Best Resenting Poems
“I don't paint dreams or nightmares, I paint my own reality.”
Frida Kahlo“
In the absence of love,
a childhood is shaped by the stars,
but when black smoke is the only impression in the light,
sorrows peel in soundless motions - slow burning.
When fate is sealed with a goodbye,
in an 'all I never asked for' moment,
the weight of fear appears as a niggling nightmare
in our personal book of dreams,
so we drift into an abyss of discarded destinies -
untamed we roam into a wildfire of lost souls.
I'm a silent knight unable
to suppress this wandering muse,
so I portray my darkness through rosewater ink,
which flows like a scarlet oasis of waterfalls,
merging into sapphire oceans of poetic heartbeats.
I blame my past for this saviour complex,
but battling demons has become my beautiful undoing.
Ugliness of sugar coated words,
hidden behind metaphorical daggers,
has engraved scars with unhealed wounds,
leading me upon a path resenting sealed emotions.
When nostalgic rain sings in sea shell whispers,
I wish I could hold the sun in my arms,
to stop me from pouring
in melancholic bleeding moonlight,
but my beloved's eyes resemble dandelion reveries,
reminding me of a fragrant bouquet of memories,
pleading to personify her in
petrichor perfumed poems.
Her scent resurrects my muse to life..
She always says:
"Never mind the moon, it's only a reminder of forgotten midnight promises."
How her heart is an island where my waves will eternally kiss her shores.
A sanctuary for my inner child to forever build sandcastles."
My destiny leads to the end of a rainbow,
which rests upon the ivory sands of her treasure -
where internal flames become calm.
My soul
is in purgatory,
settling in fading tunes
of suppressed silence,
swerving perpetually
amongst
smoky quartz silhouettes;
swiveling through
the
dimmed dungeon
to unraveling shadows
of yesterday’s destruction,
moving in s l o w motion~
rejoicing invisible
rainbow glows
in limitless devotion,
fugitively
resenting the shifting
season of faith~
I question the
treacherous torrents,
through
unorchestrated symphonies…
where do the tides of jealousy
crash and hide to grieve,
over untouched waves,
when it has washed
away compelling
wishes
lost in perfect storms?
For, sometimes,
when trembling
skies bleed black pearls,
upon these aching lungs,
I think of every
nameless ghost
that emanates
familiar fragrances:
convincing
my naive mind,
there’s no evil
even in darkness.
Although I’ve
seen tints of
turning leaves conversing
with tantalizing tears,
whilst this volcanic
heart is ransacked
and ruined,
d a n c i n g away from fears,
forging meaningless scribes,
in fragmented fortunes,
left as debris along the
forgotten fields of
rambling roses drenched
in remorseful rain.
And I stand in the
eye of cataclysmic cyclones~
exhaling the exhaustion,
as the wolf moon calls me,
above million
mourning mountains
in musical misery.
Yet, when cosmic curtains
sequinned with
scarlet sapphires
of midnight skies
drizzle drops
of hibiscus heaven onto the
pages of my poetic haven,
I sketch stars in the shape
of magical w i n g s..
across cursed horizons,
to soothe my
troubled thoughts:
as it’s all in my head,
the
demonic devils dressed
in dragonfly
dust to deceive me,
unaware of how
I’ve been
blindfolded by
the brutal lies
I’ve told myself
in alienated expressions,
that the normal
can never neutralize.
TAJ MAHAL
In this October day, as usual,
Late in reaching fulfillments
Memoried paths resenting familiarity
Historied tracks crumbling
A cloud-shred trailing a mass to merge
I walk into Taj and stop to find
Adorned love placed in an ornate pedestal.
Still selling their lights profitably are the sun and the moon
And getting her name yet again and finally is the Jamuna
O! unsung architect, why does not
This wafer get blown by the wind?
Where did you get this sky from,
To stick your vision on?
Does the full moon become fuller
By holding a royal Mughal lantern
Will Jamuna loiter dazed by the punch-drunk fort for ever?
The Taj is in its all-white contemplation
On love birds, dogfights, nemesis and Nostradamus
And I walk through faded print with all words spent
Watching clouds forgiving crowds’ trespass into the skies..
S.Jagathsimhan Nair
* Written some twenty years ago and included in my book “RAINQUAKE”
For PD’s ‘Seven wonders of the world’ contest
For Andrea's 'Faves' contest again
My sister Susie loved picking her nose
To her chagrin her little finger froze
It was stuck so far
Doc used a crowbar
Finger up nose - not a ladylike pose!
Our Mother, in a fit of Pique
At Susie's antics with her Beak
Said, "Right my girl"
And in a whirl
Grounded Susie for a Week
Resenting her fate, in bed
Rebellion sparked inside her head
When all were asleep
She'd dress and creep
Though the window and escape instead
A branch near her window hung
Which to its foliage she clung
The branch was weak
And with a shriek
She fell into a pile of Dung
The house woke up only to find
Poor Susie in a dreadful Bind
She looked quite a mess
In her state of distress
That our Mother went out of her mind
"A School for young Ladies, I'll choose"
One, her wildness, I hope will defuse
And instil, at a pace,
Deportment and Grace
To refine the coarse ways of our Suz'
Packed off to be 'Finished' she went
Determined to never repent
Despite all opinions
It's just like 'St Trinians'
And for Susie, was quite an event
Susie boarded at ‘Saint Eloise’
It was there she got covered in fleas
Once she dived in a ditch
To be rid of that itch
Oh, you should see the state of her knees!
When in the first deportment class
Poor Susie fell straight on her ‘ass’
When she exposed her behind
The other girls were unkind
So Susie began passing gas
They had to open the windows and doors
Crawl about and move on all fours
To get rid of the smell
That came straight from hell
Staff told ‘Susie’ no more encores!
Her Classmates all thought it a Hoot
When she lit the gas that she'd shoot
She then vented a Storm
That Blew up her Dorm
Which got our poor Susie the Boot
She believed she should never have gone
From the ones she depended upon
With her Mission, complete
(And a Cork placed, discreet)
Susie's Home where she'll always belong.
20th January 2016
Collaboration J Allison and R Bettridge
It rained on and on.
the fire in the hearth
had long died out.
hunger grew,
frustration raged.
vultures swooped down
to feed on flesh in the night
half willing, half resenting,
surrendered, rather subdued,
desire spilled over,
bristles pricking
from organ to organ
thrusting and tearing
devouring in greedy gulp
waves surged past the log
passion spent,
hunger appeased,
purse strings loosened,
silver coins tinkled.
amply paid,
her wages of shame……!
the toil not wasted!
nights came one by one
creatures of the night frequented her more often
and the scenes were constantly replayed
though she abhorred them,
there was no other go, but yield
‘exploring hands encounter(ed) no defense’.
each night closed in smutty h(r) ut,
when the h(r)ut turned a prostitute,
she started to rot.
feeble she grew,
languid she became,
body thinned,
energy waned,
ailments plagued,
and
immunity lost!
now,
she lives an outcast.
a luscious fruit
blighted by the worms!
no more nocturnal invaders…..
no inebriated blather falls in her ears
only the hoot of owls !
___________________________
June.16.2022
Placed Fourth
Creatures of the Night Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Julia Ward
Stop resenting me
For the way I shop
The things I do
To make sure
My food is fresh
I confess I feel blueberries
In my fingers
To make sure they are firm
Not too ripe
I confess I shake
Cans of spaghetti and ravioli
So that I know
The sauce is not
Congealed
I confess I pull frozen waffles
From the back of the freezer
Less likely that they thawed
And refroze into
Oddball shapes
I confess I smell trout
Before I buy it
Placing it against my nose
In the most unabashed
Way
Spare me your hate
About my consumer habits
When I know it has nothing to do with
Food
As long as I bring you warm release
In the darkness of your desires
Pull your tangled hair the way
You like
Bite your darting tongue
In mad hunger
Deep appetite
As long as I reawaken the
Woman
Primal animal hidden
Within
Turn your heat into a river
For a long passionate
Swim
As long as I attend quickly to your
Every lusty command
The craving of your nympho
Insatiable
Demand
Then I can squeeze french bread
In quiet and peace
I can sniff cantaloupes
Without suffering ire
Or grief
I’ll take you tonight
In that filthy way
You like
Until then
Leave me alone
I’m shopping.
Visions of old
Visions of new
coming silently
begging through
Greed and power
betrayal strong
refusing rejection
motives wrong
unseen spirit
sends whispers
answers for hatred
lies within a narcissistic face
changing many profiles , going unnoticed, resenting , pretending.
Forgive me, for I have sinned, forgotten my debt,
For I betrayed you, closest friend, and your sweet longing trust,
Your curse befell my painful soul , and thunder strike my lust,
For they may kill and seek revenge, but not with hate, not yet.
Shall my deeds, and my crimes, see your vengeance black,
While craving to go back in time,
To wipe my wretched track,
I beg you, hear me and say , 'forgiven my friend,'
And rest your hands on shoulders weak, and follow me abroad,
More lies I spoke to fake the truth, more foolish acts of fraud,
A cold and deadly stabbing foe, no friend forgets nor mend,
But my friend, please forgive, call me friend, again,
For heart had gone astray and mad,
To leave you, friend, in pain.
And gone far, the talks and dreams, resenting the fact,
Your friendship worthy more than gold, in hours, in fearful night,
From you I seek the friendship lost, unfold its grace and light,
from you I wait the welcome sign, for eager heart to act,
And my friend, my long friend, from the mate, I seek
Again a trust to walk beside,
To trust my soul, all week.
©Anees Rahman
(What Susie Did)
My sister Susie loved picking her nose
To her chagrin her little finger froze
It was stuck so far
Doc used a crowbar
Finger up nose - not a ladylike pose!
Our Mother, in a fit of Pique
At Susie's antics with her Beak
Said, "Right my girl"
And in a whirl
Grounded Susie for a Week
Resenting her fate, in bed
Rebellion sparked inside her head
When all were asleep
She'd dress and creep
Though the window and escape instead
A branch near her window hung
Which to its foliage she clung
The branch was weak
And with a shriek
She fell into a pile of Dung
The house woke up only to find
Poor Susie in a dreadful Bind
She looked quite a mess
In her state of distress
That our Mother went out of her mind
"A School for young Ladies, I'll choose"
One, her wildness, I hope will defuse
And instil, at a pace,
Deportment and Grace
To refine the coarse ways of our Suz'
Packed off to be 'Finished' she went
Determined to never repent
Despite all opinions
It's just like 'St Trinians'
And for Susie, was quite an event
Susie boarded at ‘Saint Eloise’
It was there she got covered in fleas
Once she dived in a ditch
To be rid of that itch
Oh, you should see the state of her knees!
When in the first deportment class
Poor Susie fell straight on her ‘ass’
When she exposed her behind
The other girls were unkind
So Susie began passing gas
They had to open the windows and doors
Crawl about and move on all fours
To get rid of the smell
That came straight from hell
Staff told ‘Susie’ no more encores!
Her Classmates all thought it a Hoot
When she lit the gas that she'd shoot
She then vented a Storm
That Blew up her Dorm
Which got our poor Susie the Boot
She believed she should never have gone
From the ones she depended upon
With her Mission, complete
(And a Cork placed, discreet)
Susie's Home where she'll always belong.
(Collaboration with Jan Allison)
adrift the rift of dawn and dusk,
i lather in what made me unclean-
i softly whisper to one silent star…
“may you ease me from afar”
a dalliance of hope feeds me-
my intellect tender,
heart coarse;
always hungry for what drains me,
clinging onto what already let me go-
(so very long ago)
breathless and bare i stare at life,
for it has been kind yet given pain-
ethereal wings soar and demons seek me
in distant nightmares in vain
i awake
LIFELESS
unaware of who i was and why
i wanted to be someone else
alone and forsaken
with no chances taken
an aria of resounding mercy
cries in the sky,
i am left not ceasing moments,
only left behind to suffer
in a brooding elixir of why
and how-
o, the lengths where I went to try
sacrificing my kind heart
for transgressions,
falling apart and resenting
fear from the start-
life-long expressions of
hope and impressions
so, i softly whisper to one silent star…
“may you ease me from afar”
___________________________________
2.2.20
Dear whoever is reading this, you should probably stop
I've got a pen full of ink, and just took another Voddy shot
I've got love for everyone, even those who are resenting me
I'll be more offensive, to upset anyone who wants to censor me
I removed all of the sense in me
So now its impossible for me to act sensibly
You can adjust the picture, but I'll still be the centerpiece
Say it to my face, if what you say is meant for me
Load your weaponry, I promise I'll survive your head shots
Can't listen to people who think the greatest rapper is covered in tattoos and has dreadlocks
Bunch of kids who think Hip-Hop was invented when Young Money released bed rock
Lupe told me to dumb it down, cause so many out there are dimwitted
Write something a bit more simplistic
To have more chance of leaving the club with twin sisters
I've had my fair share of girls,So give me a target and watch my pen hit it
Studied the dictionary to make my mind better
They'd prefer I rhyme "Heart" with "Apart" and "you" with "true" and they'll act like they're the greatest lines ever
Cause it reminds them of them and their exes time together
Go listen to Drake if you want to hear a guy cry about a bunch of females
I analyze my relationships from both aspects, and use poetry to give the details
Because if you pretend to be someone you're not and give false promises
You've took all of your exes as hostages
You were never real with them
At least i'm open about my character flaws, and that I'd struggle to build with them
Females going "Drake's so romantic, I want to be his wife"
Because they fall for the lies in his music and ignore that he's at the strip club most nights
But who am I to tell them that their brain is working wrong
I'll have drake fans chasing me now, so i'm gone
Sour grapes make for the most
bitter wine.
I drink from it daily
Seeing lives I wish to lead
Moments I wish were mine
Familiarity breeds contempt
Brewing this hatred inside
No longer happy for you
No longer living through you
But resenting you
Questioning, why you
Not me
Turning all these sweet things
sour
Turning all this love into
rancour
Turning these brown eyes,
green
Filling my glass to the rim
I take another sip.
I still have that dream of us
on what would be my last day in Uruguay
sitting on a low stone wall
overlooking the vast sea
while the sun is chased away behind us
and the wind gently brushes the hair from your shoulder
to tease at my arm.
Between us is a slice of cake; Chajá, like promised
picked up while strolling Montevideo
the real tour being your form in three dimensions
a whisper of peach still on both of our tongues
still secretly wondering if it would taste any differently
if stolen off of lips instead.
Conversation scarce and unneeded
lulled in favor of kicking legs and staring out at birds
as they glide from blue and into orange and magenta blooms
all the while hyper aware
of how charged your long, lithe fingers seem
and how mine, coarse and calloused, are busy supporting my weight
as I lean back with my shoulders
and itch to crawl them closer.
Just the wind carrying unspoken wishes
in a moment so serene and encapsulated
in the lives of youths coming together in ebbs and flows
light crashes of waves
against a smooth stone wall.
"Can I kiss you?"
not knowing how but moving forward
brushing brows and cheeks with the pads of a thumb
and landing on a chin to hold
so that a featherlight brush might be delivered
with the proper mix of shy yet the most bold they've ever been.
And peach does taste especially sweet
when bitten off juicy lips.
As how salty air becomes a balm
when breathed fresh between two pairs of lungs
Though time is short and shy and chaste
this moment lingers like a false memory in a bottle
thrown from the wall to be lost at sea
a message to the future when this may be realized
and held precious like a gem and not fragile glass.
I don't want to taint this beautiful delusion
with the reality that is far too unkind
But now if I visit I fear we would both be ghosts
me, an intrusion
a foreigner retracing the steps of a familiar stranger
mourning the echoes of memories
resenting the setting sun behind the low stone wall
and the parting gift of an overdue first kiss
stolen not by the warm summer wind
nor even the strains of money nor pains of distance
nor "best laid plans"
but by something as simple and foolish
as wanting too much
the wrong kind of slip of the tongue.
She’s fighting me all the way.
She won’t hear it.
It’s a definite detriment,
to the spirit.
Perhaps it’s the way
I’m presenting it,
She wastes our time,
just resenting it.
The Lord somehow
Has me in training,
and uses these heartaches,
for explaining.
“There, there now,
My little fool,
It’s so simple,
My Golden Rule.”
Envy eats at my eager overtone.
Airing aspirations of me alone.
Resenting ruse, requiring need.
Festering famine, for you I feed.
Covet creation, I crave carelessly.
Desiring deeply, damn fearlessly.
Greedily grasping for others gain
Invidious intrusion, idly insane.
Spitefully starving, stalking prey.
Jealously jaunting, without delay.
Longing lust, loathing your term.
Craving prosperity, cash I affirm.
Rendition of riches, reasons resent.
In umbrage euthanizing my consent.
Tilling your toils, for me you taste –
Conceding to my monetary embrace.
Eagerly empowering an envied state.
Devouring dignity, a diligent debate.
Victoriously vigor, voicelessly vim.
Gluttony so gracious, greedily grim.