Best Wha Poems

Thar was nae richt ae laddie sair
wha heft a cave 'side Galloway,
wi' nae jaiken he griftit dare
as he was nae tae lippen tae.

Ill-naitur'd  fishwife...

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Pweeze wet me expwain, officer - 
I taught it was dat wascally wabbit agin...
buwwowing under my ewectric fence,
eating up my cawwots. wettece, my bwoccoli
and-and...even my...

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STARBUCKS AND COOKIE

I sit in Barnes and Noble
Looking at the figure-display over the snack bar
Oh how out-of-place    in time   ...

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I                 f
       ...

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"I loooove Taylor Swift. I'm a devoted Swiftie." 
"GAAA! Why didn't you tell me that on the first date?" 
"Excuse me?"
"Look, I'm a classic rock...

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The Faeries Are Still Outside

Trying to cheer a garden up from the clay,
But the crabgrass won’t part
And the trees are snickering 
At the art-
Less way...

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S T A G N A T E D

"I'm pregnant."

A snake chill suddenly crawl in his spine when he heard her words. Icy sweats ran...

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This poem is written with a fair of Jamaican Patois but I hope you all get the drift.


Cow Cock Soup


Boy things a get bad, really...

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Don't force ya 'tentions on me,
For I'm not Invalidie.

Don't Read mah mind, trying to FIX it too
For I'm not Invalidie.

Don't be God, trying to Punish...

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I’m hunting wabbits , are you going too.
Da duh da duh da downtown is a clue.
Watch out for that, doc.
I’ll think I will walk.
Ti, ti,...

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Didjeridu, balm for a shattered ego.
Deep, deep downnnn at the source of it all.
A vibration worthy of a throat singer, no,
downnnn, wha, wha, among the...

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She was tidying up the food store,
then soon a mouse appeared on a shelf.
"What a cuuuute lil thing....." she whispered.
So touched by it's white fur...

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Tha lil ugh-gy duckin...

...Waa-uh-uh...a BAT lookin baby!
An somMO (I don mean jus maybe!)
Growt up in a house-boat shack
Way downt-ere in ole MAN-chac
Ain lyin!! (An I...

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Oh,no!not again,my book is in a mess.vomits of inks all over my notes.
My pen is drunk again.Stench!,stench of vomits everywhere.As it wobbles
from line one to...

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Ode To Wayne Gretzky

We all carry the same genes
and look how different we turn out;
I honed my skills to playing hockey
and look how far I’ve...

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