Best Slamming Poems
you want to know a secret
when I write a poem and it's perfect
i dont share it
i bury it
deep inside of me
where no one else can see
i mean its perfect
not like this shift
it's elegant, poignant,
simplistic, bueatful
trucking perfect
its not erotic
but i read it
mentally masterbate to it
a euphoric chorus
straight form thesaurus
its just that great
im not being egotistical
if read, it would become universal
a meter tethered in clasical measure
a rythmic flow
with many metaphoric undertows
an iconic harmonic tonic
to make you feel like an embryonic hedonic youth
im not being napoleonic
its an actual truth
factually accurate
high in heaven
it produced a tear in the eye of god
who proclaimed
not a single flaw
not a single flaw
and he only saw what i wrote
well, because hes god
me being me i like to tease
allow me to be inclined to share a few lines
blow your mind
redefine your collective defective perspective
realign your ineffective respective connective tisue
"all my cows milk is homogenized
all my crows are well organized
all my sheep like to stare and creep
like to stare and creep"
but you'll never see
the rest of my secret poetry
that only exsist inside of me
cows will always moo
crows will always ka kah
sheep will always go baah baah baah
and the perfect elagance
of my literary inteligence
will die with me
never being seen
qouted, memorised or plagerized
as i will say with my last gasp
the next line being twice my last
all you super-duper-soupers can kiss my ***
ok all you super-duper-soupers have been slammed. if you want to slam me back just a few things. make it funny. make it a little nonsensical and definitly make it over the top
and if you do slam me back send me a soup mail or leave a comment so i can go read your slam.
Seems like I could be on top of the world.
I think about poetry like my tongue is pearled.
Just the other day I wrote a poem to honor another poet.
I spun around in a spin to unfurl to the Soupers whorled.
I know they think they’re the bombshell.
They are big headed and believe their words cast the spell.
They vortex puts us in a whirlpool.
They billow swells.
Soupers let’s keep it real.
The universe zeal.
We entertain each other with our thoughts.
Poetry is our appeal.
We write to regale.
Anything else considered is to no avail.
I laugh aloud.
Soupers the advantage is a tall tale.
I am here to share-out.
That there is such a thing as an amateur in the house.
I know many fill the title of a poet professional.
This is where real skills are grandeur and profound.
Soupers, the truth expose.
A writer’s right shows.
Angstrom to a wavelength, the brain thinks and the mind depicts.
As a Poetess, here I throw it to the wind; that it is you with the *******.
To the Souper who asked for a rebuttal to his slam.
__________________________________________________________________|
Penned February 18, 2015!
Everyone in the soup chant my name, because I'm bringing another poetic attack.
Ryan, you've had your 5 minutes of fame, now I'm breaking your poetic back!
So you need to be realistic, read your slam, then read mine.
I'm what people call "futuristic," because I'm a poetic Einstein!
I told you in a soup mail, when it comes to slamming, there's no competition!
P.D. has you under her spell, like she's programming an air=condition!
See I know why you stepped to the plate, you were looking for some recognition.
So your poetry I'll gladly annihilate, with your mother P.D.'s permission.
Why bother to even retaliate after my slam's left you in such a condition?
With your poetry you can't intimidate, because you haven't enough ammunition!
I hate a poet who thinks they're good when they really could use some practice.
If I could, I would beat you silly with a Texas cactus!
This isn't right of me, but Ryan you must not have had a clue,
That my slam poetry will utterally consume you....
Engulf you in a poetic inferno, and leave you a smoldering heap!
What-do-you-know!? It's a T.K.O.! And I've put Ryan to sleep!!!!
Note: This is why I don't want to slam with you, No offense, but I have to focus on your idol
P.D. So run back to her with your tail between your legs and tell her my filing cabinet is full
and ready;)
Look me in the eye
Get off your phone
I heard you sigh
Now don’t you lie
I see you texting me
I know you know that I can see
No I won’t read just tell me
Jiggling with laughter
Your not that funny
Look me in the face
Don’t drive away
Why don’t you stay
Put that cell away
Your taking me off
Your friends and family
Well what a shame
Perhaps we can meet instead
Have a nice lunch
Talk to me
Learn from me
Don’t scoff at me
I see you cough at me
Don’t choke on your words
Those I can’t hear
Get off the phone
Your ready to steer
Finally you put down the phone
What to talk about
I have nothing to say
Just want to stare into your pretty blues
Why you rolling them that way
I'm going for an alley-oop, dunking on your head like "Shaq"
Home court advantage here on the soup, and I'm ducking and dodging your wack
attack!
I'm spraying you with a "fade-away jumper," kinda like "Kobe."
You are trash that belongs in the dumpster, just like your poetry!
dakarai look up at the score board, my slams out number yours 3 to 1!
I've sliced and diced with my poetic sword, now I'm hitting you with my poetic gun.
Rat-a-tat-tat, bullets tear through your flesh and bone.
As your body hits the mat, give back your poetic skills you have on "loan!"
You have no meter or rhyme, and yet you continue to want ammo; For what?
Why waste your time? You must like this spanking across your butt!
Are you a "beat-freak?" Even our fellow soupers think you enjoy pain!
I know you're sweating my technique, and I have you addicted to my poetic cocaine!
Why do you look to battle on this particular site? There are other poetry sites ya
know.
You thought you could win an easy fight, but surprise, I'm the great great grandson
of Edgar Allen Poe!
That means dakarai, it is in my genes to be one of the best.
I've mastered this art, and so your heart I'm ripping out of your chest!
You were not born a rhyme slayer, so why challenge me?
So go ahead and say a prayer, because I'm leaving you an amputee!
I may seem obscene, but I'm diabolically mean like North Korea.
Before you feel my poetic guillotine, I'm injecting you with gonorrhea!
Note: I would like my fellow soupers to follow me and dakarai cobbs battle - dakarai
needs to know who is "PS slam champ" - This is my 3rd slam for him;) can a souper
please tell dakarai it is no contest. He is like one of the many hopefuls who audition
for American Idol truly believing they can sing - when they really can't! lol So dakarai
comment "openly" on this slam - letting me know "I'm P.S. slamming champ" J.A.
(The Poetic Warlock)
I am dreaming
I am fantasizing
On how I want to put them in your face
Oh! Nate, my fate,
they are a set
I use for bait.
Just sit down,
have some coffee.
No need to talk,
tell me if you like what you see
Give me the wrong look,
and I will slap you with thee.
Okay King Mandalay,
It's with me you want to play.
Come on don't be shy follow me inside.
Not a single word I want you to say
Now close your eyes while I go hide.
You are now in a game of hypnotized
Babe, do not expect a quick ride
I will take you on my wild surprise
If you tag me, you can have me.
We can play another game of slip and slide
King of mine I only want to play my way.
Lets forget about everything,
Lets enjoy a slam bam you started today.
I enjoyed the tapping of your ding.
With your words that took my breath away.
How about you toss an awesome E-mail
Explain what about me you want to nail
Okay My Sweet now its time to sleep
By morning time, you will rise and shine.
Awaken with my set upon your face.
Oh ! Yes I am going to make you mine.
Before I have to leave your place.
One more time I give you permission to climb.
And finish invading my private space
Now I am done fooling .
Why are you still drooling
Time for you to get some cooling.
Why are you stalling.
I already gave you more than a smoke.
Tell you what
Continue to keep your mouth shut.
Something with you must be up.
Go ahead lets start over,
No need for you to be a big shot.
I will be nice to the roll of the dice.
To see who ends up on top. ((cq+cq))
By: P.D.
**Here you go my sweet Nathan D., **
. ((cq+cq))
Thanks for grabbing me a "RED BULL,"
because I don't like the way your slams taste.
The creativity in my head stays full,
and your poetry is such a waste!
"PLAYBOY," you got that right,
at least that's what your girlfriend called me.
I let her go because of her overbite,
plus I heard you gave her an S.T.D.!
"KILL BILL?"
Which volume you suggest I read?
I mastered my poetic skill -
So just follow my lead!
No need to "read,"
When I studied the moves in the movie.
I'm giving you a nosebleed,
and like AUSTIN POWERS, that's "GROOVIE!"
I read your lame comment,
'you're just getting started?'
Your ego smells like vomit,
or more like you farted!
You say "LOSER" wil be attached to my name.
But what will "you" be when I literally tear-your-ass-out-the-frame?!
See, it's about "word-play," and "punch lines" that make a "slam."
For example: I'm sacrificing you on my poetic pentagram!
Stupid white boy, have you ever listened to "Hip-Hop?"
or did you learn about "rhyme battles" from your desk top?
Clearly you have no clue, nor have you ever listened tp "Rap."
I wish I could grab a-hold of you and show you a "bit#h slap!"
See here on the "soup" no one cares, we stand all alone.
So before I kill you, tell me what you'd like engraved on your tombstone!
Soupers see "slam" as childish poetry, like "polution" if you will.
These slams between you and me, they don't care who has the skill!
The average souper is "50 + years old," so they could care less!
These poets don't care if I put you in a choke hold, and make you walk around in a
mini dress!
Soupers soupmail me and say you don't belong, that your poetry is "dumpster-juice!"
You've done nothing necessarily wrong, it's just your rhymes are poetic abuse!
But I see you have a cheerleader on your side,
Or is he your "boyfriend?"
You and Chris are like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
- setting a new trend!
Chris said it was a "LOW-BLOW,"
talking about your "mom."
But Chris stop following the "rainbow"
and swallowing "napalm;)"
continued in part 2 of Slam 6
Soupers quiet down, quiet down, dakarai cobb is in for a shock.
I'm gonna smash this clown, so let me metamorphose into the Poetic Warlock.
Soupers put your hands in the air, and chant my name to the sky.
You poets can tell by my demonic stare; dakarai is about to die!!
Give "you" some ammo? dakarai, a true slammer would have his gun cocked and
loaded!
You are such a "lame-o," for I read your comment - clearly noted.
Soupmail after soupmail you begged for a piece of the Poetic Warlock.
But a certain poetess had me under her spell, because of what she did to my c#$k!
You are not a worthy opponent for me, because I only battle the best.
I know you intend to "bite" my poetry, for you notice how I do in each contest!
Matter of fact, do you ever win? Do you ever "place?"
Let me show you my diabolical pen, and what I will do to your face!
First I will staple your lips, then super glue your eyes shut.
I will strangle you with a bullwhip, but not before I kick your poetic butt!
Dude this slam is giving me a raging hardon, tell your girlfriend I said "Hey"
I gave her the nickname "Jaw-bone" and still have her purple negligee.
You called my open challenge a joke, dakarai you just have no clue.
My poetic gun will smoke, and I'll gladly annihilate you!
My poetic vault is filled to capacity, and after I'm done, I'm sending you to the electric
chair!
You have the audacity to ask for ammo for your gun - punk you're not even ready for
warfare!
You're a child playing a grown mans game, and I'm putting you in checkmate.
These soupers are chanting my name, and your "head" they wanna see me
decapitate!
I will take off your ugly head, and defecate down your throat.
You will end up dead fighting a poetic heavyweight, and there is no antidote!
Note: I will enjoy slamming you back to back to back - can you keep up? After I'm
done with you, you'll end up cutting your wrists. lol
I'm making this a special affair, so soupers, chant my name.
This site is about to witness a poetic warfare, my favorite game!
My words will be like bombs over Baghdad, the couplets like an airstrike.
With this pen and pad, I'm metamorphosing into something godlike!
What? You can't comprehend? Don't understand what I plainly write?
I thought you were a genuine friend, but you're just a poetic parasite!
I'm gonna slam you till you leave the soup, so you need to "kick rocks."
I'm throwing you in a chicken coop, and manifesting into the poetic warlock!
So like 50 cents "I'll get the magic stick," so what you think about that?
How bout if I sex you like a lunatic, but first shave that hairy pussycat!
Better yet, you need to wax, because your hair gives you a helluva odor.
Never mind, I'll put anthrax on your tampax, and blow up your stinkin motor!
Damn someone throw in the towel, I have this poetess punch drunk!
She has this whole site smelling foul, so I need to kill this nasty skunk!
Have I embarrassed you yet? Are you tired of my poetic abuse?
I'm gonna bend you over and burn you with a cigarette right on your caboose!
Every souper knows I'm slam king, no one can touch my rhyming skills.
For a souvenir, I'm keeping your g-string - so run naked and head for the hills!
I better not see you posting, or I'll degrade each poem you write.
Your poems will be like marshmellows roasting, and I'll reach out to you via satelite!
*M. T. Now let me show you "God's among men with this pen!"
- Can I get a standing ovation for this slam?
Ding. Ding. Goes the sound of the bell.
Soupers see a poetic king emerge from his cell...
You called me a "Whorelock" - define that word punk?!
You're in for a shock - I don't entertain poetic junk!
I see you're using "caps" to capitalize certain words.
Tell your "girl" to give back my jockstrap before I tell the soupers what I heard!
That's right dakarai cobb. she said she can't stand your "small size."
Your girlfriend gives one helluva head job, but that's no surprise!
Only the Poetic Warlock can say, "hocus, pocus."
I'll slap "you" so hard, your "grandma's" eyesight will go out of focus!
I laughed silly boy, after I read, "Jimmy's first reality check."
In this prison, you'll be someone's toy, walking around with hickies on your neck!
Come on now you poetic thug, you've never been in a fight in your life!
In this prison you'll be smashed like a bug, or become "big bubba's" wife!
I'm a real life "head-buster," I've just learned to control my anger.
lil' boy, my life could be a blockbuster, for I'm an ex-gangbanger!
You don't believe me silly, just call Maury Correctional Facility!
In case you didn't know, it's public info, so check my credibility!
I wish I could have you all alone in this here cell.
I'd rip your weak heart from your breastbone and send you to hell!
I'm sending you a message telepathically, trying to make your brain explode.
I want to destroy you mentally, and then tie you to a railroad!
I want to inject you with HIV, and watch you choke on your own tongue.
I want to blow you apart with some TNT, and then lay your "pieces" in animal dung!
dakarai be serious, what other poetic forms do you write?
I'm just curious; for "soupers" have said you're just a poetic parasite!
Yes, I stay in the "soups winner circle" religiously.
Don't be upset with me because poets appreciate my poetry!
Yes, the "top 50 best poets" list, when will I see "you" on there?
"Soupers" say you don't exist, but that is true "after" this poetic warfare!
*Now I see why P.D. chose to totally ignore you.
For I've left you an amputee, and now I've injected you with swine flu!
Ok, this is gonna be a poetic airstrike, like it was over Baghdad.
I've been told my slams are god-like, and dakarai, you're being slayed on my writing
pad!
I've done ripped out your heart, now I'm removing your guts.
I'm blowing your whole being apart, but first, take this upper cut!
I want you to feel my poetic blow, but you should not be in this ring.
So soupers, witness this poetic TKO, and I'm giving P.D. back her g-string!
That's right dakarai, I'm the soup playboy, just ask your girlfriend.
I had her bobbing her head with joy, but that was after I put something up her rear-
end!
When I'm done with you, you're gonna need one helluva band-aid.
I'm gonna beat you black and blue, then force feed you my poetic grenade!
dakarai you're a sneaky rat, who lurks in the shadows of this site.
My poetic gun goes rat-a-tat-tat, so take that, you poetic parasite!
What can you say about me? I'm on the "Top 50 best poets" list!
But I'm taking this beyond poetry, so here's my right fist!
Feel my raging energy, as I pop you like a cyst!
Don't go looking for P.D., she doesn't even exist!
I destroyed her whole identity, and now I will focus solely on you.
You'll soon see, I'm a demonic entity, and I'm kicking your ass like Kung Fu!
I'm not even taking a breath, have you had enough yet?
I will haunt you even after death, I see you're starting to sweat!
dakarai you've become my footstool, and I'm watching the sunset.
I'm making you look like a fool, and burning your ass with my cigarette!
Take this poetic dynamite, and boy don't you ever forget.
This isn't a pretty site, I have the sex tape of your mom on videocassette!
Ding, ding, it's the end of round two, I'll let you digest this.
Your poetry is pure doo-doo, and my next slam will throw you into the abyss!!!!
Note: dakarai cobb had enough yet, or do you continue ? Want to be the soup
laughingstock?
The sound of anger is a silent one,
Don’t you know?
A deaf tone ringing, Vibrating then nothing
An alliteration of explosive hollow emotions
Replete with intoxicating truths
Words exchanged broke these smiles
But are meaningless before doors slam
Slamee or slammer does it matter?
For after these doors slam
We say what we mean
Ronny Madonsela 22/09/2012
continued from part 1
dakarai says I lost all the slam battles I faced with Nate, Ryan, and P.D.
Is he seriously dumb as a box of rocks, or is it just the way he writes his poetry?
dakarai "news flash," you bum, did you ever read Nate, or Ryan's "no-meter rhyme?"
I had P.D. sucking my sugar plum, and Nate and Ryans slam was a poetic crime!
dakarai soupers can easily go back and read, so why blatantly lie?
Maybe in "your" confused "little head," these poets beat the poetic samurai.
dakarai why do I need to remind you what I did? - Didn't "you" call me an "Afro
samurai?"
I'm more poetically inclined than Billy the Kid, and because of your "prejudices" you
think I'd cry?
dakarai surprise! I'm not "black," I'm Hispanic and white!
I wish this could be more than a poetic attack, because whipping your sissy azz
would feel so right!
dakarai that's right, I want to physically fight - I wonder would you meet me in the
street?
You poetic parasite, my fist will be all you physically eat!
dakarai can you feel your toes as I close - I have your whole body numb like
novacain.
After you die and begin to decompose, I'll feed you to wolfrats to entertain!
dakarai your slams I shouldn't entertain, my fellow soupers expect more out of me.
But I fed you my poetic cocaine, now I have you addicted to my poetry!!
I tried to hold onto you but could not—
You slipped through my fingers as water will
When run through a sieve. And how like the plot
Of some dime-store pulp it all seems now -- shrill
Yet so furtive. I tried to be humble,
To seem nonchalant; but came off shallow,
Unfocused, both surprised when you’d grumble
And childishly petulant and callow,
I’m embarrassed to confess. Now you’ve left:
No chance now of reconciliation;
No excuses now, howsoever deft,
No third party’s neat adjudication
Can heal the rift between us anymore.
Nothing tastes so bitter as one’s own words,
Or punctuates quite like the slamming door,
No matter how tenaciously one girds
Oneself to bear the shock. Regret may well
Be futile, but it’s hard indeed to take--
Like some malignant fairy’s baleful spell
Which no consoling words can ever break.
NB: The word "not" in the first line is meant to be stressed.
They slam each other every day.
Tearing them apart in a sly way,
Truth I say, what a lie.
Political games cry.
Give them cement shoes, drop into bay.
Next election, vote for three blind mice,
They would fare better, than roll of dice.
Vote now for mystery.
Go down in history.
For they have no “tales-tails“, truths suffice.