Consarned Poems - Poems about Consarned

Cowboy Hank's Scruffy Boots

...Hank lounged on the bunkhouse porch tossin' back some beers,

Watchin' the sunset and reminiscin' about his cowboyin' years.

He peered at the sun 'twixt the pointy toes of his shabby boots

Pr...

Falling Leaves

...When glancing out my window this morning I was pleased to see,

Golden leaves wafting to the ground from my mountain aspen tree.

A carpet of gold now graces the lawn on which frisky squirrels pl...

Grandpa's Fiddle

...Grandpa was a jolly fellow so talented and so wise.
He could plant a row of corn as straight as the arrow flies!
He was a very handy carpenter never once hitting his thumb, 
And he built barns "'s...

They Won'T Work and You Can'T Fire 'Em

...The rocket scientist looked in dismay as the rocket lay in a smolderin' heap!

'Twas fired t'ward Mars but was not to be - 'twas enow' to make a man weep!

As he skulked back to his office to figger ...

Taxable Income

...The hoopla of the Holiday Season has now come and gone.
Cash in the bank to pay for that spree is nigh overdrawn!
Just when I thought I was free of serious financial strain,
A packet arrived from the...

Grandpa's Fiddle

...Grandpa was a very jolly fellow, so talented and so wise.
He could plant a row of corn as straight as the arrow flies!
He was a capable carpenter, never once hitting his thumb!
He built barns "'sq...

Taxable Income

...The hoopla of the Holiday Season has now come and gone.
Cash in the bank to pay for that spree is nigh overdrawn!
Just when I thought I was free from financial strain,
A packet arrived from the IR...

An Old Man Fishing

...I watched the old man mosey to his favorite fishing spot.
Ahead of him his faithful dog capered at a lively trot.
No fancy fishing lures for him, just a simple bamboo pole,
And a can of worms as c...

January

...Time to figure consarned taxes again

     And Christmas bills come due giving me pain

          Let's delete January

               And start with February

                    January has...

Nocturnal Symphony

...I can't recall the last time I've had a good night's rest.
It ain't because I'm stressed or restless or depressed.
Nor is it the fitful snorin' of my spouse sprawlin' by my side.
It's that consarn...

Cell Phones

...I reckon I've seen about everything in my nigh four-score years.
Obnoxious teens, obnoxious elders and unpleasant Wall-Mart cashiers,
And those baggy pants with the crotch nearly reaching to the kn...

Bug Off!

...God made so many things by which we're blessed
Though there's one that "bugs" me more than the rest
I think we would all agree
Ain't a lady bug or bee
'Tis that consarned mosquito that's the pest...

Slowin' Down

...Although I'm in my autumn years I still feel full of ginger.
But I'm slowin' down - my brittle bones so as not to injure!
Alas, I can't do everything that I once would choose.
It now takes a bit m...

Applesauce!

...I wuz relaxin' on th' porch t'other day admirin' th' apples on my trees.
Th' branches began to quake, I thought it wuz jes' a passin' breeze.
Alas, 'twuz them pesky squirrels an' birds eatin' their...

Spring! That Glorious Season!

...Spring was ushered in the other day by a glorious, warmin' sun!
The robins seemed elated, but for me another cycle had begun.
Just days ago the lawn was brown, now it's turnin' green.
Alas, I must...

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