Best Walkie Poems
I was out walking my dragon, when I came across a Dogasaurus Rex.
It really wasn’t so bad until; they got into a real life-pissing contest.
My dragons’ roar was way less than his, and spitting fire, he couldn’t do.
So they squared off, eyes aglow, and yep, a true pissing contest did ensue.
Now, that was really icky, and flooded my neighbors whole lawn, ewww.
Well, it smelled awfully bad, but when they got going, what was I to do.
And a pooper-scooper does not work here, so I had to wait till both were thru.
If there wasn’t enough testosterone, now my neighbors’ was added, to the brew.
A mean old codger lived right there, and now, even he, was royally pissed.
Watering the lawn wouldn’t send it away; it would spread it more, amiss.
I ran to get my neighbor witch, who was laughing her head off, yes, indeed.
I’d need her help to save the yard, and with the old codger, to finally succeed.
The old codger amazed, started adding, held in, bubbling laughter, to the brew.
Seems he’s a lonely old man, with not enough fun added in his life, it’s true.
He tapped his foot, as his dogasaurus Rex did more, what was I to do, in truth?
I became worried, it would be the death of him, if he didn’t laugh out loud, forsooth.
I ask the dragon, to burn the yard, to save us all, but he just snickered more, thereon.
How, you ask, was I to extradite myself? I went home to put a fire retardant suit, on.
Coming back I kicked, the dragon in his butt, for always being so crazily, put upon.
That quickly brought his fire on me, as I took it into the middle of the yucky lawn.
With the taunting done, the icky stuff gone, the witch put the grass back, with great skill.
Then, the dragon started laughing, his butt off, while thinking I’d owe the witch’s bill.
Hah! He was incredulous, as I said; he’d do the witch’s bidding, till it was fulfilled.
Then, the silly dragon, down right cried, as I told him, the walkies, would now be nil!
But, Grandpa Troll intervened, with us both in timeout, again, facing across the lake.
And, the old codger, spent the rest of his life happy, entertaining the town, with our fate.
From then on, the dragon and dogasauraus, were seen everywhere, as great playmates.
And me, I always carry an umbrella, so Dragon can never rain on my parade…
War taught of the need for nutrition and good health,
and so Penicillin was first used on mass scale,
tin food was too, like never before,
that pill when you’re ill distributed through war.
Wellington Boots were first used with army suits,
when invaders wanted Greek ground democracy was found.
Those chemical compounds taught of nuclear doom,
while v2 rockets put man on the moon,
engines on planes were made safer,
now airplanes fly in lanes tracked on radar.
This website you’re on and the E-mails you get,
be sure you know, war made the internet,
talking of war that’s what walkie talkies were first for,
war gives us advanced things we only dreamt of before.
And I stress, without war we'd know less,
but the best lesson of them all, is, don’t go to war.
I reveal these words to the American,
who has the right to pardon this page,
while the whole world's getting out of hand,
as the evils of revelations rage,
Why's the US helping foreign lands?
when it can't get a grip on it's own,
If they intend to make any future plans...
why not start right here at home?
It's nobody's right to invade anywhere;
there's no serious threat here at home,
so send the officials whom send our troops there..
and on the front line with a cell phone,
Yea! parachute them in with a baseball bat,
a cell phone and a roll of duct tape,
One they get to where imposing minds are at...
they can put on their superman cape,
Or, drug them and issue them a used baseball bat,
a walkie talkie and a catchers mitt...
Once they realize where and the heck they're at,
there's a chance they'll resign or quit,
And pardon me if you don' t feel the same,
or believe "just"...........as I do,
but those thousands of humans killed and maimed...
continue growing in numbers too.
There once was a Highlander Jockey
Like his stallion, brazen and cocky
Sorry for being coarse
I am hung like my horse
So boastful, and all walkie talkie
* Written 20/05/14 *
Grandpa's famous venison beer chili the night before
He's no longer with us but was a man everyone would adore
Like other holidays filled with family traditions for so many so is deer hunting season
Everyone is welcome so take a stop by camp for a visit, you don't need a reason
Everyone is prepared and has sighted in their gun
Even that in itself with safety in mind can be loads of fun
Blinds are all ready,everyone's been baiting in advance
The woods are so beautiful at first glance
Wake up to grandpa saying "top of the morning to ya,daylight in the swamp" music to our ears
Time to start getting ready for our chance at taking down a deer
Quick breakfast and coffee as we get ready
Hopefully you don't get buck fever and hold your gun steady
Bundle up in all our warm gear to head out into the crisp morning air
Anticipating what will come and the stories we'll have to share
Take a brief break for lunch before heading back out
Over the walkie talkie "I shot a 7 pointer" you hear grandpa shout
No need to track it, dropped dead in its tracks
Go lend a hand to help haul it back
That night we share stories,venison jerky and a celebratory drink
Dad's watching from heaven with a smile and a wink
This season is about so much more then just shooting a deer
Giving thanks honoring your kill and traditions surrounded by great food and company, it's one of the best times of the year
Dark Side
Date: Mon, Oct 19 2015 at 5:44 PM
I'm on "Probation"
I can't catch any "Cases"
Cause they goin give me a "Equation"
I feel like grabbing the "Knife"
Of "Mike"
And "Jasons"
An put nails in my face like "Hellraiser"
An I'm feeling hot I feel like I'm goin to hell and Murdering "Satan"
An Blow up a couple police "Stations"
Blow up a bank an leave no "Traces"
Take over military "Bases"
An steal a Tank an come up the block "Blazing"
With my Army in "Helicopters"
In Nightvision goggles and "Binoculars"
Send the swoop in from the Walkie "Talkies"
Search and Destroy "Kamikaze"
Take over the white house with the "Haitians"
In a shirt printed Jamrock with " Jamaica"
An Army of "Jamaicans"
Cubans some "Natives"
An hang everybody "Racist'
An a Klan of " Caucasians "
Can't forget Africa an my Latin "Brothers"
With some Latin Queens dressed like "Bandits" they will feel what's "Suffer"
With Trained Lions blowing Elephant "Tusks"
On Elephants while the world sirens till Dawn to "Dusk"
A couple engineers from "China"
This the Vengeance of the "Messiah"
I'm "Zechariah"
I didn't forget the "Asians"
The "Canadians"
This the Revolution of all "Nations"
They goin really have to "Segregate" Us
Y'all Killed "MARTIN" LUTHER "KINGS - Dreams"
This the NIGHTMARE MARTIN LUTHER "Seen'
I'm the Seed of Malcolm "X"
They didn't Need Now Malcolm "Resurrect"
Like the Lazarus "Effect"
Tupac in the "Flesh"
I was trained by DMX Now it's time to show them Tricks from "BMX"
Black Mafia Family this the new "BMF"
I'm here Eazy now you can "Rest"
What y'all thought we was goin keep marching for "Respect"
No we charging now until "Death"
No Reparations No "Check"
No Pays for our "Debt"
Cat Love ©
Don't ruffle my fur that direction! I've got it looking just the way I want.
I love you but I'm very busy today.
Don't move, this is my lap time and I'm very comfy.
Scratch right there, no a little more to the left, a little higher, to the right.
Look what I've brought you--isn't it beautiful? I killed it in the garden.
That's what we're having for dinner?
You need to work on how you pick your friends. I don't like that one and besides he had the nerve to sit in my chair!
I could find a better human, you know, if I put in some effort….
But I guess you'll do…for now.
Dog Love
Pet me, pet me, pet me! Oh boy! A butt rub!
I love you to the ends of the earth and beyond!
I'll just lay here quietly, I won't bother you, as long as I can touch you.
Throw the ball! Throw the ball! Again! Again!
I love my dinner, you're such a good mommy!
'Walkie', 'go outside', 'go for a walk', 'let's go pee-pee'. Yippee! Where's my leash?
I love your friends. That one scratched my ears and told me I was a good dog.
You're home! You're home! Why were you gone so long….it doesn't matter now…You're home!
You're the best human ever….I love you!
There are so many joys in life.
But one of the biggest joys is when
a particular person not only touches your heart,
but your entire being.
Its like we can finally be ourselves
and being ourselves is very freeing,
Its like we are truly living.
When you find this person,
be sure to let that person know
that they're your number one priority.
Remember this persons heart
has been looking for you heart it's whole life.
Yes things got in the way,
but it was our hearts,
that is always determined.
Even when our bodies wanted to give up,
because the way things looked
though our natural eyes .
The only way to find true love,
is to treat your heart like a walkie talkie,
that is looking for the perfect signal
on the right heart.
The static you sometimes hear,
is life getting in the way.
But when the signal is clear,
you will know it because their voices ,
will sound like music to your ears.
And their always on your mind
from the moment you wake up,
to the time you close your eyes.
I'm just a Soldier in his Camouflage
In the Mirror of the Mirage
Chameleon to envious enemies Onslaughts
They in the Image of Decepticons
Why I listen in on the Intercom
Walkie Talkie till the Image of the Affiliates Collage
Nightvision goggs I can see they Militants in the Fog
Not knowing they walking into planted land mine full of Bombs
With Grenades in my Palms
Stake outs in the Night to Dawn
Why I'm concealed looking from the Pond
In the trees with Ninja Stars
With a few Ninjas with Swords over they Arms
I pray to GOD for Victory an then I kiss my Charm
Then I put my dog tag back under my Thermal
Eyes filled with Inferno
That burns Eternal
I sit in the tree lookin at the stars an write in my Journal
To me it's Business and it's Personal
Grandma, look I am flying on your broom.
Where would you be going on such a fine
Afternoon?
Be careful that's an heirloom.
To your bedroom
To get my costume.
Grandma, look I am flying on your broom.
Well! One thing is for sure you have plenty of
Elbow room.
Did you find your black pantaloons?
Be careful that's an heirloom.
Before we go trick or treating you will need to
Use the powder room.
Once your outfit is on there won't be another
Opportune.
Grandma, look I am flying on your broom.
I assume
You bought your walkie talkies so we can
Commune.
Be careful that's an heirloom.
Grandma, why does daddy fume?
Never you mind. Halloween will be over soon.
Grandma, look I am flying on your broom
Be careful that's an heirloom.
(More Pun-ishment)
The difference between a Fine and a Tax
is really easy to tell!
A Fine is a tax, for doing wrong!
A Tax is a fine, for doing well!
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade,
I once heard someone say.
Find someone whose life gave them, Vodka'
then you two can party, the rest of the day!
"What's the purpose of Raindeer"?
He thought that question was funny!
He answered her, as best he could,
"It makes the grass grow, Honey"!
What Disney movie is about a stupid boyfriend?
Does anybody know?
Sorry people, your time is up!
The answer, of course, is "Dum-bo"!*
What's the longest piece of furniture in the world?
Please, answer if you're able!
You can go to the head of the class,
if you said - The Multiplication table!
If a Parrott is crossed, with a Centipede,
what would we get in the end?
The result,very simply stated,
is a "Walkie-Talkie", my friend!
A bullet stuck in a tree with no leaves,
would be difficult to see!
In any event, you would have to admit,
it's "a cartridge in a bare tree"!
What would you call a Rabbit with fleas?
Which wouldn't be all that funny!
I don't know about you folks,
but I would call him "Bugs Bunny"!
(*Dum-bo = Dumb Beau)
A Psychiatric doctor poked and prodded in my head..
I was all screwed up, I think; he said…?
Was it because I claimed to see “purple elephants“?
Who amazingly did some acrobatic stunts?
The “doc” looked at me and shook his “mind”
I wasn’t listening, I was counting sticks; on the blinds..
He told me to lay down and all I heard was a “walkie talkie”
My mouth was racing before my brain, speaking jabberwocky.
The “doc” employed me to start a “wellness Plan”
On the ceiling; there were a hundred dots seemingly well spanned.
The “doc” read me the “itinerary” of this “technique” to apprehend...
I looked at him and my mind dawdled and couldn’t comprehend..
His “philanthropic” approach did not make me feel at ease..
I wanted to ride on the “purple elephants” and away I would leave!
The tick and the tock are never far asunder..
All the noises in the room sounding more like thunder….
“He” states now this hour is adjourned..
The dour doc pencils another “appointment” with the look of discern.
Oh, the incessant noise, the jibber jabber,
civilization’s cure for loneliness,
the panacea for boredom.
If only, if only, “You’ve got male.”
would be an answer.
Ah, but no…
Tweet on, “Oh ship of state…”
this Union, this rudderless human joining…
Oh, to be a deer in the wood
the silent wood, the sea of green, the eye of calm
to hear naught but the patter of rain.
And, taste only the dewy mist
on the tip of pedal pink tongue.
To not have soiled the soul, flesh eater, destroyer
To be Un-manned…
To run and leap, doe-eyed, over fallen log…instead of fallen foe.
To rise a-dawning in the mist of a four-legged dream.
To be mounted by a loyal buck
and birth a quivering fawn.
Surely, all the monkey mind has to offer
can not compare to the innocence of the doe.
Shut the roaring static, kill the jabber walkie
resurrect me silent, furred and free
amongst the fiddleheads and moss
of the wildwood.
Listen to the gossip of the rain,
dancing on my windows and jumping on the pavement,
thrumming and battering on the roofs,
plays a little sleep-song on my roof at night,
when it hits the ground, becomes a rivulet.
Listen to the rain falling from the sky,
tracks blending into the fresh sky-fallen trickles,
crackle dry verandah like an old walkie-talkie coming to life,
beat the panes like timorous wings,
and quench our endless thirst.
Listen to the pouring rain,
pouring from dark skies,
crashed deafeningly on the corrugated metal roof,
fell down constantly like an endless bucket of water being
poured down from the heaven,
sounds like the heavens are knocking on my door,
droplets thrashed at the ground, with ferocity matchless,
beat upon my heads with silver liquid drops.
There are so many joys in life.
But one of the biggest joys is when
a particular person not only touches your heart,
but your entire being.
Its like we can finally be ourselves
and being ourselves is very freeing,
Its like we are truly living.
When you find this person,
be sure to let that person know
that they are your number one priority.
Remember this persons heart
has been looking for you heart it's whole life.
Yes things get in the way,
but your heart was always determined.
Even when our bodies wanted to give up,
because the way things looked though our natural eyes .
The only way to find true love,
is to treat your heart like a walkie talkie,
that is looking for the perfect signal
on the right heart.
The static you sometimes hear,
is life getting in the way.
But when the signal is clear,
you will know it because ,
their voice will sound like music to your ears.
So their on your mind from the moment you wake up,
to the time you close your eyes.