Best Pickles Poems
There was a time when
pleasure came on the tip of a tongue.
When fear fled and the senses
did indulge.
Though visions dim and
sound distorts, dismays…
the tang of sweet and sour stay
abides within the aged form
in figureless grace.
Released are we aged crones and cronies
no longer the baited traps, the pollen
for the laden prongs
of progeny.
Categories:
pickles, allegory,
Form:
Free verse
Pickles Graham 1950
In the kitchen of a large sheep station in western Queensland
at Dirranbandi the boss lady was talking to the staff.
She was going to the ball that evening and was parading about,
in her evening wear, and scarf.
Finally it came, her turn to speak to Pickles Graham.
She said, looking down her long nose.
"do you dance Pickles?."
"No missus, I spose"
“Oh” she said "You must dance Pickles?"
Pickles scratched his bonzer nose.
He said "Well yes missus,
I do the Bullockys polka missus, I spose"
"Oh" she said pretending interest, yawning,
"What is it, how does it go."
"Well” said Pickles, lightly performing.
"You grab the ladies and swing them quick
shake them, till dung flies out like bricks"
“spose”
Don Johnson
true story of old Dirranbandi
Categories:
pickles, adventuredance, dance, , western,
Form:
Rhyme
Prickles and prackles
Arizona cacti living her truth
Soaking up the sun
Twirling it in her mind
Saturating her body
Prickly not tickly
Mexican flowers enjoying the desert
Sitting in the sun
Taking her time
Sunbathing nude
Children running toward her
With open arms
And tiny soft fingers
The first time
Wanting to touch her yellow buds
And cheerful prickles
Until they do
Categories:
pickles, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Free verse
"Bread and Butter"
Fickle pickles soaked in barrels of brine,
Along with drowned rats in vinegar’s wine,
Public non the wiser,
I am your advisor,
Take Tetanus when on pickles you dine!
Pickle plants in Arkansas where cucumbers are processes soak them in barrels of salt
brine a week or so before they are then processes in jars of vinegar. The soaking
process receives many visitor rats, and they fall into the barrels and drowned. The
dead and sometime decaying rats are simply dipped out and the process continues.
“Enjoy your BREAD AND BUTTERS!”
Categories:
pickles, funny
Form:
Limerick
I'm going to free that pickle from the jar
Free for a minute but it won't get very far
In my mouth as the juices flow
Down the hatch here you go
Poor pickle was gone before I got to the car
Faleshia Murphy
FOR P.D. contest
PICKLES AND TICKLES
Categories:
pickles, funny
Form:
Limerick
Mr. Pickles escaped last night,
slinking through tall, tall grasses.
He was in a hunter's mode.
Those birds better watch their asses.
Mr. Pickles escaped last night,
hiding in leaves of green.
His family called and called his name
but he could not be seen.
Mr. Pickles could hear them call,
lying on his belly, flat.
He stayed hidden , ignoring them,
for he was a ninja cat.
Mr. Pickles has dug a hole
in the garden of neighbour Jack.
He'd best to be careful not to get caught
or he'll never be coming back.
Mr. Pickles is loved and adored
by everyone in his house.
They get so worried when he disappears
hunting for bird or mouse.
Mr. Pickles has tired of the game
and is meowing at his front door.
Now that he's ready to call it a night
his demands are hard to ignore.
Categories:
pickles, cat,
Form:
Rhyme
We cook it ! Feel your tonsils tingle!
Add mayonnaise, lettuce, a pickle.
Lost both tonsils at ten
so can I ask you when
my change comes to more than a nickle?
Categories:
pickles, confusion, food, life, parody
Form:
Limerick
Tin bath in back yard,
Full of shallots for peeling.
Pickles for Christmas!
For Brian's "Images of Fall" contest.
Categories:
pickles, nostalgia, seasons
Form:
Haiku
Silly Sally went to school.
She had few friends.
She was not cool.
Purple hair grew on her head.
And all she ate was pickles and pie.
They're delicious together.
I wouldn't lie!
A spelling Bee was held that year.
Silly Sally entered, despite all the jeers.
"Silly Sally, they taunted, you're gonna fail.
Our best spellers are Donny and Gale.
What makes you think you're smarter than them?"
But Silly Sally didn't answer.
She just ate her pickles,
her pickles and pie.
They're good for you.
I wouldn't lie!
At the Spelling Bee, she stood up in line.
And one by one she beat them all.
Donny and Gale were the last to fall.
With bulging eyes they stared at her.
"How did you know all those words?" They cried.
To answer, she gave them all pickles and pie!
Now what are the children all doing these days?
Why purple hair is all the craze.
And what are they eating?
Need you ask?
Pickles and pie
Pickles and pie
They make the brain grow.
I wouldn't lie.
.
Categories:
pickles, children, fantasy, fun, school,
Form:
Rhyme
When they’re “preggers,” some females feel fickle
And their "fancy" just some foods can tickle.
I (instead) ate and ate.
Dang it. . . How much less weight
I’d have gained if I’d craved only pickles!
For P.D.'s Contest:
Pickles & Tickles "Limerick"
Categories:
pickles, funnymyth,
Form:
Limerick
I make my own pickles but they're no good.
When it comes to eating them, no one should.
They're even worse than the ones Aunt Bee made.
If you ever eat one, you'd better be afraid.
They taste like kerosene even though they're dill.
Don't eat my pickles, they've been known to kill.
A woman wanted some rat poison but she used my pickles instead.
In less than five minutes, every rat in her house was dead.
A man just took a bite of one of my pickles and he's gone blind.
If the dumbass had listened to me, he wouldn't be in this bind.
A lady wasted her money when she bought a baby carriage.
She ate one of my pickles and then she had a miscarriage.
If you come to my house, you'd better listen to me on the double.
Don't you dare eat one of my pickles or you will be in trouble.
(This is a fictional poem.)
Categories:
pickles, funny, humor, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
Puggily Smidgeburner always had trouble with his name
Bless her, his dear mother was totally to blame
She thought it would someday bring him great fame
Then one day Prettisome Guru he happened to meet
He thought a name as bad as his a tremendous feat
With great joy his new friend he was thrilled to great
The two friends decided to open a business together
“Puggily Prettisome & Co”, a purveyor of feathers
They were open rain or shine no matter the weather
As you might guess the business was a great bust
It seems the pair was allergic to the feathery dust
Now they’re making pies with a dill pickle crust…….
Categories:
pickles, humorous, people,
Form:
Rhyme
She was fat, not pregnant, to say the least.
She filled her plate at the family feast.
Craving pickles brought her down.
Howling laughter brought her frown.
Flatulence increased, festivities ceased!
© Dane Smith-Johnsen
October 16, 2010
Categories:
pickles, funny
Form:
Limerick
sour pickles make me sick
all it takes is just one lick
dare, not truth, is what I pick
now I fear I will feel ick
to ease the torture, my nose I clip
lifting a green fiend to my lip
blah! Yuck! Would taste improve with spice?
or perhaps chill the beasts on ice?
to honour my dare, I fight down a slice
all the while hoping, my rival gets lice
05/23/12
For Catie Lindsey's CONTEST: Word Games
Categories:
pickles, funny,
Form:
Couplet
persians pickled
firm and crunchy,
thin and pint size -
spice them with little red flakes
and briny water.
pack them side by side
in a sparkling jar.
twist, pop that top,
fork-stab those
puckery suckers.
serve:
alongside a sandwich -
perhaps a plump pastrami
or
with dumplings drizzled
with thick and savory gravy
or
combine spears with choice cheese
on an appetizer plate,
pleasing to the palate.
experience the hiss, the crunch,
the sluice of slipperiness —
the bumpy pleasantly-green dill.
2/19/2020
Categories:
pickles, food,
Form:
Verse