that I should have something to bemoan it;
Rather, I’m thankful for the sort of fate
that sends me for a spiralling ascent.
So many people in this world
Free do not have their conscious formed properly
Twisted wisdom uses the Bible to justify acts of defiance against God
Who am I to judge when our Precious Lord said if you love Me keep my commandments
A sad sorry state of any nation that denies the truth
The blind suffer poor knowledge justifying their actions in words and deeds
When we tread the needle it's transparent what is sewn
The pussycat boasted nine lives,
and nearly as many ex-wives.
As they peeled away,
“We’ve got him!” they’d say,
but Charon still sails the Maldives.
How many of youse guys remember these
Well golly gee, holy cow, gosh darn, gee willikers
Way back when they were naughty phrases
Today the naughty words are maimers and killers
How things have changed and getting uglier
Mass shootings, targeted individuals, fire starters
What's happened to the world we once knew
Civility should be deleted from each transponder
Golly gee and all that holy mackerel stuff
Thinking of it things haven't really been much better
Since day one man has been fighting man
Sure haven't been sending each other love letters
i need a day where i don't feel low
i need a day where i can walk a trail that takes me to nature's beauty
i need a day where it is not too hot and not too cold
i need a day where everything is paid and i have no worries on my mind
i need a day where there are no aches and pains and my aging body is in a good mood
i need a day where i feel young and sprightly and said body is fully cooperating
i need a day where i can only smile and give a frown the almighty finger
i need a day where people do not get on my nerves and nobody asks me for anything
i need a day where the phone does not ring and the only notifications are the birds singing to me like angelic arrows
i need a day like today where God Is Good like EveryDay and she loves me unconditionally in addition
THAT IS A DARN GOOD DAY TO ME!
The King’s headaches have grown
since he's ascended the throne
And wearing that Crown
has turned his smile to a frown
Marrying the Queen’s
led to scenes unforeseen
With his new relatives
who make it hell just to live
In that beautiful palace
So, wishing no malice
If I were the King
I’d ditch the darn Queen
Move 'cross the pond from the palace
~ Love, ‘Debbie does Dallas’
New lovers were overheard in their tryst,
"Ow, ow!" Beth cried when once again Sam missed.
He said from above,
"So sorry, my love.
Would you offer me a hand to assist?"
February 28, 2022
A New Bawdy or Humous Limerick Contest
Tania Kitchin: Sponsor
Sudden knock on my door.
Eggs splashed on the floor,
Golden Lake, galore!
Rhymed Senryu
12/2/2020
3:15 pm
We have a dear old friend, name of Cyrus
Went to China and got that darn virus
Poor guy has been quarantined
In a yellow submarine
Told him, "If you recover please wire us"
I am but a man who is so cold,
with a bad cough from a cold that’s bold.
Bronchitis cold sickness,
from this cold I’m listless-
Guess for nude cold skiing, I’m too old!
9-9-6-6-9 syllable count
howmanysyllables.com
Same Word Winter Limerick Poetry Contest
Charles Messina
January 11, 2019
A shimmering haze distorts the sky,
sending temperatures soaring high.
And the streets are ripe with smelly folk,
while thick layers of smog smother and choke.
Feeling hotter than ever before,
dribbles of sweat escape every pore.
And people look exhausted on side-walks,
much like zombies, no one laughs or talks.
Sweat soaks right through your clothes in seconds
while every open hydrant beckons.
And eyes squinting in glaring sunlight,
you curse the day, and await the night.
Dogs are panting, their tongues hanging out,
lying down, not scurrying about.
And tar on the road melts to your shoes,
giving you a bad case of the blues.
Kids get cranky as the day winds down,
the soil's parched, and the green grass, dried brown.
And feeling fatigued, with nerves stretched taut,
no one can sleep; cause it's so darn hot!
(Rhyme)
8/25/2017
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