Best Wair Poems


Hugh Jackman

If Hugh jackman,s time as wolverine is thrue . 

Then maybe I can fynd him , sumthing else 2 du !

He could play a part in James d.hudnall,s Espers moovee ,

Or show . And if Tim minear would direct it , lots of unemployed actors ,

Would have sum wair 2 go ! 


Hugh jackman could play that brit dude hoo has super speed !

Shay astar plays Linda Williams , she tried 2 save her dad from 

Terrorist , but she did not suckseed ! 

Mario Lopez could play the American indian levatator

Hoo can give his frend a ride .

We could get that jap boy from the 100 2 play the kid

Hoo has lightning on his side !

Rebecca gay heart can play that south American reporter 

Hoo has a force field & can Tellyport . Tommy from third rock 

Can play Alan black hoo creates magic cards & can escape from 

Any fort ! Josie Davis can play sky Channing , she can just touch things

And know just wair thay bin , but will these be enough super powers

2 let these sykicks win ? David Hubbard can play the Jamaican cook 

Hoo is immune 2 flame . Jeffrey Donavan can play that Russian spy

Hoo fails at killing them & takes most of the blame !...
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Peace, Love and Pie

Thair is this girl called : peace , love & pie . Her dad jumps out of aero planes .

Noeboddy noze why ! She wants 2 jump from aero planes too !

But if her parachute doent open, she wood be thrue ! 

She has a girlfrend called apokkullips ! She duz not cum frum Egypt ,

Or like stepping on the x-men,s space ships ! This girl duzzint have minny cloze !

And she duzzint have any pantyhose ! She just graduated frum hy skool !

But she duzzint have a swimming pool ! She likes jumping rope in a southern park !

Wair rednecks swing flayming mace balls in the dark , and her frends play with

Hoolah hoops , and thay all look like a bunch of goofs !her dad,s job is

Falling frum the sky ! Why thay pay him 4 this . Noe one noze why!...
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Ime Still Not 2 Blame

My sister dresses me like a girl .she sez Ime as skwirley as a skwirl ! 

She uses a wheelchair sum times , because her legs are lame !

& if it roles down thoze stairs , Ime still not 2 blame !


Weard things happen in Texas. 

Wair former miss texas,s get weard from the strain .

& if thair wheel chairs role down the stairs ,

Ime still not 2 blame ! 


A lot of beauty queens got sons , win thay wanted dawters .

Thay du things 2 us , that thay shouldn't du ! 

People in Texas don,t like you if you hate football !

Thay dress us up in panteys & braws & dresses .

Win we ask , thay woent tell us wair are daddy's wint .

& if we ask 2 much , thay tell us 2 get bint ! 

My sister dresses me like a girl , she sez , Ime as skwirley as a skwirl .

She uses a wheel chair sum times , because her legs are lame .

& if it roles down those stairs , Ime still not 2 blames !...
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Wondering

Ime wondering about moe hunt,s  health .but allso about Howard Hughes wealth , & 

allso about  brainiac-5,s belt ! 

And win it snows in Chicago , win will it melt ?

The legion of super heroes left stuff at a museum ,

Hope-ing people wood come 2 see um .

But sum football player stole brainiac 5,s 

Force field belt & win the cops chased him ,

Away he did melt . Allso missing is 

Super boy,s flite-ring , but superboy can fly with out that thing , 

And wair did booster gold,s uniform cum frum ?

& win superman hit red tornaydo , it broke off his thumb ?...
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Hat Wairers

Hat wairers are people too . 

We deserve equal rites just like the females & 

The black fokes du ! 

We deserve Freedum frum the fashion fashists ! 

And the church-o-holix hoo wish 2 bash us ! 

Weed like 2 form a raynboe koelayshun !

Or maybe even an intyir hat wairers nayshun !

Weed rather wair hats then go 2 church ,

Weed rather wair hats then have lunch with lurch .

Even Jessie Jackson sumtimes wairs hats ,

So all u religious finnattix think about that !...
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Luner Coloney Rime

IDE like 2 live , in a luner coloney .

Wair all us aytheist hockey players can live in liberty .

Away from all the dirtey talkers like Richard Pryor .

& away from people hoo are addicted 2 the kwyir !

People hoo cover thair burgers with cooked onions & mayohnaze ,

Are the kind of people , hoo are sureley mayo krazed ! 

These people use nouns as verbs ! And thay woent 

Stops saying , all seven dirtey words ! 

So  all us hetiroe sapein boys , invite all you orange haired girls

2 the moon , included are free tickets  4 the Tokyo orbital eluhvaytor ,

So you can see us soon !
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Astro-Sitty

The place wair I live , is called Astro-sitty ! And I sure can tell u that this place is 

Pritty ! This beautiful town is the place of my dreams .

And Moest of the kids here belong 2 the teams !

In this beautiful town , are sum gize not of earth ,

And nun but thair parents , know the dates of thair birth !

The streets here are paved with gold ! And weather controle sattellites 

Mean it's never cold ! We found all the munny from al Capone,s vaults !

And all our chocolate shakes have extra malts !...
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Dark Side of the Moon

On the dark side of the moon , wair the lezbeins liv ,
Thay doent hav much use for men , exsept 4 the sperm that thay giv .

But thairs a nue drug ! It mite start a man-less craze !
And the name of the drug is halseon daze! 

It's a stairil drug, it can kill any jerm ! And the lezbeins luv it b-cuz ,
It's a replacement 4 sperm ! 

So win the sperm salesmen is trying 2 charge , mor than thay want 2 pay !
The lezbeins hoo bawt from him b-4 can scream ( no way !)

The lezbeins on the moon , hav 2 watch out 4 darkon,s evil teknoe men !
B-cuz the dark side of the moon , is wair , darkon has allways bin !

B-cuz the moon is a dead world , u can drill rite thrue ! 
So win p-pul say , ( woent u get burned near the middul ? 
U can tell them , ( its coeld and blue ! ) ...
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The Dna-Gents

Rainbow is a girl , with multi-colored hair. She makes people see things ,

That are not really thair ! Amber can float up intu the sky , win asked how she duz it,

She duz not know why ! Tank is very big and strong , lucias krell will find sum one 

New 4 him 2 fite B-4 very long . Sham can wair any face he wants , but he can never 

Skair that white haired girl hoo luvs him . Lite-Ning cums frum the hands of surge ,

Even if he can,t find Luger the assassin hoo killed the girl he loved !...
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Doug Moench,S Aztec Ace

He protects the future, from the past .

But u better bring a doctor kwick ! 

Because that girl is bleeding fast !

Win bad gize attack the past ,

& the prezint and future change ,

Sum one must put things back ,

Like it should be .

But , like In Time- loop cases ,

Everyone 4-gets wut just happend ,

Except 4 ayleins & time travelers .

Hide-ing extra time machines ,

In Aztec pyramids , well! Wair wood u hide them ?

Doug moench story's are allways better with 

Paul galaxy art .ths isn,t as grate as

(6-from-Sirius) , but it's way better than

Air boy ! ...
© John Hall  Create an image from this poem.

Avril Lavigne

Avril lavigne didn,t get any awards , win Nora jones got seven from sum 

Wackoe judging boards ! It makes it hard 4 avril , 2 let her colors show !

And after Blair witch two , wair did tristine skylar go ? 

Sum people say , she,s hanging out with Erica Kane ,

Ime so glad she didn,t take ride on Peter tomarken,s aero plane !

Peter tomarken crashed his plane ! Bob Collins crashed his plane too !

Robert kenneddy crashed his plane . But Darryl Hannah made it thrue !...
© John Hall  Create an image from this poem.

Brooke Shield,S Dawter

Brooke shield,s dawter is a shef named cook!
Detective glass has a son named book! 

Quinn Cummings dawter is a girl named zinn ! 
Mike Nelson,s grandson wants 2 dive in Hudson,s bay ,
Wair no one else has ever bin !

No one else can say wut Blair Warner,s dawter mite du.
If Lauren Garcia,s parachute doent open , she wood be thrue!

Kristi macnichol,s dawter wants 2-B a boy ! 
Keannu reeves is looking 4 his grandpaw,s killer ,
So he can destroy !

Matt praeger,s dawter wants 2 go 2 space ,
B-cuz ayleins took her dad 2 sum unnoen place !

Daphne Zuniga,s dawter leads a groop called the children of the stars 
& sum dude is robbing banks! And he looks like veronica mars !...
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This Luetinnant

This luetinnant commander , of the data kind , seeks girl with Beverley crusher 
Like boddy & Deanna Troy like mind ! Plus leeta Alexander like hair and 
Patty yasutake like eyes and big barda like armor & Julie newmare like thize !

In a year , win thairs an orbital eluhvaytor that we can tayk up 2 the 
Space stations , & then shuttle 2 luner coloney b-yond all nayshuns !

Maybe we can have brunch at the sea of trankwilitty , 
In a domed city , using no super aybilitty ! 

Wair we can watch starships cumming out of the faktorry !
Wile we are eating a 10 sandwich meal , called the sandwich snack-torrey !...
© John Hall  Create an image from this poem.

Raven Ramirez

Raven Ramirez was take-ing dryving lessons from her dad ,

And I know that it duzzint sound  so very bad ,

But thay park thair cars under a very narrow deck ,

Wair we know , thair mite be a wreck ! 


Raven Ramirez is a very skinny thing ,

If she was a bird , she could easily take wing ,

Raven Ramirez has a very hungrey frend . 

Sum of us fear that raven Ramirez,s frend,s hunger

Mite be the cause of raven Ramirez,s end ! 

Raven Ramirez and Megan could cosplay

Tennessee tukseedoe and chumley ,

Thay could du it well , thay mite not du it dumley !
© John Hall  Create an image from this poem.

Haunted Valley

South of 80th.street & west of the Dan Ryan ,
Thairs a haunted valley , & I aynt living ! 

It looks like it used 2 B , a parking lot for trucks ! 
But now it's just a landing pad 4 ducks ! 

It's a nice place 4 piknix , x-sept 4 it being haunted ! Like macdonald,s is ,
A nice place 4 breckfast , x-sept that burgers R wunted !

Maybe we can bild an orbital eluhvaytor thair! & a barber shop 4 ball hedded girls
Hoo Badley need sum nair !

It's just south of the railroad tracks ! South of wair toys-R-us used 2 B ,

If sum wun wud put a dor in the  fence ,west & south of thair .
P-pul cud git 2 the near by wite cassil easilly !  

It's big Eenuff 2 play softball at. I cud  hit home runs thair ,
Win I swing the bat . I wonder how much the leegoes cost ? 

At the near by mall . & thairs a doenut stor , 
Wair I can by them all!...
© John Hall  Create an image from this poem.

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