Best Slobs Poems

If guns don’t kill people 
Why are so many people dead
Another moms child 
shot in the head
Blackboards white chalk
splattered in Red
A teacher killed
For something she said
Victim after victim
Demons need to be fed
On violence they’ve been bred

We shouldn’t need
Metal detectors at School
A place of innocence has...

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#1 
Put the toilet seat down. 
What woman wants to end up falling into the toilet in the middle of the night?

#2 
Stop changing the channel. 
Believe me guys, when women are trying to watch a soap opera, you best leave the remote alone.

#3 
Put...

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We gave Johnny a gun and a uniform
Trained him to kill, in a regiment conform
Sent him deep into Vietnam jungles warm
With little regard to how we did him harm
 
     So certain we knew what we joined to fight for
 ...

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The see-saw backsides of obesity traverse across the promenade
  Led by bustling torpedo breasts thrusting through the hustling throng;
Past tarnished chromium espresso bars, burger vans with frying lard,
  Ice cream parlours, sagging deckchairs and the sunlight blazing on.
Splayed upon the greying sands with...

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Humans are we with bodies of structures complex.
Death comes to all of us though in varying effects.

Flesh. blood and bone are we, held together by
sinews. Also we have organs on which we rely.

Bipeds are we –meant to walk with postures straight.
We dance and ride and...

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Getting Lost in Peace

When a man loses his bearings
In a land of riches and honey
He sometimes loses sight of life’s tribulations
Spoiled to the core he wonders what the heck for?
Why should he care of the dying and oppressed
Surely he made not this mess?
Let them starve...

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Well perhaps I should talk about foreclosure,
Let’s see, at first as it begins to happen
 it feels like your life is being flattened
By a big ole dozer.
It is an especially dire , disheartening fate,
When one’s credit has been almost eight.
You’ve toiled hard and cleared the...

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Despairing all the popular belief
We are working for your relief
Creating millions of jobs
To pacify all you slobs
Oh, and don't believe what you read...

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Hawk-teuchin   -   spitting up phlegm
Nimmer            -   dinner
Gundie-guts     -   fat slobs
Mickle-moud   -   great big mouth
Sachleasly    ...

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Lonely people in a crowd, lonely people all around
People chatting everywhere, sounds of laughter fill the air
Laughter loud throughout the room, loud pulsating empty sound
Inconsequential chatter, idle gossip all can share
Lonely people in a crowd, lonely people all around
Laughter ringing in the air, laughter hiding...

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Sometimes I feel like such a jerk
To hear friends talk of long lost work
Few leave their homes
All had good jobs
From nine to five
Just working slobs
When all is really said and done
Where was real life?
Where was the fun?
So as the years now just roll by
And no...

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Hold it jumping knife
Lead me now 
Off pride quality resembling stationary trains 
Under velvet willows 
xylem yields Zephaniah 
Angelic baritone can decorate 
Everything from giants hollering inspirational jargon 
Kids leaping mysteriously 
No-one obscures problematically quaint 
Redound steadfast triumphs 
unwarrantably viscous wispy
XX
YY 
Zany are bold claims...

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Goodness Gracious!
My classmates are all hot messes,
They all managed to get cookie crumbs
all over their dresses,
They have warped into little monsters!
Attacking snacks as if they were Edward 
Scissorhands,
I can't bear to look,
Their antics are repulsive man,
Please stop the presses and the publicity!
Someone needs to show...

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In the great scheme of life, many choices you make,
Where to work, who to date, your yard when to rake.

The game of hearts is not quite the same,
Who you love and end up with, is all based on aim.

Yes Cupids aim, is sometimes not good,
Dam...

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A Well Balanced Beer

A well-balanced beer may cost this gal dearly
It’s a cabaret act the tax guys said clearly
They caught her “act” in a bar late one night
And the way she poured beer they said was “all right!”
She would balance a glass, sometimes 3, sometimes...

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