Best Panky Poems
I feel just like that old grey squirrel,
whose belly is empty as can be.
He keeps on searching for those acorns,
but he has climbed up a maple tree.
He worked hard and long the whole darn year,
burying his food out on the lawn.
But when he went back to grab a snack,
he had found the whole damn thing was gone.
All because some stupid bureaucrat,
said he had filled out all the wrong forms.
Now there’s nothing left of his nest egg,
to help him survive the winter’s storms.
I keep rolling the dice for sevens,
somehow, I always end up with eight.
Each time I think I’ve reached the garden,
someone has already locked the gate.
Now I’m too old to hanky panky,
and I’m too tired to even care.
Point me towards the supper table,
and just see how fast I’ll make it there.
So don’t dare ask me where I’m going,
'cause I can’t remember where I’ve been.
I’m sick of always losing the race,
Just when will it be my turn to win?
Why do I keep reaching for those dreams,
when I know they’re unattainable.
Anytime I find a little hope,
I know it is not sustainable.
Yes, I know I’m insignificant,
you don’t have to keep pointing it out.
I did not fall off the turnip truck,
with no idea what life’s about.
I know that there are no right answers,
because it’s all just lies and deceit.
But before I even start the race,
seems that I have already been beat.
If you gave a penny for my thoughts,
that’s likely twice what they would be worth.
I may be, ugly, poor, and broken,
but I’ve always been that way since birth.
All I can hope is when I’m buried
somewhere beneath a simple grey stone.
That the epitaph carved into it,
“Here lies a man who didn’t die alone.”
Categories:
panky, poetry,
Form:
Rhyme
There was a dirty old man named Hanky
Who suggested they play Hanky-Panky
Please meet me at my chateau
Your hubby will never know
She jabbed where it hurt and said No Thanky
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
panky, funny,
Form:
Limerick
Essential for a happy life, is love, money, and hanky panky
Nothing even comes close, hmmm perhaps a l'il boozing quite frankly
I may seem obsessed
As you've probably guessed
As well as some cute young fillies dressed quite scantily
© Jack Ellison 2015
Categories:
panky, funny, , cute,
Form:
Limerick
Dear Lord, I feel roxy!
I am on the move!
No need for a proxy,
Let me enjoy the groove.
Hey you! Looking swanky!
It turns out you could do
Good deal hanky-panky.
Come closer - I won't sue.
Categories:
panky, sexy, silly,
Form:
Lyric
a rustling of leaves
faerie magic underfoot
hanky elf swanky
Categories:
panky, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form:
Haiku
Lets hanky panky, kooshy koo,
Rising stiff, stripe it down, draw
the line, endorse it in delight, I
know you will, pour on the
wine, and six-shoot it slowly,in
tasted, dripped the tongue,
Locking licked lips,coated,As the
cougar counter clocks, it wisely
turning up the heat, steamed fog
hits the sheets, bursting
extremely desired,between one
another, we play, Do it here,
Do it there, where the best of
the best head comes from A
thug! I am yours, Take me now....
Categories:
panky, passion
Form:
Rhyme
Ah-choo!
Bless you!
Hanky?
Thank ye,
Got cold?
Blow nose...
Feel hot,
To trot!
Drug store,
Buy more!
Return,
Discern,
Took swill,
Nyquill,
Hanky
Panky?
Health crap,
Strength sap!
Hear snore,
Night bore,
Long sleep,
No reap,
No luck,
Gave up,
Frankly,
cranky,
Cold dour…
Shower.
1-28-17
Categories:
panky, humor, longing, sick,
Form:
Footle
I was pretty cranky when my spanky new bike was janky.
The frame was too short for my body, too tall and lanky.
The tires too fat, too hard to push up boggy maintain trails.
The deal I got clearly a lemon janky, all wrapped in hanky-panky.
The bike looked so nice out of the box, its chrome frame so glint and shiny.
The first sign of trouble was rust on the chain, which made me angry.
Squirts of oil needed on chain and axles, to make pedaling smooth.
Front and rear nuts needed tightening, else wheel retention was dicey.
I set off for ride, bike all fixed up and ship-shaped I hoped,
but the brakes did not work when handle grips I groped,
Disaster averted, just in nick of time, by dragging my feet on ground.
The handle bars were loose, the seat too nippy on bum, but some how I coped.
Back home from first ride, mad as hell, I swore I would return the heap of junk,
I found the guarantee and read the fine print, but my hopes were sunk
when I read that the bike could only be returned to get full refund,if never ridden!
So I’m stuck with my Jekyll janky skunk of a bike, deal a flunk, ego shrunk.
Categories:
panky, travel,
Form:
Free verse
Hanky Panky
Honey
My foot is taping
It’s been a while
I figure it’s gotta be almost
An hour
Baby
You know you
Drive me crazy
How you do it
Constantly
You tease my eyes
It’s no surprise
Your naughty smiles
Make me so ravenously hungry
Aw come on baby
My heart is jitterbugging
It’s been a while
At least an hour
I’ve been waiting
Since I had my
Honey fix
Let’s fool around a bit
And play at hanky panky
You make me crazy
Turn me into 140 pounds
Of Olympian athlete
I need you now sweetie
Just gotta have your kiss
My drug
Is on your lips
Let’s fool around a bit
And play with hanky panky
Baby
I just can’t help it
You’re just so god damn sexy
Even in your rollers
A radiant beauty
Even in your bath robe
A bewitchery
Everything about you
Drives me crazy
It’s only been half an hour
You tell me
Feels like longer
You gotta help me
My blood is all polka dot and jiving
Come on honey
I think I might be dieing
It’s been a while
Must be more than an hour
Let’s fool around
Play together at hank panky
Honey
You know I love you
And how you love me
It’s not my fault
Your wicked eyes are saying
Irresistibly
Maybe
You make my pulse pound
Because I can see
That little wiggle
When you look at me
And that little giggle
Is already playing
With the hanky panky
AW come on Baby
Glide on over
And end my misery
Together we’re just so good
At hanky panky
Exploding sugars
How you make me
Walk the tight rope
Of a single hour
It’s been awhile
Since we got together
And did the hanky panky
Flash those honey eyes
And bat those eyelids
Walk on over
And be my Goddess
It’s been so long since I had your kiss
My drug is on your lips
I can’t resist
Everything about you
Answers my every wish
Everything about me
Is your hanky panky
Categories:
panky, funny, love, passionme, love,
Form:
Free verse
Hanky-Panky at the North Pole
By Elton Camp
Santa came in early from the workshop
At the door he came angrily to a stop
The shocking sight that gave him pause
Frosty the Snowman cuddling Mrs. Claus
“You’re supposed to be a jolly, happy soul.
In your stocking expect find lumps of coal.”
“And I’ll just confiscate that old silk hat
And see how well you do without that.”
“And I’ll take you along on my sleigh
So you’ll vanish into water along the way.”
Mrs. Claus came up with a lame excuse,
But she was caught—there was no use
Categories:
panky, holiday,
Form:
Rhyme
JANKY HANKY PANKY
If I had an experience JANKY
would I need a bib or a hanky
would I have to say “Oh, Thank ye”
to a lady I paid just to spank me
or would I be regaled
with mutton and ales
as crusty old goats
told seagoing tales
perhaps I would weep
in a tall castle keep
awaiting a knight
to wake me from my sleep
Or, maybe, if I’m a bit JANKY
I’m just a little bit cranky
and don’t have time for the nonsense
of the slap, tickle, and pinch
But then, if the meaning is sated
I’ll be undressed and elated
but after service for four
I’ll be locking the door
for age as it passes
leaves memory flashes
a time without such “Hanky Panky”
just give me my “bobba and blanky”
John G. Lawless
9/14/2016
Categories:
panky, humor,
Form:
Free verse
A sweet young bank teller named Doris
Had a crush on her co-worker, Boris.
But one day while at work
The young clerk went berserk
When she caught Boris banging the manager, Morris.
Doris' secret admirer, Dan Danson,
Was swarthy, tall, and roguishly handsome.
But the next day while at work,
This clerk, too, went berserk,
Took an ATM hostage and held it for ransom.
Dan was embarrassed, didn't want to be caught,
And was going to shut himself up in the vault,
But Boris told him to run,
While Morris called 9-1-1,
And Doris flatly declared that it wasn't her fault.
When the S.W.A.T. team arrived on the scene,
They found everything calm and serene.
Boris told the S.W.A.T. captain that Dan
Had taken both Doris and Morris' van
And fled with the cash from the money machine.
Doris' version, when caught, was more exculpatory
And dripping with details more lurid than gory.
She'd plotted with Dan to create this diversion
To rescue her from that den of perversion,
And now Boris, and Morris, and Doris, and Dan
Are suing each other for the rights to the story.
Categories:
panky, humor,
Form:
Light Verse
Essential for a happy life is love and hanky panky
Nothing else comes close, well maybe boozing quite frankly
I may seem obsessed
As you might have guessed
Love those cute fillies dressed oh so scantily
Categories:
panky, allusion,
Form:
Limerick
Bound so tight with your silken love
tends to excite that wild beast within.
The dark of a crow and light of a dove.
This collaboration I’m eager to begin,
you leave me breathless and sweating.
I fall hard for that overtly masculine grin.
Your wet growl leaves me anticipating,
it echoes the tempo that haunts me.
Don’t say this is a game we’re playing.
Our version of forte hanky-panky,
you can’t cover this song acoustically.
Categories:
panky, emotions, lust, passion,
Form:
Terza Rima
Essential for a happy life is love and hanky panky
Nothing else comes close, well maybe boozing quite frankly
I may seem obsessed
As you've probably guessed
Love those cute fillies dressed oh so quite scantily
Categories:
panky, fun,
Form:
Limerick