Best Stooges Poems
THE THREE STOOGES
With their lunatic style of slapstick
These old favourites made their mark
Bangs on head, eye pokes and **** kicks
Were transformed to works of art
But it's not of this trio I speak
Three more egregious, my aim
On these your attention I seek
They're REGRET, SHAME and BLAME
Undesirables of the emotions
With pretence that your life they will serve
If for living this life you've devotion
Treat them with the mistrust they deserve
.....................
SHAME - the one least deserving disdain
The one who gets head bashed and eyes poked
Only loons never feel guilty pain
Without wishing their sins be revoked
With no shame at our dastardly deed
We would surely be heartless and brazen
Not to wish to repent, fault concede
But don't drown in self immolation
.....................
REGRET is a stooge insidious
A crime with no victim but self
Curbing soul in a manner perfidious
Life on hold, and you on the shelf
Have a few, perhaps 'too few to mention'
You mis-spoke? Well by all means retract words
But avoid a total suspension
And don't spend your life looking backwards
.....................
Then BLAME, there's the killer, life dumbing
Though it may give relief and brief feel-good
To beat up some rat who had it coming
But move on! Don't espouse victimhood
The problem with indulging in blame
It makes another the cause, you effected
Paint yourself in a victim's frame
Can you then be source for life corrected?
13 May 2018
curly loves to dance
larry plays the violin
moe just likes to lead
Moe, Larry, Curly are gone
but the stooges still live on
you'll find them in Washington
of us, they make fun
Entry for John Freeman's contest
Inside a cave lived the Stooges Three.
This was long before recorded history.
To make butter this morning, it was Shemp's turn.
Larry tickled him as Shemp shook cream in the churn.
For dinner, Moe attempted to hunt a duck.
He tried his best, but had the lousiest luck.
Aggie was the cavegirl Moe would adore.
Maggie and Baggy were the other girls next door.
Are you curious about how the situation will go?
All you have to do is watch the video.
Based on the 1948 Columbia Pictures short subject "I'm a Monkey's Uncle" starring the Three Stooges.
I Am: Hello guys it’s an honor, fellows
Moe: HELLO!
Larry: HELLO!
Curly: HELLO!
The Three Stooges: HELLOS!
I Am: You’re known as half-wits, birdbrains, knuckleheads,
Curly, you’re known as Porky pine, right?
As a little girl I never appreciated rough-housing humor.
Moe a mean man and you weren’t very bright
I did adore Curly with sisterly affection.
Curly: You ain’t half bad yourself toots! With my reclamation
Moe: Remind me to kill you later, hmm, maybe strangulation
Curly: OK, I’ll make a note of it! Can’t make me worry
Larry: Stick up for yourself Curly!
Moe: Yeah, what do you have to say?
Curly: Well, I oughta—tell ya another day
Moe: You oughta what? Have some finess
Curly: I oughta mind my own business
Moe: That’s better! Porky Pine
I Am: Moe, would you take another question of mine?
Moe: Yeah, make it snappy,
Larry: Moe’s always been too slap happy
I AM: Were you at one time called Ted Healy’s Racketeers?
Moe: The Southern Gent’s, knucklehead! Like the Three Musketeers
I Am: Your genres are farce, slapstick, musical comedy
Curly is the schlemiel—stupid, childish, and clumsy.
Larry is the schlimazel because he's not quite as stupid
but still ends up unlucky with cupid.
Moe, are you the aggressive and short-tempered leader of you three?
Curly: Why coitainly
Moe: The lady, you imbecile, is talking to me,
Curly: Hey, I resemble that remark!
Curly: Hey Moe, I can’t see! I can’t see!
Moe: Why’s that? Is it too dark?
Curly: ‘Cuz I have my eyes closed!
Moe: Wait’ll I punch you in the nose!
I Am: My best Three Stooges episodes were—Brideless Groom,
Disorder in the Court, Malice in the Palace, Sing a Song of Six Pants,
and Heavenly Daze
Larry: That’s five. Miss I Am are you in a haze?
Moe: Yeah Genius!
I Am: Thank you for your calculation, I quess
I Am: Do any one of you have a real job anywhere?
Curly: Why coitainly, I just got a job in a bakery
Moe: You never told me that numskull. What do you do there?
Curly: I’m a loafer!
Larry: That’s not surprising, and tell her you were a chauffer
I Am: Goodnight “Three Stooges” Love and Luck
Curly: Asta! NYUK! NYUK! NYUK!
Gorilla My Dreams sang me a moody torch song with these lyrics:
Why does your soul feel like a hole
Wherein a mole used to hide
Why does your heart fall all apart
It will not start deep inside.
Why won't somebody make my hot toddy
Oh lawdy lawdy, oh no
Why is it scary here on the ferry
With Curley Larry and Moe.