Best Piddle Poems
A lady with a weak bladder*
Thought nothing could make her madder
But Heaven knows
Her pantyhose
Revealed a soaking-wet ladder!
*Weight gain stretches bladder muscle causing
leakage. The French strengthen bladder muscle by
blowing up balloons. The Japanese prefer sitting on
a wooden stool and repetitiously lifting their legs level
to the floor, but the quickest results are achieved by
the Manx Method developed by avid researcher Jan
Allison, which consists of standing on one's head
and farting along with the 1812 Overature!
Piddle Eee Dee
Dribble, Dribble, breakage, and Piddle
A pox on that little dog!
Ankle biter, obnoxious barker…
Wish he’d just shut up!
Chased him around all day long
But he still got my sofa again!
I wonder if my Dear Old Mother-in-Law
Could survive just one day without him!
Perhaps I should now get out the broom
A week of destroying stuff, is just too much!
So I used the broom to scoot him out the door.
Then he proceeded to dig my flowers up!
From under the fence he made an escape
I chased him for an hour and a half!
Then my Mother-in-Law came back home
And picked her precious up!!!!
Such love and warmth I've never seen… Darn…
Wouldn't that be my luck! So I’m back to…
Dribble, Dribble, breakage, and Piddle
A pox on that little dog!
Ankle biter, obnoxious barker…
Wish he’d just shut up!
Piddle Paddle,Piddle Paddle
shouldn't that child be asleep. Is
there anyone down there that can
here me....Piddle Paddle, Piddle
Paddle its just me and mom
place....Piddle Paddle,Piddle Paddle,
I'm getting tired now....Piddle
Paddle,Piddle Paddle...now we all
can go to sleep.
It has become necessary to use piddle pads in the back room
So I am not interrupted at night and try to make sleep resume
My neighborhood has gotten run down and people can be bad
If I had a doggie door vermin and thieves would take all I had
My dogs are getting older and harder to teach
It seems the piddle pad is always out of reach
Kublia proudly stands on it, just his front part
His bottom half on the bare floor missing the mark
A sea of pee puddles that the clean pad does not absorb
I spent my money on the piddle pad so I could mop no more
Genghis sniffs the pad and then runs to the wall by the open door
He lifts his hind leg and smiles as he pees on the mopboard
So I clean the floor and give the clean piddle pads away
And bought giant reusable piddle pads on the same day
The big pads overlap the mopboard and covers the floor of the room
Now my doggies use them right, and I use less of the mop and broom
Hey diddle diddle, really need to piddle
Aim for the cat, hit her right in the middle
Sometimes I miss
My cat she does hiss
Our long lasting friendship has started to fizzle
.
pippa'z pretty whenst peeled
pippa'z pretty whilst peeled
pippa'z pretty wuz peeled
*I put this write's form az "iambic pentameter" because PS does not
list "iambic trimeter" for poetic form...
(oh, just contemplate the five foot form... i meant "feet" y'all ;)
*and no, Pippa iz not the toad...
...that's; "pipa" '(
*Astute fellowz here have, "Artistic license"
*note tuh edvard...there'z a river(spring) in
england called the "piddle river"; the celts
ruled britain for 500 years and made home
along it's wet ;)