Long Consarned Poems

I wuz relaxin' on th' porch t'other day admirin' th' apples on my trees.
Th' branches began to quake, I thought it wuz jes' a passin' breeze.
Alas, 'twuz them pesky squirrels an' birds eatin' their daily...

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I reckon I've seen about everything in my nigh four-score years.
Obnoxious teens, obnoxious elders and unpleasant Wall-Mart cashiers,
And those baggy pants with the crotch nearly reaching to the knees,
But folks with a cell phone in...

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Grandpa was a jolly fellow so talented and so wise.
He could plant a row of corn as straight as the arrow flies!
He was a very handy carpenter never once hitting his thumb, 
And he built...

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The hoopla of the Holiday Season has now come and gone.
Cash in the bank to pay for that spree is nigh overdrawn!
Just when I thought I was free from financial strain,
A packet arrived from the...

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Hank lounged on the bunkhouse porch tossin' back some beers,

Watchin' the sunset and reminiscin' about his cowboyin' years.

He peered at the sun 'twixt the pointy toes of his shabby boots

Propped on the railin', that he'd...

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The hoopla of the Holiday Season has now come and gone.
Cash in the bank to pay for that spree is nigh overdrawn!
Just when I thought I was free of serious financial strain,
A packet arrived from...

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Grandpa was a very jolly fellow, so talented and so wise.
He could plant a row of corn as straight as the arrow flies!
He was a capable carpenter, never once hitting his thumb!
He built barns "'squar'...

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I can't recall the last time I've had a good night's rest.
It ain't because I'm stressed or restless or depressed.
Nor is it the fitful snorin' of my spouse sprawlin' by my side.
It's that consarned nocturnal...

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Spring was ushered in the other day by a glorious, warmin' sun!
The robins seemed elated, but for me another cycle had begun.
Just days ago the lawn was brown, now it's turnin' green.
Alas, I must begin...

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Although I'm in my autumn years I still feel full of ginger.
But I'm slowin' down - my brittle bones so as not to injure!
Alas, I can't do everything that I once would choose.
It now takes...

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This bewildering computer of mine just gives me fits!
I panic when the consarned thing goes on the fritz!
I peruse the baffling manual but that doesn't help me any.
It might as well have been written in...

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I watched the old man mosey to his favorite fishing spot.
Ahead of him his faithful dog capered at a lively trot.
No fancy fishing lures for him, just a simple bamboo pole,
And a can of worms...

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When glancing out my window this morning I was pleased to see,

Golden leaves wafting to the ground from my mountain aspen tree.

A carpet of gold now graces the lawn on which frisky squirrels play.

Emerald leaves...

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