Crapped Poems - Poems about Crapped

And The Cat Crept In

...
Motion-activated caught on camera
while cookies for the kids I was cooking
a collared cat crept into the kitchen
when I stepped outside and wasn't looking
his potty break was well-timed...

That's A Lot Of Crap

...Release the hounds

Call out the guard 

Some simple fool

Crapped in my yard 

Oh woe is me

Oh heavy sigh

Look at this poo

Piled a mile high 

No words will help 

No song be su...

Crapping Out A Masterpiece, Part II

......Now some may think this trend depressing,
there’s this idea our creators’ minds
understand things on some deep level
when they happen to craft the sublime.
But I, as one more wayward writer,
...

Crapping Out A Masterpiece, Part I

...It’s funny to look at creatives,
painters, writers, musicians and such,
look back across their bodies of work,
and laugh at how much of it is luck,
that things they put their whole soul into
now...

Old Man Blues

...The Old Man has never
walked on the Moon
but he has crapped his pants
and he has puked on his wife's shoes
but after drinking a bottle of whiskey
The Old Man killed it when he played the blues....

Tunnel of Mystery

...Women have an inny
Between their legs
Every year she gets a dozen eggs
Sometimes she cracks one open
Then begins the hoping
That the baby comes out right
Perhaps a child of the light
Or a crea...

A Dog Got Into My Brain

...The moon was big and lit-up,
so of course, some local dog
was barking like crazy.

I got up, it was half past the tic of time
and way deeper than any sunken face.

I was a little wasted;
I ge...

Imagining Dragons

...For fun we played a mind-game,
deciding to imagine a perfect dragon.

She put together a plump pink dragon
that blew rainbow bubbles
and smelled of minty chewing gum.

Mine was an iridescent c...

Dumped and Ignored

...Last night she called, 
I picked quickly 
"Hey darling" cold voice whispered
"Yes dear" amorously I wanted to get her aligned
"How have you been? 
"You know I've missed you" she continued with a...

A Harvest Quartet of Subtle Harmonics

...Spring's Excitement
There are rhythms of Nature that no one controls
that farms use to advantage! Time's fishermen sailed
both with tides and fair breezes offshore in their...

Tumpty Dumpty

...Trumpty dumpty built his great wall
                                                 Trumpty dumpty crapped on us all
                                                 All of his felons and all thei...

Jealousy

...She pointed her eyes at the photo 
and squelched my hopes with just four words 
"good luck with that"
I was planning on turning it into a masterpiece 
but she made it look like I had  jus...

Does Anybody Care

...Does Anybody Care?

Does anybody care, what you put in your hair?
or think, of the ink 
you mail to somewhere?

With no thought, you lick the stick, 
nor dawn on product of which you smear on....

I Wished I Had Stayed In Bed

...
Isn’t there just days you wished you had stayed in bed
I went to the shops, and a seagull crapped on my head
 
Everyone laughing saying you know it means good luck 
Not quite what I thought, as...

Jurrasic Lark

...Foreword... 
Of two commonly used pronunciations, this poem uses Dippla-doe-cous.
Originally written as a singy songy thingy to the tune of Supercalifragilistcexpealidocious.


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