Bitten

When I get fresh, my dates usually hit me. But last night I dated a woman who bit me. I didn't understand until today why people fear her. I was going to shave but I had no reflection in the mirror. Women never go out on a second date with me when they learn I'm a dud. But now instead of wanting to score with women, I want to suck their blood. I have grown fangs and I'm facing a crisis that is dire. I went out with a lady who turned me into a vampire. When I looked in the mirror, I nearly crapped my pants. I wanted to score with a woman but now I have no chance. Women in this town don't want a man like me, they want men who are studs. People had better lock their doors at night because I will be looking for blood. I don't want to live forever but a vampire usually never dies. But I'm going to expose myself to sunlight and bring about my demise.