Best Darn Poems

Son of a gun we were still young;
only 15 years gone by.
You were the first my kissing bubble to burst, 
and for you, I think so was I.
I wanted to start putting other parts 
of our bodies in the field of play;
But you stopped it...

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7/5/17


You're darn right
Years in the dark and light
Lifeforms that did or didn't survive a shark bite
Daily people getting stabbed in the back with a dull or sharp knife
Either putting in the effort or not, when it comes to making the yard nice
Many only able to...

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I 
wonder. . . 
when I see
my lovely cats,
one licking at the
other’s scruff, as if she
were engrossed in an act of
singular devotion. . . how it
is that I, who feed them, cannot get 
a one of them to give a darn for me!*

*Note: I was...

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G;Geico commercials   B;(you knew this was coming); Billy Mays commercials U; 
hour long imfomercials
G;Big, juicy homemade hamburgers  B;White Castle belly burners
G; Best fast food place;by far;All American, Massapequa N.Y. (check it on web- 
always, and rightfully rated  number one  B-white...

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The wife had a problem with me,
h o t  m e s s  to the hundredth degree,
thinks she can do better,
I’ll go out and let her!
Not my fault I cleared the pantry!

I ended up on the darn couch,
pinched nerve in my back from...

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As I walked a ' black cat crossed my path 
I said shoo, I said scat
He stared, looking me in the eye
As if to ask me why.

It was as if to say "did the cat get your tongue'
I think he did, for his stare was...

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(25/12/2011)

Darn you, Mister!
You drag my heart to yours
Chain my heart and throw the key
Force me to be your shadow

Darn you, Mister!
You sit me on your deepest heart’s layer
And hug me even harder
As if I will leave you suffer

Darn you, Mister!
Don’t you know?
Unnecessary to beg me
To...

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grasses waft april fragrance
as lady sips melon day 
bold ninja insects invade
...repellant she squirts

flying needles wage buzzed attack
rams garden, zooming high speed
darn choppers of mosquitoes...
prick Nancy's behind!


Make Me Laugh, New Contest...

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Mad As A Hornet - Gosh Darn It!

So you're angry because I burned the toast?
Don't you stand there and keep screaming at me.
That's what really matters to you most?
I'm gonna explode on the count of three.

If you'd help get the kids ready for school
I'd have...

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I went along hunting, feeling pretty loose,
I heard a shot , saw my friend yep, he hit a goose.
I didn't see to where it fell or where it came to rest,
Until I heard this loud thunk , something hit my chest.

I didn't know what happened...

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Years ago, when socks had holes,
A housewife would start sewing.
She would try to nip that rip
Before it started growing.

Darning was a nifty skill
Among her many duties.
She’d mend all the clothes, from coats
To tiny baby booties.

Folks today don’t have the time
Or skill or inclination
To make repairs...

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When I was a child during the winter, I hated the sun because it melted the snow.
And when the snow was melted by the sun, school was where I had to go.
As a child, when it snowed, school was closed and it was sure to...

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A shimmering haze distorts the sky,
sending temperatures soaring high.
And the streets are ripe with smelly folk,
while thick layers of smog smother and choke.

Feeling hotter than ever before,
dribbles of sweat escape every pore.
And people look exhausted on side-walks,
much like zombies, no one laughs or talks.

Sweat soaks...

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Open mind
Insert thought
Grab a pen
Let's see what you've got!

Hope, dreams
Destruction, despair
Find me some paper
My computer needs repair!...

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My own world rocked,
My heart so rattled,,
My brain so shocked,
My ego so embattled

I left my wife,
When her heart was exposed
By her unfaithful ways,
The end of my married days...

Back to my parents home...
Within six weeks
My dear mother, she seeks
To leave this world of pain,

My father and...

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