The Reluctant Pervert
Yes, it's me, and I fess up,
A weird and humourous thing
Could take the Golden Pervert Cup!!
And it is true, I assure you,
And it's not a thing I wanted to do....
A week or so ago, I came home
from a shopping trip,
Arms fully loaded, I was
moving at a snail's clip,
Got to my trailer door,
Attempting to enter,
And nothing, nothing more....
Well, I wore jogging pants,
I guess the tie string,
Wanted me to dance....
'Cause standing on the deck,
Wouldn't you know it, oh heck (Not you, John!)
My loose pants decided to
reinforce Isaac Newton's law....
And therefore, my neighbor's saw....
Ol' gravity remove my dignity,
And drop my pants below my knee...
Luckily I had on shorts,
So an ever so slight decency
was displayed,
Though those viewing,
when the news of this,
they relayed...
Would fall upon the side,
Like those errant pants
that bared my hide...
I rushed indoors,
tripping over ankles
wrapped in upcoming
metaphors...
I hid inside for three long days,
In expectation of police
forays...
Butt none ever came,
This sure did,for me, amaze
In fact, all seemed the same....
Now I wear at least 3 pairs
Of sturdy suspenders,
To avoid any more gravilty
pants surrenders.....
And I only go out in
the pitch dark...
Careful to avoid
being the mark..
Of white trailer trash pervert...
Oh, but the memory still does hurt.
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