Cretins Poems | Examples

Darkness over the land'

Its 9'30 monday morning U K time the skies around London are the
Grey of grime.' Its like in the evening', a somber scene i
Think its taken from 'middle earths book' the fellowship of
The ring.? As by mechanical means the sky is sown.' To
Drown us in gloom, these clouds are grown.' To deny real
Life..To cause the farmers strife.' I consider only sad beings, could envisage and plan such an innings' closing
Churches and pubs.' Which don.'t need the pre-fix of hubs.'
Yet there is great capicity in humanity..' innate intelligence
That will counter insanity.' Dr evil and the devil bankers real Sickos.'  Can only be the answer.' May the evil curse of
Pathogens enter into them and cover them, may no rest be given
Ever.' to these cretins of wicked endeavours.' May they be
Soundly mocked and forsaken. May their very  presence of mind
Be taken.' May every sickness be their portion.' May they
Be a lesson of morality and cause repair.' So to the Bible
Many will hearken to avoid their own souls being darkened.'

The One That Got Away

Was Santa pushed? let the Jury decide
The Jury are gunning for Terry's hide
Terry then started to wail
Because they denied him bail 
They then charged him with violent Santacide. 

"Not guilty you cretins it wasn't me" 
Judge asked" are you pleading insanity "? 
While the Judge was distracted 
Terry moved quick and acted 
Hopped over the court railing and was free.


For now anyway


Written 30th November 2022

We Need Better Monsters, Part Ii

...Wait, what’s that you saw on the news?
They’re taking kids down to drag shows?
Teaching them sex in second grade,
when such things their minds cannot know?

Trafficking them to billionaires,
who’s appetites are quite depraved,
while claiming they’re the moral ones,
that all future paths they will blaze?

Those are the monsters we have now,
the cretins that hide in plain sight…
I think I’d prefer vampires,
that would be an easier fight.

The Man Who Should Be King

When Philip wed his princess bride
He wed her nation too 
And very soon as man and wife
They had a job to do
He the one who, proud and tall
An ever present castle wall
She the one who led the way
A hero’s lifelong duty call
But has she reigned o’er this, our land
Supported by his unseen hand 
In her own words it has been so
But she’ll stand firm and let him go
And when she must she’ll find a smile
For he’ll be with her all the while.
Seven decades wore his ring
Time enough to call him King

But should the cretins win the day 
And we do things the other way
And egotists with plastic wives
Race the race to rule our lives
Not duty, service, nor devotion
More a case of self promotion 
No B-lister ever will
Fill the shoes of good ‘King’ Phil

The Art of Negotiation

A group of ASTRAL entrepreneurs formed a PERNICIOUS ENTERPRISE.
The group would TRAVERSE the universe in search of worlds comprised 
of mealy-mouthed, self-serving, indecisive cretins. 
They believed the cretins, foul as they were, would be easily controlled. 
They also wanted to steal the VISAGE of the more attractive cretins, believing that they would be able to use this visage on one of their own to act as a SENTRY in each of the worlds that they wanted to include in their conglomerate. They believed the sentry would spy from within and DAMPEN the defenses of their adversaries during negotiations. 
They were thwarted, however, whereupon coming to Earth they 
discovered that their planted sentry had become a double agent 
and had warned the Earthlings of their plans. The Earthlings easily 
defeated the entrepreneurs’ and placed a BLEMISH on their list of 
targeted acquisitions, sealing Earth’s autonomy.

My Benefactor

Please, Mr. Civil Leader, rule my life
I don’t know how to take care of myself
Limit my offspring, choose my wife
Write me a pamphlet explaining my health

I can’t wait 
to hear from
my benefactor

I’m not too capable -- a small IQ
No manners or etiquette, an unrefined taste
I’m searching for guidance and waiting for cues
All those bills from college were clearly a waste

I been so evil to my fellow man
From the fall from Paradise to Auschwitz-Birkenau 
I rubbed his nose in it the best I can
I’m ready for rehab -- show me how

Show me the latest of your Utopias
Teach me, oh wise king, to think and feel
I sure hope there’s a place for cretins like us
Don’t make us angry or we’ll storm the Bastille!

I can’t wait
to hear from 
our benefactors

An Odd Note For Someone Named Hosen

Who are these lug nuts?
Who are these featherweights?
Who are these slum bums?
Who are these cretins?
Who are these dimwits?
Who are these bird brains?
Who are these crumb critters?
Who are these sad sacks?
Who are these dullards?
Who are these rum raisins?
Who are these nincompoops?
Who are these louts?
Who are these Jim Dandies?
Who are these meat heads?
Who are these brow beaters?
Who are these fuddy duddies?
They all live in my bones
And sing like Tom Jones.
We are the chosen.
Later, Hosen.

These Town Children Delinquent Breakers- -

In a small town of 800 the lonely town where children never sleep
Hardly can anyone imagine them ever being sweet
Some are bullies,  some rob, steal, some brake windows
Others are found juvenile delinquents breaking into condos
Adults and political authorities
Sanctions rules and laws just for the youth minorities

These hard nosed children keep breaking them curfews
Rebellious youth with incurred huge transverse views
The disorderly town children fight and riot
No wonder these rebellious cretins are sleep and so tried
Small town of 800 this lonely town where children never obey civil laws
These Town Children Delinquents breaking juveniles 



9/14/19
Sponsored by:Julia Ward

The Albatross

(After Charles Baudelaire)

Many a time, to amuse themselves, the sailors 
would trap an albatross, make it a slave. 
(These ruffians manned those old-time deep-sea whalers, 
resenting, but indented to, the waves). 

The moment that an albatross touched deck, 
the proud, ungainly prince of lonely skies 
had nowhere for his wings. This living wreck, 
so recently so regal, was despised. 

The deck hands found him funny. Some threw tack 
(as missiles, not as food). One held his beak 
and, bent astride the noble creature's back, 
forced him to smoke a pipe. The bird, too weak 

to struggle, took whatever insults came. 
His wings, his greatest glory when up there, 
now, down among the cretins, were his shame. 
He looked down at his burden in despair.

Back To the Barnyard

Back TO THE BARNYARD
I slip outside, my tail a twirl
where my whiskers test the breeze.
Such disgusting cretins so uncouth
and a few that make me sneeze. (HISS)

I slink and skirt past porcine ones 
and the cows are crashing bores.
yellow chicks, forbidden fruit
or they’ll toss me out the door. (MEOW)

I pause to sit, stare down the cock
as he struts and preens for show
I ought to bat him once for luck
but those humans… well, you know. (YAWN)

Off to work at my specialty:
feline hunter-cruel and cold.
My fur goes up and my ears go back
For this mouse will not grow old. (MMMROW)

Revenge Is Beautiful

I'd been living for years with dysfunctional peeps
It was when, and not if, I would murder the creeps
They completely deserved it, you'd better believe
And their deaths were not hardly an item to grieve.

I decided to kill them in different ways
And I proved to myself, see, that crime really pays
I was never found out, as the years rolled on by
It was luck, and rehearsing a heartbreaking cry.

I took special delight in the irony there
That so many were fooled by emotions laid bare
It became habit-forming, and made me so proud
Turning cretins to corpses, then mourning out loud.

The dumb cops were so clueless that I felt their shame
They admitted they hadn't a culprit to blame.
But this isn't a novel in which a gumshoe
Puts the pieces together in fingering you.

So I'll bid you Adieu, Adios, and all that
And return to my Soaps as I slowly grow fat
On the funds which I pilfered by changing their wills
(Yes, I sleep well at night, I just take a few pills.)

Paymaster

I took on a task that I knew I could win.
and threw myself headlong in terrible sin,
to manage a firm that abused all it’s staff,
robbing them daily and kicking their ass.

So why should I enter a this warren of sin,
with my moral standards I couldn’t fit in.
Well 400 people were drowning in there
and living a lifetime of total despair.

Some still swim in anguish and threats still abound,
but somehow I’ve managed to set higher ground.
There’s people who tell me they now enjoy work
though still overshadowed by cretins that lurk.

Roughly two thirds of the workforce today,
(the ones I support I would hasten to say),
are happier now than they’ve been there for years
while working for bosses who brought them to tears.

Though my masters don’t like it, (they’d have it their way),
they leave me alone for I bring them more pay.
They don’t give a damn if the workers all cry,
but as pay is ‘their’ master, on me they rely.

A happier workforce I see in my dreams,
they make far more profit as well so it seems.
But my purpose in life is not what brings in more pay
but to let folk have fun and enjoy every day!

Ivor G Davies

Post Trauma

in the aftermath of global awakening
rotting limbs litter the barren landscape
festering corpses piled high as far as the eye could see.
the dying earth weeps tears of crimson
as the oceans turn from sapphire to ruby with the blood of a species of sin.
no man stands to walk upon her face once more
as the blinding light of truth has obliterated the entire population of forsaken fools.
cretins whom having their lives decided for them were unable to cope
when the empire they built their world around tumbled in upon itself.

Action Game

A grotesque gamer gobbles gummies grunting gleefully at his game. 
Sounds of slaughter spewing from the surround sound speakers.
The cunning commando combats a clearing 'cross countless cretins.
Validating his victory only after violently vanquishing the virtual villains.

Stand Up and Resist Or Do Nothing At All.

You let them persist and say nothing at all.
Your futures dissolve and fortunes free fall.
Critics add nothing but choice caterwaul.
Stand up and resist or do nothing at all.

You let them persist and say nothing at all.
Cowards shout wildly in visions so small.
Few stalwart sailors and those they keelhaul.
Stand up and resist or do nothing at all.

You let them persist and say nothing at all.
Each face grows forlorn as cretins loom tall.
They lack everything save  venom and gall.
Stand up and resist or do nothing at all.

You let them persist and say nothing at all.
The vultures swoop in. The hyenas maul.
Consume your courage. Roll up in a ball.
Stand up and resist or do nothing at all.

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