Best Reaper Poems
As All Hallows’ Eve approacheth my thoughts turneth to darkest dread,
Whilst in old age I harboureth a deep fear of seeing this one’s grim head;
Methinks the Grim Reaper cometh this time with his scythe in hand,
Which striketh maximum fear in me and maketh him feel quite so grand.
Death and darkness doth pervade this spirit’s intent from that great beyond,
And bringeth one a chilling fear if one’s destiny be unending Hellspawn;
All Hallows’ Eve is the image I conjureth of my imminent departure,
But I hopeth for divine intervention and protection during this departure.
For I shan’t want to feel the fear and malediction of the Grim Reaper’s gaze,
As he eerily walketh in the deep mist to bringeth my soul into that darkest haze;
I prayeth then Oh Lord God, haveth an Angel escort me on my final trip beyond,
And spareth me the Grim Reaper’s terrifying visit and his image of Hellspawn.
I asketh thy divine power and all goodness in protecting my eternal spirit and soul,
And delivereth them to Heaven on All Hallows' Eve most sound and quite whole!
Amen! Amen! Amen!
Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved - October 25, 2014
(Shakespearean Sonnet)
These were my first five "Monday Monokus":
"Three Monokus walk into a bar" posted 28 Sept 2020
don't challenge Death to a pillow fight or you will face Reaper cushions
"Mr. Descartes, will you join us?" "I think not", he said, and disappeared
the only time that cows will fall asleep is when it's pasture bedtime
Attribution: these one-liners were found online and the sources are unknown
"Good Moaning to You" posted 5 Oct 2020
Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand: "make me one with everything"
this sign seen at a butcher shop: "our lean beef comes from 2-legged cows"
there are just 2 kinds of people that drive me crazy those that can't count
Attribution: the first of these 3 one-liners was found online and the source is unknown. The other two were (to my knowledge) original to me.
"COVID Crazy" posted 12 Oct 2020
during covid I sit around like a head with its chicken cut off
I'm doing my first marathon this weekend hmm, netflix or hulu?
did you wake up grouchy today or did you allow him to sleep in?
Attribution: these one-liners were found online and the sources are unknown
"Avian Flew" posted 19 Oct 2020
indiscriminate lovebirds may contract a canarial disease
a few unprotected canaries have been known to contract cherpes
...most get lucky and are greatly relieved to find out it's tweetable
Attribution: I first heard this 3-part joke from my father-in-law many years ago. The source is unknown (I'm pretty sure he didn't make it up...)
"News Flash" posted 26 Oct 2020
"toilet stolen from local precinct police have nothing to go on"
"marijuana bill snuffed out by a Congressional Joint Committee"
the News is where they tell you "Good Evening" then explain why it isn't
Attribution: these one-liners were found online and the sources are unknown
Blue sky turning cobalt
Black cloak in the wind
A skeletal shape
Looking for the innocents sins
Ravens above
In frantic flight
Their master they chase
Decrepit delight
Scythe in swipe
Cutting and swathing
All before him
Bloodied craving
The sands of time
Around his waist
In timely pursuit
His deathly taste
Don't fear the Reaper
For the innocents with no sins
Will rise in their might
And the cleansing begins
The previously fallen
Apparition wraith
Unification of right
As they follow their faith
Cobalt to sky blue
The heavens lights in shine
Don't fear the Reaper
Follow the divine
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/fantasy4.php
I see you
I am no fool
Like ravens over prey
You are keeping your eye on me
I see
With my one good eye
Your hunger
Salivating lips
My heart may stop beating
My arm feeling the pain of your grip
I laugh at you
You forgot to keep the musical score
As I wrote my notes for the masses to pursue
Ah you let go once more
See?
You will win one day, no doubt
Darkness is our brotherly connection
Death our final compromise
Galmi
We all know you will fly again
Over death and ancient ways
It was nigh on to St. Crispin's day
But I found no solace there.
The night curdled with discontentment
As a vile expectation filled the air.
Death himself appeared at my door...
His heinous purpose not yet clear.
It ripped me to the very core...
It tasked my soul with fear.
'Forgive this late intrusion.'
It offered in a throated baritone.
"I am due this night to reap a soul...
But your neighbor's not at home.'
With a firm grip on my mortality...
I could think of nothing more.
I called out towards my husband...
'Honey... you're wanted at the door.'
The End
“Amazing tradition. They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can’t come.“
Quote by Jeff Goldblum.
JOHNNY SPICER
In this tomb are the bits and pieces of the butcher Johnny Spicer
Got distracted whilst cutting meat and fell into the meat slicer.
JAMES.D.BOWLER
In this crypt are the flat remains of James.D.Bowlar
Tripped crossing the road into the path of a steam roller.
FREDDIE ALBRIGHT
In this grave is the head of surfer Freddie Albright
It was all that was left when he encountered a great white.
JIM BYRONS
Buried below are just the bones of hunter Jim Byrons
His rifle jammed and his body eaten by lions.
THE COMEDIAN
Hear lies Sid the comedian who thought it was funny
Kicking the bucket and owing the taxman money.
WILLO THE WISP
Lying below are the charcoaled remains of fire eater Willo The Wisp
Who drank too much petrol in his act and was burned to a crisp.
EMILY GRAF
Interred in two pieces is the magician's wife Emily Graf
Something went drastically wrong, and he sawed her in half.
PETE THE BUILDER
Above this grave is just the statue of the builder Pete
Fell headfirst into a cement mixer whilst mixing concrete.
JOE McNAIR
The loud crackling you can hear in this grave is of the killer Joe McNair
Too much power was used when they executed him in the electric chair.
Written on 11th August 2024.
Unwanted visitor knocks at the door
Unwilling my feet that pace the floor
Wanting but not finding the patience of the brave
Peeking around surroundings for what would save
A ghost is still living in a haunted house
The heart slowly answers the would be shout
My after life still fears the nearing calls
Afraid of the souls quite possible fall
Why should I fear my memory ask?
When life and living have completed task
Where shall I wonder after the fall?
Why am I worried when I answered the call
Why wonder the fears that creep
When the lose of this body a new soul seeks
Why wait any longer in this defiled self
When newness awaits it’s promised health
Worry not, says the preceding crowd
Seek not worries that are very loud
Accept the calling coming from the clouds
The narrow path that souls have paved
Parents and grands where temples stayed
Tempt not the life that was laid
Who was the first before you raised
So maybe you wont see the End of Days
Suffer just a little and let God be praised
I've buried some and I'll bury some more
Hell no I don't keep score
If you see me, it's over
Shoulda picked a different clover
I don't care whose gonna miss you
I just wanna hurry up and get through
Don't cry or try to run
You can't believe things I can do son
Nah, go ahead
I have come for you, mortal one
the way that I have come each time
for anyone! Such is your fate.
As surely as you see the sun
each day as you stand by your gate
to watch the new sun start to climb
to sky, I come! There is no crime
in what I am about to do.
It is your time. I’m taking you.
So go ahead and try to fight
to go not gently into night.
Your ancestors – they too had fought
when in my clutches they’d been caught,
Know this: I did not write the plot!
The tale each mortal must live out
is what each life is all about.
By Him Supreme I have been sent.
There is no time left to repent.
You mortals do not know me well.
I’m not the bad guy. Look and see
beyond this night -beyond the veil.
Release! Drift to your destiny.
Jan 20, 2020
For strict rhyme and meter challenge Poetry Contest
Contest judged. 1/27/2020. NA
NOW for Dear Heart's Writing Prompt -
Take The Dagger Out Poetry Contest
The Reaper I know,
You respect no one.
When you decide to take one home,
Age, color, accomplishments mean nothing to you
In your court.
You harvest every soul
At your most convenience.
In life's prime and low, you strike hard
Without any consideration.
You cause unexplained weeping
And a void that will never be filled. You take when you want,
Without giving notice.
Who are we to question you?
You have control over all authorities.
Where fairness is not discussed
Oh, I don't expect you to be fair,
For your existence is not fair.
When we are born and life begins,
A child is perfect, free from sin.
We stand beneath life’s rising arch,
And grow through fits and halting starts.
As young adults, we race with speed,
Not understanding what we need.
We find first love in our late teens,
Not fully knowing what it means.
We race ahead, not looking back,
While the reaper stays on our track.
Middle age is on its way,
And the reaper never goes away.
And in the waning years of life,
Through all the toil and all the strife,
We start to wonder where life has gone,
And know we are closer to dusk than dawn.
A voice behind becomes more clear
As the reaper’s footsteps draw near.
Fear and loathing fill our thought,
As if we’re racing against the clock.
One day I choose at last to stop,
And slowly turn around and drop.
I see the reaper standing there.
He says, “My friend, I truly care.”
I know he’s here to end my life,
To free me from my pain and strife.
When out of nowhere, an angel appears,
Saying, “Have no fear, my brother, I am here.”
She reaches out and takes my hand,
And pulls me close where now I stand.
The reaper bows his shadowed face,
Then disappears without a trace.
The angel looks at me and says,
“Heaven is yours for endless days.”
Death comes before the reaper, with its sickly pale dark breath,
A curdling color of dark green, that wreaks somewhat of death,
When dreams fall into hopelessness all lost to the mundane,
Rain of misty misery can drive a mind insane
Do NOT give up your dreams my friend, reach out and gather light!
Like pebbles washed upon the beach, seize each joy with delight
Some dreams of our antiquity, may surely wash away,
Yet others wash within our reach upon this very day.
Do NOT allow the dreariness of misery to steal,
To rob you of the joy this living day can surely deal.
To read the poems of others, or share of one yourself
No dulling of one's wits by putting living on a shelf
Death comes before the reaper, with its sickly pale dark breath,
A curdling color of dark green, that wreaks somewhat of death.
Rebuke the dark time killer that will leave one in a daze
Hopeless hours of pure mundane mind wrapped in mists and haze
Grab the light, insist to write! Live life to the brim
In little ways, in all your days, hold fast!
Carpe diem!
*********************************************************************************************
Who are you ~ I ask?
The grim reaper am I, came the reply.
I say ~ I'm not dying or dead.
So you say, came the reply.
So why have you come this way?
I am surely not done with my life.
Though I did not hear a reply.
Out of the silence came a voice.
It was not weak ~ it was not low.
And it was not loud ~
I sat up straight as a pin.
Just so I could take it all in.
So you say ~ came the reply again.
And he went on to say ~
Have you not read the news today?
He said he read it in the headlines,
On this very day, ~ was his reply.
There was a car pile- up,
Down on fourth and Maine.
License plate read DOA- today.
And I see you sitting in front
Of me ~ on this very day.
So it must be true.
I'm here just for you!
The grim reaper comes
bearing gifts of an afterlife
we are too good for
In the magic kingdom Disney's pen he did draw
A slightly dozy tiger and a bear named winnie the poo
The Lion king and Simba who brought joy to all who saw .
Dumbo and his big ears amazed the world and flew.
and king Louie in the jungle, who wants to be like you.
and a kung fu fighting panda and a dragon warrior to boot.
the only downside is that thanks to you and me, theres only.
Tigers are nearly toast 3,200 left
20,000 lions roaming free
Asian elephant 35,000 not a big number as you can see
Sumatran orangutan 14,600 nice going cousins nearly wiped me out
Panda 1,964 that pretty black and white
If your another species beware the human race.