A Man and His Word
It's very true, I said it of course,
and I suffer a hint of remorse,
as now, without question,
I have indigestion.
Why did I say, "I could eat a horse"?
Riddle
Who lives in water, not in air,
and never worries about his hair,
yet is not seen in calm repose,
and will not ever sleep or doze -
because, and while it is not fair,
he can't close his eyes, only stare?
Let's give a rousing shout
for our little friend, the trout!
Here's to Frogs and Fish
I like to give a shout,
for the frog, the toad, the trout,
who, whenever one comes by,
rids the world of another fly.
Thus, methinks himself wise
to don cooking apron
please do not ask why
trumpeting self as master chef boyardee
so move over wife and allow husband to try
his hand (using skill - let) me prepare Thai
and/or other Asian cuisine dish,
cuz when free to potschke
(To fuss or "mess around"
inefficiently and inexpertly), I haint shy
to blend (indiscriminately) ingredients
ofttimes yours truly barley able to ply
boiling water since significant other
does not give this garden variety
and generic, gimlet eyed
gourmandizing guilt free
Earth friendly gumption goaded guy.
Every so often yours truly
gets so hungry, he could eat a horse
(yours truly jest kidding hoof course)
truth be told, I only eat one meal per day
all day from son up to son down, me a force
tubby reckoned with,
who if he gives way to vice
event chew wooly experiences remorse.
Hum glad to share mine reasonably rhyming hook
twenty six letters linkedin amidst
various combinations, formations, permutations,...
allows, enables, and provides a look
into the mindscape of Matthew Scott Harris
doth show himself with steely dangling
nonsense with sense and sensibility he forsook.
There once was a big alligator
It got out of an elevator
A very loud yell
The voice rang a bell
His mate was on the travelator
His mate was a communicator
And said, ‘I said I’d see you later
I’m hungry of course
I could eat a horse
Straight out of a refrigerator
I’ll settle for a baked potater
With minced beef and cheese from a grater
And what could be finer
I spot me a diner
I hope for a ’gator they cater’
That hungry pair of alligators
Found all the staff were reptile haters
No meat on the menu
At this veggie venue
And that’s why they ate all the waiters
Just had brekkie, 10:00 am, hungry as hell
Could eat a horse, well not literally, maybe a gazelle
Still losing pounds
Downward bound
Soon be a skinny-ma-link, a pathetic shell
Just had brekkie and I'm hungry as hell
Could eat a horse, well maybe a gazelle
Still losing pounds
Downward bound
Soon a skinny-ma-link, a pathetic shell
Teens are people who get hungry again before
The dishes are washed, they're looking for more
Most recall I'll bet
Some the same yet
Not me, at least an hour till I could eat a horse
Since beginning my weight loss routine
My joy for eating's increased by umpteen
Could eat a horse
But refrain of course
Trust me, I'm like a damn eating machine
Just had brekkie, 10:00 am and hungry as hell
Could eat a horse, well not literally, maybe a gazelle
Still losing pounds
Downward bound
Soon be a skinny-ma-link, a pathetic shell
Horsemeat Scandal in Europe
By Elton Camp
“Beef” is a word that’s loosely applied
Although to most, cow meat is implied
It’s off to the slaughterhouse with old Mag
It seems it’s been the same with the old nag
Let’s hope you have a stomach that’s strong
It’s been shown they’ve done this right along
But, the facts I’m forced to admit, of course
There’s no special hazard in eating a horse
A person’s food choice is a cultural thing
Chinese eat dogs, to the mind does spring
In other places, people will eat a rat
To me, plenty is wrong with that
If I’ve ever eaten horse, I didn’t know it
Otherwise, I likely would up throw it
Nor would I choose a taste of a cat,
But I’d greatly prefer it to eating rat
“So hungry I could eat a horse,” we say
But, in Europe, many have done that way
Should we check beef sold in the USA?
I hope it says “Moo” and not “Neigh”
It’s true that veganism has its benefit
At least eating beef, I think I’ll quit
Then there’s no problem if they say
“We tested and found horse DNA”
(sorry, Tirzah, I could not do a nice long poem on horses.
I just felt like doing some silly limericks playing off expressions
for horses. Thanks for the inspiration!)
I Hate that Horse
There’s a horse that I so hate to see,
And at night sometimes he visits me.
His attack to my thigh
Makes me think I might die.
That Charly Horse acts horribly!
Horses Have Ears, Ya Know
“I could eat a horse!” hungry bob said
To his friends as he rode his horse, Ned.
Taking it the wrong way,
Ned reared up with a “neigh!”
Bob fell off and got kicked in the head.
Pony Up
“Pony up,” said the seamstress in town
With the new bride’s hand-sewn beaded gown.
But having no dough,
The bride cast her eyes low,
Saying, “Sorry, but my pony is down.”
In Our One Horse Town
We love ostriches. Haven’t you heard?
Yes, it’s true, and I give you my word
Just one old mare lives here.
Had no foals; she is *****.
So each cowboy just rides a bird!
For Tirzah's "A Horse is a Horse of Course" contest
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