Best Piddle Poems

A lady with a weak bladder*
Thought nothing could make her madder
But Heaven knows
Her pantyhose
Revealed a soaking-wet ladder! 


*Weight gain stretches bladder muscle causing 
leakage. ...

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Piddle Eee Dee

Dribble, Dribble, breakage, and Piddle
                  ...

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Riding off into the Ivory Palace sunset,
in a pitch-black limousine, no less

Hear the heavy metallic chariot roar,
leaving exacerbated fumes echo deplored

Aural palette, enamel pestilent pain...

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There once was a fox, as wise as can be,
 He lived in the hollow of an old oak tree.
 Not so very far from...

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Sam Ebenezer
a sad ol' geezer
was lamenting his shrinkage of late:
my worthless ding-a-ling
is a bell without ring
my manhood in diminishing state
 
From whence I salute
is thin...

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When I grow old
My body not yet cold
But the brown of my eyes
Turns to gray

I will wear a large hat
When I patrol through
My garden and...

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LOST IN BRITAIN

Poling, Patching, Nether Wallop, 
Matching Tye and Droop

Plumpton, Lickfold, Puddletown, 
Westward Ho! and Throop.

Hole of Horcum, New Invention,
Boghead, Frome, Cat's Ash

North Piddle, Staines...

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Temperature's hovering at 103
Very much too hot for me,
A/C busted, that's
plain to see...
Tenant's squawking
What can I do, let's see....

Stuck in the middle,
The owners just piddle
All...

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LONG DISTANCE LOVERS

Long distance lovers suit me best - no worries who gets which side of the bed
Even better no need to look pretty in...

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All of us are born ignorant and some
Of us remain that way I'm sad to say.
The knowledgeable flourish and become
The shepherds, the dumb just piddle...

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Goodness me, fiddle dee dee and la de dah
Mary turned into a black sheep, baa baa baa
That naughty little lamb
Has contrived a big scam
She's gone...

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[To the tune of Ghost Riders In The Sky (loosely)]
               ...

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She stood there and slooshed on the grass at her feet
She’d have to move forward before she dared eat
She walked a few paces to discover...

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Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon--had no fiddle,

The little dog laughed, got smashed as a Poodle,
the cow laughed...

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Hey diddle diddle
The dog did a piddle
Right in front of the groom
The bride’s dress was sprayed
But she wasn’t dismayed …
He’s a guest of the bride...

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