Best Pervert Poems
Two bags of blue taped
To that square shape you call a head
Promising kindness and a safe profile
Click, click, click
Is that your heart?
Ticking like a clock waiting to attack!
On my way to work this morning,
Sandwiched between two perverts,
I opened my eyes to look beyond the sky;
Someday, I will be out of this bus!
Standing in an overloaded BRT is quite a challenge,
Different flavors of armpit odor diffused through the air;
From the rotten tomato to the concentrated ammonia and decomposing rat flavor,
Certainly someday, I will be out of this bus!
My wallet gives me hope..yes I’m saving...
Someday, I shall ride my own car,
And enjoy the warmth of its air-conditioned aura.
I shall cruise this whole city with joy in my heart,
Silently acknowledging passengers in the BRT.
As we approached the unfriendly atmosphere of Oyingbo market,
Polluted by chili pepper powder;
Passengers sneezed and coughed as they inhaled the air;
Simultaneously arguing about opening or closing the windows.
Everyone seemed confused;
I was more bothered about the phlegm from the old man that had dropped on my cheek!
Amidst all these, I still tried to wear a smile,
Yes, my fat wallet gives me hope.
I shall begin my driving classes in the coming year;
Certainly someday, I will be out of this bus!
Alas, we got to the bus stop.
Everyone pushed, squeezed, trampled upon, and cursed one another.
Everyone wanted to alight at the same time...
I waited in the now spacious vehicle of receding putridity;
Receding passengers I mean...
So I could alight in peace when the rush was over.
I checked to see that my dress wasn't too rumpled,
Lo and behold! My handbag was wide open.
?With trembling fingers, I delved into it...
Wallet had disappeared!!!
I remember an old coot named Sam Ball
For him many a young girl took a fall
He was a lecherous old fool
Yeah, I would say he was a ghoul
Young girls ran away when he came to call.
written July 6, 2021
Yes, it's me, and I fess up,
A weird and humourous thing
Could take the Golden Pervert Cup!!
And it is true, I assure you,
And it's not a thing I wanted to do....
A week or so ago, I came home
from a shopping trip,
Arms fully loaded, I was
moving at a snail's clip,
Got to my trailer door,
Attempting to enter,
And nothing, nothing more....
Well, I wore jogging pants,
I guess the tie string,
Wanted me to dance....
'Cause standing on the deck,
Wouldn't you know it, oh heck (Not you, John!)
My loose pants decided to
reinforce Isaac Newton's law....
And therefore, my neighbor's saw....
Ol' gravity remove my dignity,
And drop my pants below my knee...
Luckily I had on shorts,
So an ever so slight decency
was displayed,
Though those viewing,
when the news of this,
they relayed...
Would fall upon the side,
Like those errant pants
that bared my hide...
I rushed indoors,
tripping over ankles
wrapped in upcoming
metaphors...
I hid inside for three long days,
In expectation of police
forays...
Butt none ever came,
This sure did,for me, amaze
In fact, all seemed the same....
Now I wear at least 3 pairs
Of sturdy suspenders,
To avoid any more gravilty
pants surrenders.....
And I only go out in
the pitch dark...
Careful to avoid
being the mark..
Of white trailer trash pervert...
Oh, but the memory still does hurt.
So, you thought you have the right
To in my bed pass a night,
Not alone, with your lover,
Vulgar love-making brave,
Sensual pleasures coarsely crave…
You have my mattress defiled,
All night romances of the wild;
For hours with a pervert
Who claims she is a convert.
Now, a discolored white sheet
I’ll gladly burn in the street
To Junk Press give a story
And have you shamed Miss Glory!
Bed used without permissions
A sin not for remission.