Best Undercooked Poems
QUICK EXIT
From the kitchen came a very odd smell
Menu was in Thai so I couldn't tell
Pointed and asked what is that
The waiter said its grilled rat
Was outta there like a bat outta hell...
EYE EYE
Went out with some friends for beer and meat pies
Asked the waiter to make mine a surprise
Well I took a huge bite
And nearly died of fright
The filling was made of fish and cows eyes...
ALL YOU CAN EAT
Went to a cafe where all you can eat
Thought I'd go large and have me a nice treat
Carrots, meat and some leeks
Then I heard the squeaks
Saw the food move and went white as a sheet...
MEAL DEAL
Why do restaurants sell meals that are cheap
Thought I'd go in check one out take a peep
I didn't like what I saw
Food undercooked and quite raw
And lamb kebabs may not be from a sheep...
BURGER AND FRIES
For fries and burger I was in the mood
I went in but quickly went off my food
I'll tell you the reason why
The waiter's wore just a tie
And nothing else they were totally nude...
WHATS IN A STEW (DONT ASK)
In restaurants never order a stew
What they put in to it would make you spew
Scraps from the day before
Some scrapings off the floor
And some other bits you'll find hard to chew...
LOW LIGHTING
Low lighting creates an ambient mood
Lovers taken out to eat and be wooed
They don't want you to sue
And you would if you knew
How kitchen staff really prepared your food...
(All fiction, I hope)
Written on 18th September 2020.
Shattered bottled up dreams
strewn in callous fashion,
litter those Tobacco roads
of man-made poverty
Cancerous amorality
is the accepted dystopian reality
Majority rule by the metal ballot law ...
second finger got a gun pressed to the jaw
Diablo destiny decree:
Dos digital corrects any uno analog flaw
This warped sensibility
is the venal logic served pucker raw
A lot of lip sizzle buttery undercooked,
a lot of dead bang thievery overlooked
Ash fault neglect
is heaped on the next generation
of social experimentation
Petri dish promises
are furtive cloned assertions
Silky slick politricking on the wifi
(why fi-nance poor citizens’ aspirations)
is a web of deceit ...
tax-deductible alm desertion
Roll the lively military drums,
let the drones deliver
a hollow incoming death hum
Victory is counted as being “less of,”
cull the bottom feeders of a wolfbane society —
This is the favorite poison ivy scheme
of the power pyramid builders:
Soulless architects
erecting a crooked obelisk dystopian reality
And this fractured,
motion picture reel nightmare
still ain’t murky half as bad as it’s gonna be
A Serving of Bacteria With the Pork?
By Elton Camp
It’s hard to believe that some say
Eating pork that’s pink is okay
Here’s how a supermarket survey went
Yersinia were found in nearly 70 percent
Salmonella, enterococcus and listeria too
Make undercooked pork a meal to rue
Since hogs to begin with aren’t very clean
Better hygiene in processing it does mean
In the meantime, what can pork eaters do
For reasonable safety, the options are two
Cross-contamination must not take place
And adequate cooking germs will efface
It makes some wonder if they might
Embrace a largely vegetarian diet
Raw, raw foods
Ain't the true goods for you.
You can die hard from raw intoxication,
Contamination, i-in-inflammation…!
Cook 'em all the way through, yo.
"Y'all chef and staff,"
"Yes…?"
"I can't eat this. Its raw, raw m-meat-is r-raw-raawh meat!"
"Oh…. Well it's just fine, some people do it all the time."
"I ain't like them others, and this food is clearly undercooked…"
Leavin' the restaurant, no tip,
Bee'cause I got a grip and oh yes,
Raw grease on da floor, I see the chef slip.
Actin' like it's nothing, but really-
It's bad, bad foods. Raw, raw food.
I ain't gonna buy it, nor eat it if already bought'n it.
Sunny Side Up Please
By Elton Camp
As to eating runny eggs, experts say
It’s far preferable just to run away
Undercooked yolk & translucent white
Due to salmonella, are quite a fright
Such cooking, the CDC does deride
For eggs are laid with germs inside
Consuming “over light” is a mistake
Frying them on both sides it does take
If you find that the eggs are oozing,
Food poisoning you may be choosing
It happens over 1,000 times a year
With 30 more cases for one we hear
To avoid undercooked eggs, do try
They’re unlikely to make you die
But barfing and the runs will be bad
From the raw egg that you just had
Trust is a rare thing when hidden out in life.
You find it in the craggy spots;
And the fractured family life.
An undercooked steak
With a wine as red.
Potato mush parsley
And a Cognac before bed.
I'm not the biggest nor brightest nor fastest nor smartest---
A green light signal go.
Damned annoying flashing lights!
And the ambulance.
About halfway towards home.
We picked the chestnuts
on Mayhills low,
we took their sweetness
to the stove,
we thanked the Lord
for the glorious glow
but we thanked him more
that our day did unfold,
thankyou for the undercooked roast(never got on with that oven)
for the sherry we're drinking
and your Birthday, we toast.
I made a cheese flan
Both burned black and undercooked
It was edible
I guess my knack left
Along with my dear husband.
All's been cremated!
That's why I can't eat.
I see Auchwitz and Dachau.
Christianity.
These ring the death knell.
That Pope was no kind of star
Mechanical thought
Christianity
Now has come to its ending
Crucified itself.
Resurrection
Will not do us any good.
We must start over.
But crawling on earth.
Kafka made the images
Now we must live them
`
A wish for a fish on a dish would be bliss
Though this bliss could be missed in a wishing dish fish
For a fish might go squish undercooked on a dish
So this wishing fish squished on a dish isn’t missed
1/13/20
For the Twist My Tongue Poetry Contest
Held by Nina Parmenter
Dateline: 19 August, 2008 – Sun Times Headline - Man says 9-foot tapeworm came from undercooked salmon salad
I thought it appropriate to share this with you on its anniversary.
TAPEWORM
I felt the movement deep inside
And as it passed I almost died
To see a creature 9-foot long
Come out of me – it’s wrong – IT’S WRONG!
It came, I think, from Salmon Salad
I was sick for days and somewhat pallid
But the feeling passed, I carried on
Not knowing there was something wrong
Then a wiggle here, a wiggle there
Eating more and passing air
Then dizziness and vertigo
Cramps and colic and a need to go
Combined with weight loss, muscle pain
Brought it all back once again
I didn’t catch the tell-tale signs
Until at last my system binds
Nothing coming – nothing going
Until at last a tail is showing
I don’t know why it lost its grip
Or when it all began to slip
All I know is a tapeworm
Will lose its grip and start to squirm
I felt the movement deep inside
And as it passed I almost died
To see a creature 9-foot long
Come out of me – it’s wrong – IT’S WRONG!
Mdailey
08/20/08
We Are Not Alone
Where are we going?
Rushing around
Going everywhere and ending up nowhere
Do we have to move so fast?
Eating undercooked hamburgers and supersized Cokes
We do not talk to each other
We never notice the person standing right beside you
Even families talk through email and texts
Too busy to sit and talk even for a minute
Strangers and family remain strangers
It is like we are a civilization of one
Six billion independent souls who need no one
We do not notice the world that we live in
The sun rises and sets in beautiful colors
We never notice the sky unless we’re caught in a storm
Flowers share their natural beautiful colors
Their scents fill the air but no one stops to enjoy them
Life moves too fast for anything as trivial as that
We should take a moment and stop
Just one moment to notice the people we share Earth with
Stop and smell just one flower on the side of a building
In that moment you will know that there is a world out there
A planet of life for you to experience
And you will realize that you are not alone
Painted in blue reminds me of the blues,
maybe I was undercooked got them a reason to overlook,
my talents wasted my energy drained in proving myself over again,
but all went in vain,
when you didn't turn back rather turned your back,
on me, you couldn't hide your glee,
happy like a bird set free,
me being a fool waited for ya,
the sweet salt got me baited for ya,
evasive my tone pervaded with gloom,
on seeing the walls painted in blue reminds me of the blues.
Stuffed with well cooked food
Turkey drumsticks do extrude
Undercooked statements are rude
Family members feud
Football sets the mood
Expanding bellies cunclude
Digestion sounds are crude
The Bacon King
When I got married a long time ago
There were many things I looked for
Besides the obvious, romp in the nude
I couldn’t wait, to eat some good food
Well sometimes it, would happen just right
Sometimes I barfed, all though the night
What could I do, my belly was aching
‘so I told my wife to add some bacon
(Chorus)
Yea, just smother it with Bacon
The juicy greasy kind
Burnt, Raw, undercooked
I don’t really mind
The favor of the pork
Just covers everything
They just call me
The crazy Bacon King
I would walk around, the pigs they would hide
“cause the day before, one of their friends died
“Sell the ham and sausage, money I was makin’
But you all know, I ate all the Bacon
Over the years, I had to buy new clothes
I can’t remember. When I saw my toes
Handsome looks are gone, energy takin’
But I don’t care, just pass me some bacon
(Chorus)
Yea, I am the bacon king
I’m not ashamed to say
I eat my Bacon
Happily every day
I wolf it down
And I lick the plate
“Throw caution to the wind
And accept my fate
They all tell me, you are what you eat
So I guess, I’m a greasy piece of meat
That’s ok, and I’m here for all to see
But just don’t try, to bite a piece of me
I made my choices, but it don’t get me down
I don’t even notice, dogs following me around
I’ve written something that really makes me laugh
This is what I want on my epitaph
(Chorus)
He was the king of Bacon
Sadly but true
If you were a pig
He’d take a bite of you
He died on a day
Dark and drizzlin’
Let’s hope he’s at place
That is not sizzlin’
The past, a time and space that no longer exists,
I'm talking about the past in my mind.
In the dark pit of memory, I can only drown today.
In an old house, the smell of ancestors long gone.
The sounds of footsteps on cold,black floors.
Floors that have been walked on infinite times
So that it is broken and torn with holes.
The sounds of people,screaming,crying,laughing.
About what you'd ask me...
About how their children always cried on birthdays
and about how the chicken was undercooked.
About how the older men went hunting
and how they bought their first car.
About unmarried aunts and illicit affairs of town.
About the time they were kings and why they still were.
About how they were always stuck in that old house
Just a leap away from paradise.
They spoke of miserly things and firecrackers.
They spoke a lot of these things out loud,
And Some they spoke to the walls.
The old house is a pit. Dark with the truths about me
And people like me. It's a pit in the center of
My being and there is nothing I can do about it.