Long Darn Poems
Long Darn Poems. Below are the most popular long Darn by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Darn poems by poem length and keyword.
Every other week during summer, or fall ...
there's a loud noise rattling my huge window
facing the shady street
where no kids are seen.
.
Old fashioned grass cutters like the one I had made a minimal noise,
I don't have to visualize it, or see it to describe its actual color...
days ago I saw one with a dangling front the front bumper,
and the small, miserable guy was trying to snap back in its place.
I came outside and yelled, " Fix the darn machine and let me sleep! "
and giving him a second nasty look running my mouth as a truck driver,
" Sir, " he replied, " I am trying to fix it and finish the job and leave!"
" Do it quickly and let me get some more sleep! " that was my answer.
And just in case you wonder
what its color was .....you are
in for a shocking surprise, it was much dirtier
than an abandoned car
with a finish similar to a chocolate's eclair!
Old fellow, so mellow;
Heads spinning
Don’t remember
This September (what)
Got an appointment
His divorcement been approved
He’s an old white haired dude!!!
some say he’s from I- O-WAY
Just across Ne- Brass- Ka by OmaHA
Got a old Plymouth 1962 Valiant
License plated: I O wa State;
Dressin overalls his ID says Paul stalls
But the pictures don’t match
My Grandma says he’s quite a catch
Name on the driver’s license says Lenard Sparks
Will you look at that hat what a sight?
And them there overalls are too darn tight…
But he doesn’t remember his real name
At 84 he just meanders;
Dementia, what ya say
What cha takin bout hey
The white haired man
With the turnt up mouth
Never been a winner
Heart beat flutters in a tizzy
Folks on the block just calls him DIZZY
some say he’s from I- O-WAY
Just across Ne- Brass- Ka by OmaHA
Got a old Plymouth 1962 Valiant
License plated: I O wa State;
Dressin overalls his ID says Paul stalls
But the pictures don’t match
My Grandma says he’s quite a catch
Name on the driver’s license says Lenard Sparks
Will you look at that hat what a sight?
And them there overalls are too darn tight…
Never been a winner, since the beginnings beginner
Old fellow, so mellow heads spinning doesn’t remember
Heart beat flutters in a tizzy
Folks on the block just calls him DIZZY
8/21/19
Written words James Edward Lee Sr.2019©
"Taking away my cell phone would be as painful as being neutered."
~ by poet
Twenty years ago, no one would have predicted
that to cell phones, the world would become addicted.
We text instead of calling, though we have the choice.
I barely remember the sound of my child's voice!
Often, I forget where I've left my darn phone.
Without a text notification, I feel very much alone.
It's part of my anatomy that I should have neutered,
a simple surgical procedure that should be tutored.
Remove it from my hand with a scapel or a knife.
Can I survive without it? It's instrumental to my life!
Cutting it off would be an act of painful castration.
Maybe a lobotomy instead of neutering amputation?
I won't promise that if it's done, it would be a cure.
If it's no longer attached to me, how will I endure
not being able to keep in touch with my best friend,
and how long does it take for neutered scars to mend?
We were once a pair of flying, floating, diving doves
Warming on wintry days under weathered wooden eaves
We swayed and swirled with ecstatic, electric pleasure.
In synchronized steps to the rising and lilting measure,
We meandered down meadows, gathering magnolia flowers
We roamed and rambled, resting under roomy bowers
We watched life’s swirling and twirling ebb and flow
We waited eager to grab life’s evanescent, ethereal glow
We never knew arrows sting or sorrow’s depth
Each merry morn, for us, was love’s lovely rebirth
We walked close to paths celestial and supernal
And lived and dallied in thoughts of love eternal
But how soon I lost the rhyme n’ rhythm of life
Dropped into a weary world with worries rife
Became a bent, broken reed far beyond repair
With no songs sung to be tuned or played ever
I had no clue why you had so hastily and stealthily left me
I found myself drifting and drowning in a dreary sea
I have been under despondent delusion and deep despair
Thought that our love was cracked and wrecked beyond all repair
Until you let me know what had transpired behind the scene
And told, you still love me and look longingly to make me your queen
To make everything a sweet surprise for me and for everyone,
You went to a far forlorn land for a living, but had none
On false charges, got detained and delayed in a refugee camp
Where you had access to none, was taunted and treated like a tramp
Now that you have a decent job and can stand on your feet
You would come to take me as your wife and would soon retreat
Now I count my days and weave dreams on dreams
Of the time you will come to darn the torn and tattered seams
When you proudly proclaim once more in my attentive ear
You are my devout darling, my all time legitimate lover
Each wayside flower brings to me your long lost, lovelorn face
The wind swayed lilacs and lilies reflect your gorgeous grace
On sordid silent nights, as the odor of your body and hair
Comes winging and wafting, for a while, I feel you are near
March.19.2022
~ Placed First~
My Lost and Found Love Poetry Contest
Sponsor- JCB Brul
Resubmitted for Alliteration- Old or New Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Joseph May
Let’s Eat Something New This Christmas
(Parody of Have a Holly Jolly Christmas)
I can make some spicy tacos
better than the ones down south.
Please though know to eat them slow
or they may burn your mouth.
Try my sauciest lasagna
better than a Christmas ham.
Cheese galore – I like that more
than even roasted lamb.
Some get hung up on foods
so traditional.
My foods you cannot call
repetitional.
For dessert, there’s tiramisu.
I’m so sick of pumpkin pie.
Cookies crumble
so I grumble: why not new foods to try?
Christmas Balls,
(Parody of Jingle Bells)
Christmas balls, Christmas balls on my Christmas tree.
I’ve got a cat that’s such a rat beneath the tree he’ll pee -ee.
Christmas balls, Christmas balls, flying through the air.
When both cats get hold of them, they scatter everywhere.
One night I took a pause because I’d heard a crash.
Hoped it might be Claus bringing me some cash.
I saw my big dog’s face. She looked up guiltily.
To those darn cats she’d given chase destroying our tree! Oh!
Repeat refrain:
Christmas balls, Christmas balls on my Christmas tree.
I’ve got a cat that’s such a rat beneath the tree he’ll pee -ee.
Christmas balls, Christmas balls, flying through the air.
When both cats get hold of them, they scatter everywhere.
Two oldies:
I Heard Mother (to tune of "I Saw Mother Kissing Santa Clause")
I heard Mother scolding Santa's elf
As I prowled the house on Christmas Eve.
He'd hid in St. Nick's sleigh And then sneaked out to play
After having waited for his boss to fly away.
Mother caught him gobbling all our snacks
After he tore open every gift.
Oh, when she glared down at his face,
He went scrambling from our place
Screaming, "Santa, stop the sleigh-
I need a lift!"
New Body
Parody of the Xmas Song: White Christmas
I'm dreaming of a new body
with every chocolate I unwrap.
But I can't stop eating, I can't stop cheating.
There's just too many Christmas snacks.
My nightmare is a pot belly -with every Christmas treat I take.
But I can't stop feasting, my size increasing;
when I stand on the scales they'll break.
Yes, I'm dreaming of a trim waistline,
so take that Chex mix from my face.
May my buns be smaller and flat,
and may all my body lose its fat!
(I no longer make Chex Mix. It’s just too tempting)
What is life?is it lying to people that are counting on you being there for them? Is it flinching their back and talking about them even if they are right there with you? Is it having someone you just met looking at you and them calling you their friend and then they up and leave you hanging? Why must life.be this darn hard and painful?
Life is hard, life is painful, life isn't always easy as pie.. but people always say, hang in there and deal with it..well sometimes I don't want to deal with being hurt all the time, when I find out I have crossed the line, again, because I wasn't taught how to obey boundaries, and to respect others, how can I be held accountable for something I never was taught.
My shell I want to shed, but yet it's a safe place to bed, for I was there for most of my life, it's all I knew for most of my young and adult life. Shall I come out to the world and see if I get hurt or stay inside the shell and say oh well, the choice is hard, for either way I go, I will be ridiculed.
I see an bald eagle soaring high above, he is so free, soaring high in the clear blue sky, they are liking for a safe place to nest,maybe I will offer it my shell, because at least something that majestic meaningful, will have a safe home, because I have decided to leave this earth, for life is about being 're_birthed..
She was just so darn spiritual, was not of this world
Like a whispered mist before you, she would un-furl
Rendering you into a such a non-conscionable state
“Till you were onto her level where you could relate
Captured yet strange not once held with any chains
Once in your thoughts your attention she entertains
Loosening emotions, that before were never notions
Releasing within you, so, heart rendering explosions
To a lesser man, she would be considered as brazen
But to her, within, she holds no such, discrimination
The freedom she gives leaves thoughts so unbridled
One becomes brave, and to her ego feels so entitled
As she believes a mind trapped should only be freed
No need to others to bow down no need to concede
When notions within you, those yet to be conceived
Ready now to be understood knowledge is achieved
One may die trying, but till then one has never lived
A real concept of life and what it’s like to be bridged
what trouble tonight?
the spill and spoilage of tray
exposing eight tiles
in a scrabble player’s game
she’d gone for coffee…and cheat?
who knocked it over?
the mischievous persian cat
that darn cat…love him
…after late dinner she’s tired
eyebrows raised and laughter roars
one barely survives
“the cat?” you ask, “or player?”
persian spills onto the floor
embarrassment of t’other
you see, she was winning game…
would they have caught it
if she had put down the eight?
gave up one letter
after scrambling the rascals
but did not give up her points
she did not win though started fast out the gate - chin jut of opponent
Hello my friend, good day to you; I see you got my note
It's time we had a face to face about that crazy goat!
He made a mess, broke in my barn; ate up my buds and cans
And when I tried to chase him out, he kicked my bloomin' fan
Now see here Mr. Farmin' Man, I know you from way back
But if you don't restrain that goat - I'll stretch his scrawny neck!
Me and that goat been fightin' long; he thinks he won this time
So I'll show him today for sure that I'm still in my prime
That goat won't get the better of me; I'll trap him with some hay
I'll lay a path straight to the barn and lead him in that way
Oh darn! He's smarter than I thought, he ate up to the door
He stopped and turned then shook his tail like he don't want no more
Aww shucks - there's got to be a way to trap that crazy goat
He's found new ways into my barn - I'll send another note
This time though Mr. Farmin' Man, I will not shout and wail
I'm goin to git the Sheriff now and throw that goat in jail!
As the telling of the tale should go ~
lonely old ladies always have a cat
but I don't consider myself an old crow
so I'll ignore the tale ~ and that's that!
My Bella was a little homeless kitty
and I'd just left my home of four years.
I was sad, angry, and filled with pity
for myself and her so I ruffled her ears.
Green eyes that look into the depths of mine
a sweet meow that wakens me each morn.
She plays catch like a dog, and that's fine
until she wants to keep playing...Oh Darn!
She warms my feet at night like he used to do,
but she never yells and walks off in a huff.
She never makes me cry or even feel blue.
Since I found her our lives are not so rough.
Shades of burnt umber, grays and soft brown,
she's watching me as I describe her fur coat.
She makes me smile when I'm feeling down.
It's no wonder upon my sweet Bella, I dote.
A jump to the window sill then into my lap,
she snuggles for want of love and attention.
It's become her favorite place to take a nap
although for me it presents a distraction.
Sashay La Femme is my French name for her
because she casually struts in a feminine way.
Upon my chest she's stroked to make her purr.
If I don't shoo her off she'll stay there all day!
Bella Lane will soon reach the age of four.
She's quite the social butterfly with everyone.
A homeless baby kitten she is no more.
Come and meet her. She's ready to have fun.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
January 20th, 2016
I Love My Pet Contest
Sponsor: Laura Loo