Best Relegation Poems
A word once spelled out
Defining what Saturday Night was all about
Lads from Bay City
Scene colorful, enchanting, and ever so pretty
Roller and rocking
Having one number that brought opportunity knocking
Entertaining enthusiastic disco dance girls
Experimenting with hair curls
Today Londoners are inside
Trusting the health care credibility protocol guide
Proclaiming lockdown
Serious rhetoric it did sound
Was this ugly frown?
Coming from the crown?
That brought modern life back to the ground
“Stay at home!”
Spewed the cautious tone
Instructed on the magical cell phone
“Maybe read a book all alone”
Club suggestion American author Nathaniel Hawthorne
And his writing about Witches scorned
Then convicted for the reason they were born
Passing the spiritual grades
Puritan anger sharpened threatened biblical blades
Intention protect evangelical attitude that resembled a virgin island
No one around to challenge any lying
During minute thirteen
Gallagher gent had a goal it seemed
“Get us out of relegation!
We are tired being patient!”
Came from the bird
When heard
“Extra time went way too long
The length of a Led Zeppelin song
We need to socialize and that is not wrong.”
Vengeful blades should be put a way
Scoreboard reporting nothing to say
Watch those in peaceful flight
Reminding those the Kingdom was once known as Albion white
Stop worrying about isolating fears
Instead start toasting Saturday Night cheers
Boys turned into men
Acting chivalry needing to defend
Thackray who never was
Due to the wasp woman wanting buzz
Gunners waited for Watford to arrive
“Foul!” they did claim in a cry
On target goal after the penalty try
Followed by one then another
Sunday’s mother
Agree those went in
Later on Arsenal committed an innocent sin
Deeny connected
Shot was not protected
Three one at the break
Story brewing about the yellow jacket relegation wake
Being well back
Singing stingers put together an attack
Calling upon Danny to give a whack
A nice song he did bellow
Not enough to save the hives, dear fellow
For the longest time
In her own mind
Mrs. Harris
Just home from Paris
Thackray did not cause any trouble
There was no reason to blow any bubbles
As time ticked away
Grealish earned his claret blue army pay
Slicking it through the post
Mrs. Harris a few seconds later returned the gesture with a kind toast
A draw
Was the call
And Aston’s Villa would not be sold
Since they did not fold
“Send down the Honey Cherry Buzz flavor”
Second tier league requested as a favor
Mr. Bourne with toffee candy in the mouth
His cherries ready to head south
But today he enjoyed a sweet victory taste
Wasn’t showing ill feelings or haste
Instead filled with Goodison’s grace
Citizens on the other hand made the canaries look like nothing
Man City netting five which was something
Four sixes were on the executive level table
Two were issued to pensioners writing a Chelsea fable
While the Red Devils had a pair
Enough to scare
That pesky fox
Now having respectable stock
“Worry about a single commitment next year
And enjoy that cheer”
Was the message
About priority addressing
As for Thackray, the west ham
Romantically united Mrs. Harris succeeded in her plan
Next time a gale force winds come through
Infecting play asking ‘what are you gonna do?”
Do not put the season in the hearses
Just be sporty write creative poetic rhyming verses
The End
Citizens were upset
With the Honey Hornets set
They played dance songs
But it was all wrong
Records being abused
Scratching them when used
Stingers created a vibe
That said let the music die
Before the first forty five ended
Twilight Zone Rod should be commended
Two for Stirling
Hometown hive was swirling
Only to see another pair go by
Relegation staring bees straight in the eye
Four score
Sky Blue headed for the door
“Nice seeing you here
Will be playing for champions league cheer
In the coming year
Tabloid stuff did not work
Honesty was how we popped the cork”
Later in the day Gunners held fire
While Aston’s Villa was put on the tight wire
If this was the end to the show
Arsenal would let them know
First half saw one in
Enough for a claret blue army crucial win
This allowed a table jump
To safety over buzzing hump
No need reporting anything new
Except the canary could be dining on honey dipping stew
In the dungeon
Doing some number crunching
Asking themselves why did we go to that high profile luncheon
Where we did all the munching
Looking for a new name
Thackray was playing the game
Ready to survive
Being alive
In the high profile section
Worthy to have fame protection
To stay there another year
A point needed to stay clear
Out of relegation hanging with the right dear
Off to see Old Trafford
Information to be gathered
A magical cure
From the Man U store
Getting a prescription
Removing all restriction
Companion Antonio led the march
Chivalry suddenly felt a little parch
“Get a drink!”
Thackray made Antonio think
Taking a hydration break
Strategy Antonio was able to make
Once in the enemies box
Like a fox
A penalty called
Something done against the law
Score was converted
Three points fantasy flirted
This ended in the second half
Red Devils came back in a wrath
Greenwood’s foot showed the path
A one- one draw
Making the Hammers stand tall
Thackray the West Ham
Was no longer in the jam
Finished United that was the plan
Did she end up in wedding bliss?
Dropping the title Miss
Antonio the boy toy
Knows she would enjoy
This romantic union
Special agent’s doing
If she met a guy
Character description ‘a spy
Fighting freedom giving a good try’
This could come together
Reading the loveliest letter
Relaxing in the sun
Having fun
Knowing she had won
Ship pulling into port
Capturing her fort
Leading to travel
Where emotions unravel
Making a decision
Accepting the mission
Honeymoon in Paris
Using a passport reading Mrs. Harris
Time to enjoy star with bucks’ coffee
Along with Toffee
Knocked on the door
Aston was not going to be ignored
“I am a nice treat
Very sweet”
A grand old lady welcomed him in
Having a grin
“Aston, where have you been?”
Trying to be sly
Not really telling any lie
“Fighting to stay in the big time
Got caught up in a bind
Relegation on my mind”
An antique Everton fashion smile
Opened up like it was on file
“Sometimes down there
No pressure in the air
Attitudes will be joyous not bitter
Fans will be happy during dinner”
As the first half slipped away
Nothing happened on this day
Until late in the match
Aston opened the hatch
A goal was there no strings attached
Showing he knew how to play
In the top notch superior way
Putting one on the board
Three points the Claret and Blue army would get for the award
But that was not going to happen
Granny Goodison decided to zap him
Right before the ninety minutes
Aston not going to get into it
“You are only going home with one
Fantasy trip almost done
I gave you my candy
Run home little Aston quick and dandy”
Feeling like he was tricked
Aston sat in his villa knowing he was licked
“I guess I am going down
To the lower league town
I will return
From this year’s burn
Stronger and firm
From what I learn
When enjoying a win
Competing to be an English Football Champion”
Something happened that shook the ground
The Hammies were victory bound
Two goals up late in the game
They thought the words of relegation would be tamed
Suddenly, the seagulls started to pest
Not allowing the Hammies a rest
Finding the net, a goal closer the Seagulls did get
Only a few minutes later a bright move was made not using a hand
And the incident put more leverage into the relegation plan
This review situation scene made West Ham yell and scream
What is this said the marooned fan another video replay scam?
All level and if this keep up the Londoners will spend a year with the British futbol devil
Relegation haunts those who play at the Olympic home and this situation is like being biblically stoned
On the bright side
And this is no lie
A whole new league could invade, and they could have much EPL information to trade
Also, if West Ham makes the drop
The losing may stop
Leaving West Ham England Champion on top
It is at the half
And the Hammies have not taken a bath
Due to the rain
Schedule was changed and that was a pain
You see the UK had swamps like in Florida
Delaying the little piggy’s invitation to be slaughtered,
Playing Manchester City in the big blue house
Now having a Wed date despite not having a spouse
Going easy Man City had a strike
But that was it and after forty-five minutes the Hammies were psyched.
Are they the ones being taken?
Allowing Manchester City to collect the bacon.
Or will they escape the market trip?
In the prime time English Premiere football script
Early on West Ham stretcher made an appearance
Giving a Hammer substitute clearance
Man City had a miss calculated shot
And West Ham still looked hot
It was still
One nil
As West Ham got first aid
The Citizens made moves as an attempt to make the sports book grade
With another one put in goal
Manchester City waited for West Ham to fold
Throwing the ham on the frying pan
Manchester City shrugged off that well reported UEFA ban
Knowing it was time to coast
MC hinted to West Ham “it is time for that relegation roast”
Time is ticking and the Hammies are still alive
Using the sports book getting 2.5 message of ‘give it a good try’
Would there be another goal?
As they deal with reality being cold.
Extra time is now on the board
And the sporting midweek evening was headed for the door.
Refs put up a time of four
And even Bubbles The Bear said look at the score
Hanging on to the bitter end
The Hammies were able to defend
Making a spread by a half point
And giving a reason for a laugh at the sports book joint.
Next up London boys
The Industrial workers known for the rock and roll band that were toys?
Give it your best
The high pro filers may confess
As the people realize if you were out of the glitz and glamour
You could make real money using a hammer
There was a buzz in the air
About Astin’s upcoming weekend affair
A Friday night match
Where Astin was such a catch
Lured in with bait
Wolves prowling looking great
But alas a mistake
A correction needed to make
Someone wanted cake
Decided to change plans to an afternoon luncheon
Wolves and Astin hiring catering for the munch on
Bags were packed at the Canary’s pad
Waiting for a downtown cab
Going to a positive place
Maybe a championship to build a successful case
When it heard
From a news worthy credible bird
Hornets did not distance themselves from the demotion third
Apparently a few glasses of Claret wine
Relaxed the stingers at the time
When the clock struck seventy three
Hornets grabbed the honey for a spot of tea
In the ball it went
After the purple and red posted it sent
One to nothing
Shutting them out which was something
Leaving the relegation decision tight
Making the next footbally month a competitive fight
Right?
There was a ring at the dungeon door
Canary raced across the floor
Pulling a hammy while nursing his soars
Appearing was a seagull that once was poor
“My friend the Canary
Spent the morning sailing over on the ferry
Sipping my AM sherry
Very relaxed not in a hurry
But many thoughts I do carry
You should not worry
Since I got a goal
Decided not to fold
So I tell my dear Canary
Things right now may seem scary
If you go down to the other league
You may be a champion I do decree
Honestly, I must get back to the beach
Hope you learned from what I teach”
Later in the day
Royals wanted to play
“Let’s chase the foxes around
How does that sound?”
But after the hunt took a brake
That both sides did take
Protecting their own field
Foxes knew the deal
By putting one up on them
Now he Royals really needed to defend
When another one hit the board
Royal’s weekend ride turned into a chore
Asking for extra time
Foxes replied, ‘not on my dime’
Sending one home not being declined
A group nicknamed the Red Devils
Needed comfort they were at a certain level
Invitations went out from Old Stafford
Heated pitch fork staff holding back the laughter
Mr. Bourne took the message in stride
Showed up and truly did try
With one that went in
Mr. Bourne’s mouth was smiling
This did not stop the satanic crew
Since they were not through
Cherries were lured into a fight
Victory the demons right
Frustrated and in trouble
Mr. Bourne returned to his bubble
Mouth now tied shut
Red Devils saying, “so what”
Rumors abound
All around town
Lily White
Needs a knight
She is tangled
Being wrangled
By the tricky trees
Planted by Peacocks from Leeds
Wolves are down under
Hearing wraths thunder
Drinking Burnley claret wine
Getting ready to do second tier time
In comes the Hammer girl
Wearing expensive pearls
Bought using Gallo credit
Wondering, ‘will anyone get it?’
Message, ‘relegate’
Easier opponents await
Fans will have reason to cheer
Dousing the same expensive beer
As players work on maturing skills
Crunching numbers, paying the bills
Oh yes, who is going to get dropped
Commentating, ‘our season truly was a flop’
Officially closing the show
Taking the athletic production to parts unknown
Goal now ‘will want to come back’
Claiming healed healthy, surviving a relegation attack