Best Pig Out Poems


Premium Member Seven Deadly Footles

Pride
I'm first
you're worst

Greed
all mine
don't whine

Envy
I need
your deed

Gluttony
pig out
grow stout

Sloth
sweat, plow
not now

Wrath
Joad's grapes
bad scrapes
 
Lust
dispose
of clothes

Premium Member Disgusting Commercial

DISGUSTING COMMERCIAL

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Belly hangs over, energy lags

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Beach ball bloating a thing of the past

Darlene B,, bikini beauty, she lost fifty
From obese to trim now aint that nifty

I tell ya, gordo, though you may resist
Fifty off that paunch will never be missed

If going cold turkey has failed in the past
Cash on the line will save you at last

Our plan now comes with money back guarantee
So what if you pig out – go on a spree

Nothing’s lost but your self esteem
After the orgy macho bod only a dream?

No! Shovel in the junk food one last time
Then start life over, call up Trim Line
Dave Austin

Cook Out

Shopping day today and my supplies are low.
I plan on inviting everyone to a cook out
so I better make a list of what I will need.
I will need tolerance – sure I have some, but
there will be many showing up and I doubt
they will bring their own – for my crowd
will be many and varied.
Humor, humor, humor. I had better stock
up on that. If these people don’t
just get over themselves
and learn to take a joke, then I’m afraid
they are in for lots of very preventable aggravation.
Common sense. Now, I know it’s not
the most sought out hors d oeuvre , but
it is the most important. If more people would
help themselves to generous helpings of
common sense,
I do believe things would be much easier.
Some charm, civility, manners – good God, yes –
intelligence wouldn’t hurt, and we could
have us a real good time.
Unfortunately,
most people like to pig out on the
jealousy, envy, pride, prejudice on the 
other tables. Scoop me some helpings of 
rudeness, guile, back stabbing and pity while
you’re at it. 
But, not at my cook out. 
You only get served tolerance, humor, common sense,
charm, civility, manners, intelligence …
Come join me, but be prepared to join in.


Premium Member Gluttony

Thanksgiving meal has come,
A big feast for the tum,
But not so good for the waist. 

Each eager guest hovers,
Hungry, turkey lovers
Cannot wait for that first taste.

Each child and each duffer,
Tomorrow will suffer
That to the table they raced.

Some folks lose their reason
In holiday season.
They pig out until disgraced.

For Dr. Mehta's contest

My Husband

My husband is the man whom i cant live without
He gave me love and joy,and makes me feel proud
I miss the way he laugh, the way he talk
the way he kisses and hug me a lot .
 
We always drive around the city of ZC
Until we find a perfect place to hangout
I miss our picnic time and the way we pig out
Until we are full and hear our own burp.

Even if sometimes we quarrel a lot
God knows i never meant to hurt the one i love
I miss the way he console me and tell me
that everything will gonna be alright.
 
I know me and my husband
Are two people that are not alike
That is why we need patience for us to adjust
But he will always be,God's greatest gift into my life.
 
Inspite of our differences
We still choosed to tie our love with a knot
And we have no idea where fate will goin to lead us
But one thing is for sure,I'll stay with this man...no matter what.

A Special Wish, From a Special Friend

If you take it step by step
And only one day at a time
Life can be a gift from God
Not treated as a crime.
As long as you are willing
Helping with open arms I’ll be
Bringing into sight for you
New dreams that will set you free
As your nightmares slowly vanish
And all your demons become stray
Good points to all sorrows show
As your pain slowly fades away
You’re not fooling me behind a mask
I know you very well
Why do you hide the truth inside
adding fuel to all your hell?
Tomorrow when it has passed
Will be a memory like today
Don’t be the pig out to be slaughtered
Be the vulture devouring its prey
Writing the pages is all it takes
To take control of your own fate
Print only truth inside this book
Before it is too late
Remembered as you really are
Just by what your friends have told
A man of honor and all heart
With love that’s free and never sold
So, I’m sending out this blessing
With love that I have chosen to send
Have a Happy Birthday today and always
That’s my wish to you, my special friend


Around the Snout

Favorite pig out…
Bier bratwurst and sour kraut
Flies buzzing about

The Pig

It was a cold and muddy day
as Gertrude lay smiling.
Just the kind of weather 
that she adored.
She could splash around 
for hours in the glop 
and guzzle up 
all her shlopp 
when it was time.
Oh how she loved 
the sound 
of the hog-call.
It would signal 
that special time 
of day for her 
when she could literally 
pig-out!
Her delicate pink skin 
did not tan too well, 
always needing 
a good coating of oils, 
hence the perfection 
in the weather described.
Her trotters, 
she thought, 
were possibly 
her best feature – 
could they 
be called dainty? 
Unlike her large snout 
that she sometimes wished 
could have been 
more discreet-looking. 
She valued her large ears 
because they were 
indeed an asset, 
especially close 
to supper time 
and her eyes, 
well, they were 
the eyes of 
an intelligent creature, 
somewhat underestimated 
by Man, 
simply because 
of the sweet tasting 
tantalising suppleness 
of the flesh 
of the animal. 
What to do 
thought Gertrude, 
but eat, 
eat, eat, 
eat, eat, 
while you still 
could eat, 
at least. 
Because one day – 
every pig knew 
as all pigs know – 
we would all see 
the blade descend 
on us 
and 
then 
splat!
© Avril Leaf  Create an image from this poem.

Houston, We Have a Person

Became so fat he floated away
"Who the heck is that?", they'll say

Too much pizza, ice-cream, and pop
Parents should have told him to stop!

Five-hundred pounds of blubber
So much for land-lover!

Someday he will orbit Earth
So much for what exercise is worth!

If you eat too much be like him
Don't pig out on a whim!

A Patriotic Idiotic Pig Out

A Patriotic Idiotic Pig Out

What we did determine without a doubt,
Apparently Bowel was patriotic pig out;
Never desired,
Or inspired,
And with boredom had been a big bout.

Thanks to Sand Blown.

Ahhh. Bowel a big blow out.

Jim Horn

Was not deserving of being
called a Bowl.
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.

Mommy Be My Valentine

I know daddy's gone and it's for him that you pine
I can't bring him back so instead will you please be my valentine?
On a scale of one to ten you're an easy ten point nine
I hear you cry at night Mommy but we're going to be fine
We'll breathe life back into each other with the greatest love that ever did shine
Our bond and hearts will be stronger then anything else that ever intertwine
I can't buy or share with you any wine
I can help cook your favorite dinner and we can dine
Afterwards we can pig out on a bunch of chocolate like a couple of swine
You're the best Mommy in the world and I think you're divine
Don't worry Daddy has a great view from heaven and I know he'll see his special valentine sign
He came to me in my sleep and said he missed our pretty smiles so I made you a special card with a super silly design
My mommy, my friend no matter what I'll love and protect you, I'm so glad your mine
I hope my card helps make you smile for daddy and you'll do me this extra big favor and be my special valentine

Premium Member Cat Previews Thanksgiving Foods

I decided to get a preview of the Thanksgiving leftovers.
Anticipating the humans suffering from day-after-hangovers. 

Lucky for me, someone left the frig open a crack.
I slid in there and laid down under the largest full rack.

I started on the pie, it was super delicious of course.
Save some for me yelled a voice; it sounded like a miniature Norse.

stuffing smells delicious, if there is one spice I love it is sage.
I could pig out here forever. I’ve been here an hour, I’d gauge.

The door opened slowly, and I tumbled onto the floor. 
The cook in the kitchen was so angry, I got kicked out the door. 

I did not care, because in each of my fists was a drumstick so round.
My fat bottom saved me as I landed squarely on November’s ground.

I’ll be back next year! I yelled to my neighbor Mrs. McFur. 
She was on the phone to my mother, complaining, I am sure.

My Testimony

My Testimony

I’ve seen in the last few years, 
Many things that have brought much happiness along with many tears. 

Like knowing the Lord and letting lose all my worldly fears,
Letting go of the wheel and letting Jesus be the one who steers.

I’ve seen some mighty hard people taken to their knees,
And watched them rise up, changed and forgiven, I was one of those you see!

I used to think worshiping Jesus was for wimps not for guys like me,
Until I received Him and He lifted all my burdens, it was Jesus that set me free!

And now I just want to shout it to the world how Jesus loves us and cares,
How He died to save our souls and eternity with Him, He only wants to share.

Did you ever pig out on something thinking this would fill your need?
Only to still have that craving after you had finished your feed!

That’s the way my life was, craving something, but I had no idea where to look,
Till I received Jesus and started reading from the Holy Book.

Well I still have that craving but the void is filled within,
I can’t get enough of Jesus and I’m so glad I let Him in.

Just one thing I’d like to leave you with before this story comes to the end,
If you haven’t found Jesus your life is empty, and His arms are aching to hold you close
to Him my friend.

It doesn’t matter who you are, or what you’ve done,
Jesus really loves you, God’s only Son!

Condiment Cabaret

Split pickle, sliced pickle, crisp pickle, knife
All in the jar planning the night of their life

Paul pokes a pinky in, eyeing his snack,
But this time the gherkins decide to fight back

They jump out and land with a splash and a splurt,
Wielding the knife, but no one gets hurt

The stunned little boy retreats to the den
And the pickles go crazy, like a pig out its pen

They snort and they stomp, hollering “Boo yeah!” and “Woot!”
Till they hear the door crack, and the boom of a boot

Mommy’s home now, with burgers to fry
But she sees the jar empty, and rolls her eyes with a sigh

“Buddy boy,” she groans, “has got to my stash”
No pickles tonight - just patties and mash

The sly little veggies dash out the cat flap
Hoping not to get lost, for lack of a map

They pick up on a beat, and file along
To the neighborhood night club, swaying hips to the song

Elated and dilly, they burst through the door,
Disco ball turning, then head straight to the floor

It’s Saturday night and the fever is burning
The moves that they do have the novices yearning

These pickles are partying - they own the house
Other creatures start stirring, even a mouse

The sight of them all, an unforgettable scene,
Draws onlookers round, except one of them’s mean

It’s a bitter young man, not a fan of bland food
Chased by his mom, yelling, “Wait up, dude!”

Paul gets to them first, and he’s armed with a fork
He bares his teeth growling, and pops like a cork

Hungry and brimming with anger and spite,
Paul gobbles them up, with a crunch and a bite

But the pickles keep wiggling - the show must go on
And Paul’s tummy is bouncing - he’s up until dawn

Like a croc with a clock, from miles away,
The dancing belly's still heard, all night and all day.

The moral, my friend, is that revenge may taste sweet,
But when food comes to life, you’d better not eat.

After

What’s harder
finding
or keeping

Searching for your hearts desire
your knight is shining armor.
Once the ride into the sunset has wakened into morning

After he has seen you with hair that could rival Medusa
After he has picked up your used tissues
After seeing you pig out on a lazy day
After their laugh stops being cute and starts being annoying
After the bra and panties hanging around the room stops being sexy and starts 
being disgusting
After realizing she can't cook
After the sleepless nights of non stop snoring
After the march madness where the guys never leave
After the fights

What’s easier
the finding
or the keeping

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