Best Speedy Poems
Andrea was late - drove at the speed of light
Traffic cops chased her - she got such a fright
The cop got out his book
Gave her a stern look
She’s off to traffic school so she now gets it right
Posted with full permission of Andrea (speedy) Dietrich
2nd April 2015
Lunch as an insect in the fog
Flying in a swamp by a log
For a starving toad
Though surely he's slowed
To a speedy tongue of a frog
Tree tops touching tenderly at the thick forest
As breeze blows blatantly ,birds and bees have no rest,
Whistling of wild wind ,wins over wood windows ,
At sea shore,subtle sun shines from surface sky,
Poised by placing pear plant on a good position for purchase,
Reactivated by rolling dust of sand which speeds on like
A cascade of cyclone chasing crown canopies of trees,
Desert dusts descended heavily ,dragging dandelion down.
Running as fast as I can, I am
But I can't keep up with myself
Just like Speedy Gonzales
My mind has really gone south
Must be something I can take no doubt
To slow the damn process down
Might end up in the loony bin
Or the clown of my old home town
Could be something I ate methinks
Known to try different stuff
Saw our Golden enjoying some plants
Weeds and dandelion puffs
So think I'll give it a shot my friends
My libido will likely speed up
I'll feel like a twenty year old again
Run around with all the young pups
Running as fast as I can, I am
But I can't keep up with myself
Better slow down I ain't young no more
Must take care of my health
© Jack Ellison 2015
The scream of the tree hewn down
Is drowned in the chainsaw sound.
In the silence afterwards
All is known
In the blood
On the ground.
The man across the court from me
Is going to hang
At this very moment, he looks straight at me
His eyes pleading, as if he already knows the end.
Others will decide, twelve will discuss
And reason
And argue
And hopefully soon
Decide.
The nature of his crime is to all mankind abhorrent
His just deserts are not enough, to our eyes
Snapping his neck is too quick for us, and shooting is not allowed
But if we could, we would unleash horrors unspeakable
And more.
The twelve return, and sit down with smiles
The man’s hands are white, like his face
In a monotone, the spokesman speaks
The man, his heart too weak
Before I can pass sentence,
Falls.
Without the rope
But quicker.
He played his riffs at break neck speeds so he never knew his parts
No woman knew his needs so he never sold his heart
Some say he sold his sold his soul laid away at Wal-Mart
He gets to start again but he doesn't know when to start
Speedy watchin t.v. on his radio
He's always turning the dial
Speedy watchin t.v. on the radio
Never listens never smiles
She prayed night and day that he'd be home to stay
He never needed her except when he needed laid
Now he's drunk again every night and day
And from Jack's grip he'll never get away
Speedy watchin t.v. on his radio
He's always turning the dial
Speedy watchin t.v. on the radio
Never listens never smiles
Speedy watchin t.v. on his radio
He's always turning the dial
Speedy watchin t.v. on the radio
Never listens never smiles
Cheetahs reach speeds of 75 miles an hour
Takes 4 seconds, to reach max, other animals cower
Anticipating a soiree
Chasing a cheetah fillay
After the said encounter, they really need a shower
Watching from the corner, in her ‘Speedy’ ice cream van
While armed and hooded villains carry out their wicked plan
They rob the bank and make off just as quickly as they can
But Speedy does a wheelie at the hands of Turbo Gran
One robber floors the pedal and one winds his window down
To shoot up their pursuer as they hurtle out of town
But Speedy’s armour plated and its glass is bullet proof
Old Turbo had that fitted when a bullet took her tooth
So now she takes no prisoners as she races up the street
In pursuit of all the bad guys whom she cannot wait to meet
And when a handbrake turn gyrates the villain’s car around
Turbo Gran brakes sharply with a tyre screeching sound
Then, like some Wild West stand-off where no cowboy goes for it
Everything is silent… until Speedy starts to split
The split goes up the windscreen then it runs from front to back
And then there is a high pitched ‘Ding’ as Speedy’s two halves crack
The gap between them widens as the ice cream van unzips
And Turbo Gran stands leaning on her Zimmer’s rubber grips
Out of the car, two robbers undo violin case clips
While Turbo calmly munches on a dozen chocolate chips
Turbo Gran, in mask and cape, is gazing at the heavens
Not staring down the barrels of the AK47s
One villain speaks, ‘Hey Granny, I suggest you make your peace’
Then both of them are flattened by the two crash-landing geese
Sirens fast approaching, mean that Turbo Gran should exit
A grannie in a mask and cape… well… nobody expects it
Her Zimmer’s on her shoulder as she strides back to the van
The halves slam shut and Speedy nips off like a rocket man
*
Turbo Gran is rocking in her chair, facing the tele
She wonders if twelve chocolate chips were just a few too many
For when those geese crashed from the sky like massive feathered arrows
She had to face it, she was shocked… she’d meant to bring down sparrows
our mama duck is not like the others
the other mamas glide like sailboats
she drags us around faster than a jet ski
because she is a Gemini daddy says
One summer day Speedy Gonzales
met a very sweet girl named Alice
she liked his big yellow sombrero
it complemented her little bolero