Applesauce!

I wuz relaxin' on th' porch t'other day admirin' th' apples on my trees. Th' branches began to quake, I thought it wuz jes' a passin' breeze. Alas, 'twuz them pesky squirrels an' birds eatin' their daily brunch, Gnawin' an' peckin' on my crop, layin' waste to quite a bunch! I mused, "Now hold on there, them's my apples they is munchin' on; I'd better git a ladder an' pick 'em before they is all gone!" Didn't look like that big uv a job, but therein lies th' rub; I didn't think there wuz enough uv 'em to fill a washin' tub! One tree each of Jonathon, Red Delicious an' scrumptious Honey Gold, I planted many years ago when I wuz young an', oh so bold! Now in th' autumn uv my life as I plucked 'em by th' gross, I regretted plantin' the consarned things an' grew somewhat morose! My spouse an' me filled numerous boxes an' many a shoppin' bag, An' pared an' chopped up bruised ones - it really wuz a drag! I peddled th' things to neighbors, th' kids an' many a friend, Even to casual passersby that I thought I might befriend! We 'preciate th' left-over apples that God's creatures with us shared, An' we'll enjoy th' sweet applesauce an' pies my dear wife prepared. But if in ensuin' autumns an abundant crop uv apples appears, Th' critters kin harvest 'em - I'll jes' watch an' enjoy a couple o' beers! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (© All Rights Reserved)