Best Slobs Poems

If guns don’t kill people 
Why are so many people dead
Another moms child 
shot in the head
Blackboards white chalk
splattered in Red
A teacher killed
For something she...

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#1 
Put the toilet seat down. 
What woman wants to end up falling into the toilet in the middle of the night?

#2 
Stop changing the...

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We gave Johnny a gun and a uniform
Trained him to kill, in a regiment conform
Sent him deep into Vietnam jungles warm
With little regard to how...

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The see-saw backsides of obesity traverse across the promenade
  Led by bustling torpedo breasts thrusting through the hustling throng;
Past tarnished chromium espresso bars, burger...

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Getting Lost in Peace

When a man loses his bearings
In a land of riches and honey
He sometimes loses sight of life’s tribulations
Spoiled to the core he...

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Well perhaps I should talk about foreclosure,
Let’s see, at first as it begins to happen
 it feels like your life is being flattened
By a big...

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Despairing all the popular belief
We are working for your relief
Creating millions of jobs
To pacify all you slobs
Oh, and don't believe what you read...

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Hawk-teuchin   -   spitting up phlegm
Nimmer            -   dinner
Gundie-guts ...

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Lonely people in a crowd, lonely people all around
People chatting everywhere, sounds of laughter fill the air
Laughter loud throughout the room, loud pulsating empty sound
Inconsequential...

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Sometimes I feel like such a jerk
To hear friends talk of long lost work
Few leave their homes
All had good jobs
From nine to five
Just working slobs
When...

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Hold it jumping knife
Lead me now 
Off pride quality resembling stationary trains 
Under velvet willows 
xylem yields Zephaniah 
Angelic baritone can decorate 
Everything from giants...

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Goodness Gracious!
My classmates are all hot messes,
They all managed to get cookie crumbs
all over their dresses,
They have warped into little monsters!
Attacking snacks as if they...

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In the great scheme of life, many choices you make,
Where to work, who to date, your yard when to rake.

The game of hearts is not...

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College Tuition Goes Up and Up

By Elton Camp

There is hardly any college that even tries
To find a way it can reasonably economize
With their plans it...

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Within the pages of a book
I find sanctuary, a quiet nook,
Where I often retreat and find
The kindest heart, the vilest mind.

Whenever I just feel like...

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