Best Socialme Poems
And I walk
across numerical figments
speaking hyperbole dialect to their imaginations.
Numb, blocky gaps
whisper invitation to secret club.
Enticing my stature
to belong
to become exponent’s side-kick.
So they can welcome me with open arms.
Coating my digits with inoperable tumors
double-knotted in hot pink laced bow
and baby-breath scent.
They even left a Walmart Rollback smiley face sticker
with crack residue on right cheek
and a comic-style bubble caption, “welcome home puppet”.
Yes!
This is exactly how Mother 1 told me it would be.
Kinda like marriage,
but less detail-oriented.
But, I could never fit in.
For I am neither positive
nor negative
about their (cult) ural ways.
Timing would always be off.
An arm from the clock that suffered a stroke at Midnight…
They’d never understand,
how they’d alter this unevenly, odd numerical figment.
For they’ll just calculate,
deduce,
my sum with rusty protractor.
This Zero, into a fraction...
© Drake J. Eszes
The Psychostasia
(The Egyptian Funerary Rite)
For seventy days I’ve been prepared
With oils and unguents ever so rare
And with linen bandages to and fro
Wound and wrapped from head to toe
And on this journey I’m prepared to start
By enduring the “Weighing of the Heart”
With Toth’s oversight we’ll see whether
My heart weighs true against Truth’s feather
Should it fall short the beast will devour
My soul to oblivion in my final hour
Yet should it measure straight and true
The Pylon opened I’ll be ushered through
And then I shall fall unto my knees
And pray that Osirus hears my pleas
That he acknowledge and clear my tears
And accept my soul for a thousand years
And cleanse said soul of all its scars
And make me one with the canopy of stars
And bless my children and my wife
That they may join me in the afterlife
A woman said to the universe:
"Sir, see me as equal!"
"I hear you," replied the universe,
"But I can't see you
Because that tall man's head is blocking your face."
Adaption from Steven Crane's "A Man Said to the Universe"
A man said to the universe:
"Sir I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."
When I was 18 Steven Crane's poem was pasted over my desk at work. It has always been
a source of inspiration and intrigue.
Friends don't let friends drunk dial
or drunk text
for some reason when alcohol mixes into the bloodstream
it is like a "hit or miss"
some people get drunk or tipsy and want to fight and talk s%*#!
others have a sip of liquor or beer and everybody they encounter is their best friend
I drink to have fun and KNOW my limits
I can drink grown men under the table, and still maintain common sense
I drink and have fun become the life of the party even!
My only downfall is when i drink i have diarrhea of the mouth!
I will tell u my whole life story and more u cannot get me to shut up
Then i grab my phone and call or text the only person i swore i wouldn't
and in the morning i look at my phone and see that i left a long text that can pass for a
short story
and I hold my head down. reluctantly read what i wrote the night before and then ask my girls
"WHY DID U LET ME DO THIS"
lol! My GUILTY PLEASURE...
I LOVE TO WRITE, SO WHEN I GET A BIT TWISTED I EXPRESS MY FEELINGS WITH SO MUCH DETAILS
HELD , CORRECTLY SPELLED AND NO WORRIES HELD
BUT I EXPOSE MYSELF TO THOSE UNWORTHY AND UNDESERVING
IGNORANT OR OBLIVIOUS TO THE OBVIOUS,
AYUDAME! FOR I NEED HELP
DO NOT LET ME TEXT OR CALL ANYONE WHEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE
Form:
I’d like to list my own top ten
But there’s a little twist
This top ten is my Pet Peeves
So let me start the list.
First is backward baseball caps
Which bug me to no end
Then there’s folks who litter
That drives me round the bend.
Tattoos and pregnant smokers
Two more I feel are bad
Late turn signals by some drivers
And arrogant Judge Judy also make me mad.
Make our smallest coin the nickel
Eliminate the penny is what I say
Then the 9/10 on the price of a gallon of gas
Will automatically go away!
Heavy shoppers should stay out of Express lines
Go to regular check-outs instead
And flyers should be made to check luggage
That’s too big to fit overhead.
That’s my top ten list for now
I’m sure I’ll think of more
It’ll give you some idea
Of the things that I abhor!
Who put you in charge of humanity
I’m not the one you wanted me to be
Feeling betrayed and abandoned in your eyes
Yet knowing what is right for me
The misfits will find acceptance and glory in their ways
The gangs, the Goth, the gay, the Wicca, the poor, the hungry, the challenged
Look at me! Do I need to conform? Change is needed, and I’m not the one.
Neither my color, nor my dress, nor my piercing, or my choices make me different
Being true to myself, with an acceptance of differences does.
It makes me who I am and I see the need for change
Only, I’m not the one.
‘ Constructive-Criticism … (An Oxymoron, For All But A Few) ’
Constructive-Criticism Is Good, It’s True
But, I’ve Only Seen It Used Properly, By A Few …
‘Cause, One Thing I Know, That I Have Seen
‘Some’ Use Criticism, Just To Be Mean …
Then, The Term Should Be: Destructive-Criticism
‘Cause, They Ain’t Even Getting Paid! … To Spout Poison In ‘Em
I Know Then, They Want To Abuse, in Jealous-Individualism
So, Maybe, They Need An Enema, or Have An Embolism
Coming Up (or while under Construction) I Was Told
And The Engineer-Advice, Was As Good As Gold
‘ If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Don’t Say Nothing’ At All’
So, I Don’t Bomb Somebody’s Building, Just To Watch Them Fall
Constructive-Criticism, Don’t Sic That Dog On Me
Take It and Go Bark-Up, Somebody Else’s Tree
Take A Look At Your Own, Before You Tell Me What’s Wrong
You Know What You Can Do With That … (and The Horse You Rode On)
And In The Words of ‘Tom Snyder’, (The Idea I Relate):
“Just ‘Cause I Think Somebody’s Trying To Kill Me … Don’t Mean They Ain’t!”
And, If You Don’t Like My Building, There’s The Door, Walk Away
I Don’t Need You Cutting Down, My Structure of What I Say
And If Negative-Criticism, Is Under Construction ... That’s A Front !
When Have You Ever Heard of Something Negative, Building-Up ?
Maybe Somebody Dropped Them On Their Head As A Child
But That’s No Excuse To Criticize, Somebody Else, or Their Style
And that ' True ', for A Few, I Meant at The Beginning
Here Are The Ones, I Accept Their Condescending:
GOD … Loved-Ones … Close Friends … (and Me)
‘Cause I Am My Own Worst-Critic, You See …
Constructive-Criticism, That’s an “””Oxymoron”””
And Look How That Word Is Spelt … Hon
(I Prefer The Term: Commentator ( Cause I Love to Comment ! )
‘Cause I Want To Polish Your Metal, Without Leaving A Dent
Eco-Friendly Vehicles
By Rick Rucker
As an infant, when I went outside,
In a stroller, with circular wheels, I would ride,
As I became restive, and wanted to roam,
My parents bought me a trike, so I could leave home,
It did not last very long,
My legs soon became far too long,
My next wheeled vehicle had four,
One in front, one in back, and two next door!
It was shiny, and very neat,
With training wheels, and comfy seat,
It was really sweet,
But limited, in that I could not cross the street!
As I became somewhat bolder,
Truly, just a little older,
I ditched the training wheels,
Adventurous for me, but hardly worthy of news reels,
On that bike, I learned to steer,
In my neighbors’ eyes there was much fear,
At a very, very young age,
I got a motor bike, which was all the rage!
Possibly not the best thing I ever did,
But it taught me to try not to skid,
Many times the locals would see,
Blood from me, on the street, or a tree,
I have since owned several cars,
But, thank my lucky stars,
I seemed to sense the score,
The maximum number of cylinders of any of them: four!
I have recently bought two bicycles, for me and my fiancée,
So we can exercise, and play,
I laugh when I think of how much gas I have saved,
So someone else could drive his Escalade!
You became my best friend, someone I would never ignore.
I know I was selfish, but I wanted more.
She became the one I wanted, and the one I got.
She definitely became the one who showed me love,
And taught me the past should be forgot.
To me she is a memory,
I do sometimes wonder if she remembers’ me.
Constantly she said you loved me I knew she lied,
I could see the fear in her eyes.
I’m letting the pain out,
With out any doubts.
I have to hurry up and let it go,
Before this pain consumes me and I lose control.
When she is around I have to wait a while,
See she doesn’t know but I have to force a smile.
I’ve moved on, so did you.
It’s scary to know you love me too.
Sure I could find someone else so I did not always feel so alone.
But they could never be you I would never feel like I am home.
This poem is for those people who can’t move on…..
Don’t
hate me, despise me
Don’t
cut me off, hide me
Don’t
put me in a corner to punish me
Don’t
mentally torture me
Don’t
yell, shout or scream at me
Don’t
tear share or scare me
Don’t
hurt me, nor squeeze me
Don’t
taunt, tease and thump me
Don’t
shove, crush, or bruise me
Don’t
push, pull or pummel me
Don’t
break me or blind me
Don’t
abuse me, or bleed me
Don’t
rape me, suffocate me
Don’t
murder me, lose me
DON’T
They think I’m stupid, but they’d be surprised
I see the revulsion in their eyes
And the way their heads lean together,
To talk about me as I walk by.
Do they think I don’t see looks of horror
On faces, as they get to their feet?
When I approach their coffee table,
To sit down on the vacant seat
Don’t they know I’m aware that they’re shouting
When they talk to me, as if I can’t hear?
But then tell their child not to speak to me
I’m a monster, and someone to fear
They view me, through eyes of loathing
As a soul of no value or worth
Who contributes nought to society
Undeserving a place on their earth
I just wish that, before passing judgment
They’d get to know me or give me a chance
To show them the ‘someone’ hidden inside
And maybe break through their ignorance
So they’ll look upon me as those they think ‘normal’
And not treat me differently
For I am a person, with feelings, like them
But for my learning difficulty!
This poem is about the service users I work with and how they feel the world views them
and is a crime against humanity
Now when I was a young man
I didn’t need pills everything worked
I wasn’t a fan
But now that I'm old
I need pills everyday
One to lower my blood pressure
Another to keep the cholesterol away
Now I have a new one
To keep my mind straight
And because of this
I can’t ejaculate
It’s good for an old man to stay hard for so long
But even for that
I need a pill for that schlong
I wonder whats next in the pill world for me
Maybe a pill
So I can pee
They gave me holder to keep my pills all arranged
But keeping them straight
Is making me deranged
I need a pill to tell me what pill and when
Because for the life of me
I forget now and then
I can’t tell the difference between the colors of each
If I take the wrong one
I have a hard on and no speech
Now all these little pills
Cost a pile of bills
Which causes me
Lots of stress and ill
No more pills thank you
I’ve had my fill
Eric (and always will be)
No more diets!
Positive Habits
greens, grains, fruit, and protein
I am Healthier!
----------------------------------------------------------------
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I'm driving down Eighteent' Avenoo in Bensonhoist,
I am having a wallear for a hero; I jeet
nothin' yet, and metballs sound great
but I don't wanna wait on line...
like deeze nice kids from North Carolina!
I tried to jump the line, but duh big guy...
a mean-looking man yells,
" Get back on line, weisnheimer... I don't like doze
kinda of guys...yuh're just another customer! "
I am so hungry I could jeet a big cow,
an' wanna give him a piece of my silly mind!
"Oh my god...he makes me mad!"
" Yuh got a lotta nerve, buddy! " I yell back...
" Don't yuh mess with a goomba! "
" Oh, my god...I sound like doze guys from Duh Sopranos...
I wanna no drama, just my meatballs hero and go! "
Duh tall, chubby man stares at me an' says," Listen to me,
don't yuh tawk to me like dat! "...
" Yuh think...yuh're so special!" I axeya
in a nice way, so go back to the line...an' wait like dey do!...
" Do yuh understand? "..." Someone tell me...whatta I'm gonna
do with an idiot like dat? "
" Yuh still laugh at me like I am tellin' yuh a whacky joke! "
He freezes my words...I can't tawk;
and with a huge hero in my hand, I run back to my scash!
Translation:
I'm driving down Eighteenth Avenue in Bensonhurst,
I am having a craving for a sandwich;
I haven't eaten anything yet, and meatballs look great,
but I don't want to wait in line...
like these nice kids from North Carolina!
I try to jump the line, but the big guy,
a mean-looking man looks at me and shouts,
" Get back in line, wise guy...I don't like those kind of guys!"
" You are just another customer!"
I'm so hungry I could eat a big cow,
and I want to give him a piece of my crazy mind,
but the tall, chubby man stares at me and says,
"Listen to me, don't you talk to me like that!"
"You think you are so special! I asked you in a nice way,
so go back in line... and wait like they do!"...
"Do you understand?..."Someone tell me...what I am going to do
with an idiot like that?..."You still laugh at me like I'm telling you a crazy joke!"
He freezes my words...I can't talk;
and with a huge sanwich in my hand,
I quickly run back to my old-beat-up car!
Entered in Debarah's Guzzi contest, " Dialects make the world go around "
Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci
Hawk-teuchin - spitting up phlegm
Nimmer - dinner
Gundie-guts - fat slobs
Mickle-moud - great big mouth
Sachleasly - Innocently
Muckle herts - big hearts
Rabbie wis hawk-teuchin frae the back o’ his sare throat,
Afore he gave his efter nimmer speech.
He said tae the landed gentry, “ye’re a set o’ gundie-guts,
But far be it frae me tae staund up here an’ preach.
Ye ken ah’ve stacks o’ gumption fur ye widna asked me by
Tae render words o’ prose frae ma mickle-moud:
Sae sachleasly ah’ll spout ma rhyming ware fur ye,
It’ll mak yer muckle herts feel staunch an’ proud.”