Best Venereal Poems

VENEREAL VIRGIN

Inviolable virgin so fair, pure - pomp and circumstance.
Flexible ballerina doll, toes always pointed - free lance.

Sparkle and shine from your Rapunzle-tower.
Your courageous father makes tendrils* cower.

He abates, as he’s taught you to hate common snakes.
He licks his venomous lips, offering sacrificial fakes.

Your dance...

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Beaverish, feverish
hot Mrs. Cleaver wished
that her affair had not
given her clap. 

Fast Eddie Haskell, her
boy-toy, that rascal, his 
transmissibility
claims were all crap.

“Tickle me, pickle me,
say it’s not true, for if
you have the clap then I
must have it too!”

Doctors prescribed her some
anti-microbials,
Ward soon found out that...

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We were at the story-changing funeral 
Of the Genocide-implicated General:
A drunk and mourners were all served mineral!
In the paid tributes linked with the ethereal,
Though his life had stressed pleasures ephemeral:
An ever-pitied sufferer of the venereal, 
As a dying corporal     
Surviving on...

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