Best Ventriloquists Poems
Over by the corner the bandstand plays on
next to the cotton candy wagon and the clown
Its a circus act full of people and acrobats
and tallish men on walking wooden stilts
One tiny red balloon dots the sky as I espy
juggling acts leading to the garden path
it ain't over until the fat lady sings
so I better not dally, I need a glass ring
Fire eaters and sweet ladies that stretch
ventriloquists with two sided mouths
magicians that stage with props, and coins
cats on tight ropes, hawkers and escapists
Silver hoops and fast delivery guys
life is changing right before our very eyes
Give me the candy but don't tell me lies
of course I want the red balloon, untie!
February 12, 2023
Sponsor Anthony Biaanco
Contest Name Balloons
Fish and chips salty air
Big fat bottoms sat on stripy deck chairs
Sticks of rock candy floss and bottles of soda pop
Sand castles and buckets and spades
Dad with binoculars pretending to look out to sea
But looking at the bikini hot babes
Little child paddles in the sea
Little child has a pee
Ice cream and jellyfish
Punch and Judy ventriloquists
Bare flesh everywhere sea breeze tussles hair
Walruses laid on beach towels everywhere
Courting couples walking hand in hand
Games of cricket and Beach ball on the sand
Annoying music steaming from someone's radio
A scream goes out as a crab bites someone's toe
The smell of suntan lotion mixed with sweat
And the smell of cigarettes
Waves rolling upon the shore
A baby wanting it's diaper changing lets out a might roar
Burgers and hot dog's from a van
Guy's with muscles parading the beach as though saying to the girls
Look at me I'm all real man
As the girls giggle and wiggle
As the hot Sun smiles down
On a day by the sea.
Peter Dome.Copyright.2015. May.
Eminem Protege 2
Don't care what you think
I need Ten Shrinks an Ten Pens Full Of Ink
To Let my Inner Wisdom Tink
Colder Than Ten Penguins In A Rink
My Spirit Fitness & Physique at it's Peak
Adrenaline Obese
Extinguished to Concrete
Out the Pyramids Extinct
Into this Physical Dimension as A Sphinx
Face of a Beast of a Lynx
Idiot Beliefs placing limited reach
on my limitless fatigue
My Old Image Obsolete
I stole Potion from Ten Witches An Ten Wishes
from Ten Genies an Ancient Magicians
an Buried the lamps in the Ditches
while I summoned Ten Fighting Spirits
of Venegance as My Apprentices
I Opened my Sealed Syllabus
to Reveal my Ventriloquists
Just left Hells Kitchen with Skin Itching
with Skin Blisters open Skin Pigments
Stealing Lucifers Instruments
to Use them Against Him
To appear as Glitches
against the System
I cook Hot Meals with Mittens
an make him taste the Illness
I'm Inventing
But only an Sample for Interest
for His Taste Senses
cause Hells angels can Sensor the Sizzling
I'm Fly like Ten Twin Pigeons
with Eagles Precision
I'm a Scientist but I ain't writing Science Fiction
with Knowledge that would leave Einstein Winded
I been Fighting for Living
100 percent Percentage
an no less than a Percent difference
Still Power in my Engine
to keep the Ignition Driven
You can't Compare to these Rare Characteristics
the Judgements from your Conscious
is InTolerant to my Unresponsive
Mental Doctrines
Im use to Antagonist
Real Hebrew who's a Zionist
False Prophets who Diabolic an Jewish
Judaism Created with Iron Fist
in A Luciferian Science
of Enlightenment
Jewish Hybrids Of Pirates
Stolen Israels Environment
I ain't Racist
Just apart of a Nation
Created
Created Generations to Generations
Heritage Invaded
an Culture Undertaken
Perpetrated
by The Synagogue of Satanist
my fire been Penetrated
the fire in the eye of the Tiger formulated
stripes on the tiger Blazing
I'm Judahs Inspiration
an Judas Envy Craving
But I'm not Babylons Patriot
Bablyonion Doom Waiting
Doomsday
when the Moon Change
The Wolf Rage
Waging Spiritual Shade
against Ravenous Wolves in Sheeps Wools
is Game
Sharpened Tools
my Sword is Shaped
Cut open the Wolves
an Bathe in the Pool
of Blood til It's Drained
I'm a Prophet in the Apocalypse
There …
It was
dark. England,
set down, and stretched out
for miles,
and days
without end
Far afield her quondam spirit,
But forever sprawling
Beneath
Discouraging clouds
with unbroken tears
that washed out …
cricket games
and pigeon stool,
bleeding into drinking …
Watered-down whiskey
from pubs
following the concrete pavements
Victorian structures,
and verdant meadows
that sleep …
to the lullabies
of Jackdaws and humming engines
I often wonder,
how one can speak
without both lips in motion;
Are they half ventriloquists?
I need no retort;
I’m just playing George on this one
When Auntie returned …,
from London, with her brain
swimming in high tide,
they were quick to blame
the clock,
but Manchester is the author
of this charlatan
The tale is that
those who trust
Big Ben for time
Will in fact misplace their minds
How true a case is he?
Old England will agree
he is special
Rum will whisper tall stories,
same with Cognac and Vodka,
but aren’t there days
when we are restrained
What is Sawicki,
but a train, blowing wet whistle?
How straight can one walk
with neurons bathing in ethanol?
In days past, dictionaries were scarfed-up;
men were …
Men were quick and questioning
Where is evolution;
like monkeys we mimic?
John Fletcher
I know, and C. Marlowe
Much of William Blake and Carew
I recalled Arnold,
the Brownings, and Dowson,
So much for Killigrew,
old Abercrombie, Crowley,
and young Liam Wilkinson
Who in God’s name is Sawicki,
Whose “master” is he?
The clouds are ventriloquists
and I am their dummy.
I fall with the rain,
fly with the wind,
and slump over on heavy summer days.
My wooden head so perfect
that I've perfectly misunderstood
my own place.
I close the doors,
draw the blinds,
and stare into the mirrors.
I speak unto my painted eyes
and wait for a response.
'Tis said that God loves all His creatures great and small.
Here are just a few of them - I can't begin to name them all!
He loves us one and all the whole world wide from A to Z!
His steadfast love is extended to all including a sinner like me!
God loves atheists, alcoholics, bootleggers, bums and Baptists -
Bailiffs, Catholics, conservatives, coopers and capitalists -
Doctors, dentists, democrats, extortionists and Eskimos -
Farmers, fishermen, golfers, generals and hypochondros!
He loves harlots, hypocrites, infidels, judges and jackasses -
Kings, kooks, lawyers, Lutherans, liberals and lasses -
Marines, Methodists, nerds, nurses, oracles and optometrists -
Presbyterians, politicians, poets, pilots and proctologists!
God loves Quakers, quacks, riveters, radicals and ragmen -
Republicans, rednecks, ranchers, reporters and raftsmen -
Sailors, Santa, scholars, scientists, sinners and scouts -
Thieves, tithers, teachers, taxmen, tradesmen and touts!
He loves unbelievers, veterans, villains and ventriloquists -
Widows, xenophobes, Yankees, yuppies and zoologists!
With so many folks to cherish, oft I wonder how it could be,
That He takes the time to love poor insignificant me!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Ventriloquists like
virtuoso uninformed
dummy mimicry
VENTRILOQUIST POETRY
Ventriloquists can drink gottles of geer
Gut their skeech is odd to our ear:
They can’t say Keter Kiker kicked
A keck of kickled kekkers - they’re tricked
Cos they can’t say gee or kee
And nost often not ewen en or wee.
Healthoquists - lots of fruit they eat:
Akkles, gananas, kineakkles, or kears as a treat
And wegetagles, like kotatoes, keas, kaggages, and geans.
All kinds of geautiful greens.
Religioquists reskect the Koke very nuch
And of course all the gishoks and kriests and such,
And they often read their Gigle
Or any Good Gook awailagle
Koliticoquists kossigly geliewe in reading the Constitution often enough
Gut krogagly not its Kreangle - too tough:
It’s well-known in Philadelphia, Galtinore, and Goston, say;
Gut not in the area of San Francisco Gay
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
NOTE
This poem can be recited in ventriloquist-fashion without moving the lips.
Letters b, p, m, v are replaced by g, k, n, w in normal ventriloquist speech.
The sounds of Autumn
Crickets legs as violins
Locusts screech from nowhere close.
Throwing their voices
As ventriloquists mimic
While leaves are strummed by slow winds.
Lightening bugs culminate
Sight into the symphony
My personal Fantasia.
vaudeville stepped off the stage
and leapt into the living room
with hot topic-tuned antenna views
shy ventriloquists turned from radio
to television with a vision to be seen
juggling with eye-catching
candle-, duck-, and ten-, pins
off the bowler skids in aerial suspension
abracadabra handlers saw their guests -
half of them enjoyed their shows
hats and canes spinning, shoes tapping
all the old variety - hosts rolling eyes
acrobats rose above them all -
the fall guys, the masters of the skies
Marx, Burns, Allen, Fields, Benny
broke their audience records
showcase of holidays and war
in time with comedy and lyrics
The good old daze
replaced by supersonic, telephonic-cell
(the farmer in the dell throws down his pitchfork
to watch)
to hock back the latest, greatest craze
of series, not to purge, but to binge
staying carefully away from Burnett, Sonny and Cher,
Donny and Marie, and Ed.
drooping eyes spring glasses,
a glass of red or white…
elsewhere, the hypothalamus of the kids,
impacted by Squiddy, Stampy and CaptainSparklez
5/25/2023
adamant energy aiding my anger management
composing into compassion in fashions that are magnificent
we are the innocent, for only enlighten chosen have their noses
outside coincidence, perpetual planning and landing so very intimate
living beyond the internet, feelings coming out as if ventriloquists
were speaking from yonder seating, barely believing my own sentences
minus all menaces, here's where positive blesses this
consecutive benefits, to draw a collective intelligence
~~~~~~
tropical frogs
now topical... endangered
all sadly... croaking
~~~~
all frogs... leprechauns
a lucky one... prince charming
rest... green in envy
~~~~
dusk... to sit beside
a garden pond... hark... croaking
know... your not alone...
~~~~
a toad out hunting
frog-let... prospective supper
that splash... salvation
~~~~
February... frogs
masses... spawning winter... cold
water still solid
~~~~
frogs of arctic lands
enforced hibernation... freeze
awaiting springtime
~~~~
have you heard a frog...
ventriloquists throwing sound...
there... here... where are they...
~~~~
the pond at dusk... shush...
koi feeding... rippled water...
bliss... then a frog jumps
~~~~~
What a spectacle to watch
professional ventriloquists at play
their dolls cute and adorable
with spunky personalities galore
I just would never dream
of ever being so rude
as to ask them to part
with their amazing secrets
‘Tis a spectacle indeed to watch
professional ventriloquists at play
their dolls ever so adorable
and spunky personalities galore
AP: Honorable Mention 2025, Honorable Mention 2020
It would be funny,
Instead, it's sad.
We acquire mouths
Like ventriloquists dummies,
Which can be bad.
Age does this to some,
It occurs around the mouth,
Lines appear at the sides of our lips,
And continue going south.
It's amusing and looks rather *****.
Unlike the ventriloquist's dummy
We can say clear
Chin up, have A BOTTLE OF BEER.
Six friends met for seance
brought their dolls
placed ring-a-rosy in the center of a table
dolls holding hands.
Lights were dimmed
and seance session started
guests cast their voices
as ventriloquists to the dolls
without moving their lips.
The dolls gossiped among themselves.
No one knew who made which doll speak.
At first it was a fun
a round table chat.
Some tried different voices.
But then, the mood shifted
as strange new voices appeared
spooky and sinister,
with more serious tone and subject.
First one, then two people left the room
too eerie and sinister by far.
Still the conversation ran round and round
between the chatting dolls.
Then someone noticed
the look on the doll's faces changed -
their eyes moved, they frowned a little.
Their demeanour became angry and bitter.
By then all friends had left the room.
But still the dolls chattered away
with strange voices flung afar
from ghostly six ventriloquists
chatting amongst themselves
in the dark.