Ice Cream Gran 3 - Testing Speedy

Watching from the corner, in her ‘Speedy’ ice cream van While armed and hooded villains carry out their wicked plan They rob the bank and make off just as quickly as they can But Speedy does a wheelie at the hands of Turbo Gran   One robber floors the pedal and one winds his window down To shoot up their pursuer as they hurtle out of town But Speedy’s armour plated and its glass is bullet proof Old Turbo had that fitted when a bullet took her tooth   So now she takes no prisoners as she races up the street In pursuit of all the bad guys whom she cannot wait to meet And when a handbrake turn gyrates the villain’s car around Turbo Gran brakes sharply with a tyre screeching sound   Then, like some Wild West stand-off where no cowboy goes for it Everything is silent… until Speedy starts to split The split goes up the windscreen then it runs from front to back And then there is a high pitched ‘Ding’ as Speedy’s two halves crack   The gap between them widens as the ice cream van unzips And Turbo Gran stands leaning on her Zimmer’s rubber grips Out of the car, two robbers undo violin case clips While Turbo calmly munches on a dozen chocolate chips Turbo Gran, in mask and cape, is gazing at the heavens Not staring down the barrels of the AK47s One villain speaks, ‘Hey Granny, I suggest you make your peace’ Then both of them are flattened by the two crash-landing geese Sirens fast approaching, mean that Turbo Gran should exit A grannie in a mask and cape… well… nobody expects it Her Zimmer’s on her shoulder as she strides back to the van The halves slam shut and Speedy nips off like a rocket man * Turbo Gran is rocking in her chair, facing the tele She wonders if twelve chocolate chips were just a few too many For when those geese crashed from the sky like massive feathered arrows She had to face it, she was shocked… she’d meant to bring down sparrows