Best One Eyed Poems
I once met some natives from Bahamas
Both men had the same size BIG iguanas
I was embarrassed - to say
I felt very SMALL - that day
When I saw them pop out their pajamas
Re-submitted for-
Put Your Best (One) Limerick Forward
(Be like Rico Leffanta) Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Andrea Deitrich
Humorous Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
7-2-2019
is there such a thing as one-eyed fr.ass?!
Huh.
Maybe, maybe not
ha. Do (doo? does?) frass even have eyes. I think not!
Sure looks pretty though...
if I were given the chance to choose what my poop looks like,
I'd choose frass!
Form:
You read the title correctly,
I realize that everyone's entitled to their own opinion
But, please read the entire story before you decide
Yes, I fell in love with a one eyed Minion
Like most of you I really enjoyed Despicable Me
and in it there was this one little guy
a bit shorter in stature, hair parted in the middle
Deep sigh. love at first sight with a Minion with one eye
His name was Stuart, and he was so playful and intelligent
I knew I was smitten, but alas he wasn't real
And although I could say the same about some humans...
I could not show this Minion fellow how I really feel
Wishful thinking flooded my mind
as I curled up in a comfortable chair, tired, but not sleepy
Next thing I know I appeared to be computer animated...
yet three dimensional...and yes I'll admit, it was a bit creepy
And there they were, a pack of Minions in the park
surging forward as one, looking for another leader
Then I saw Stuart nudge Bob and say, "That's her!
That's the babe that was checking me out in the theater!"
I was surprised that his speech lacked that familiar Minion dialect...
Stuart stood on a bench, and gave me the sweetest little kiss
He said, "I have noticed you in the movies, dozens
of times, but never thought I'd see you like this!"
Initially embarrassed that he knew I've watched him so often
the shame subsided as I spent the day at his place
We dined on banana flambe...and drank frothy banana shakes
Afterwards he serenaded me with a ukulele, with such style and grace
After dark, we took a stroll back to the park
Laying in the grass, I couldn't decide which shined more bright
the stars in the sky, or the twinkling in his eye
How I wished it could be this way every night
Stuart told me he thought humans were a glorious species
and that he loved me with all his heart
if it weren't for our differences in composition
we would never ever be apart
Then the sky and the ground began to buckle
All at once I was taken completely unaware
Instead of snuggling on the grass
I was reclining on that comfortable chair
I haven't seen him that way since,
I guess blu ray or dvd will just have to do
Although I miss him terribly, at least we had that one delightful day
Yes, I fell in love with a one eyed Minion, you do believe me..don't you?
2/25/16
a mean goat
eating gran's flowers
has eye to sun
4/16/2016
Twos, threes, and one-eyed jacks,
And jokers thrown in too,
These were the wild cards in our poker game,
May seem a lot to you....
But four of a kind to open,
Somewhat evens up the score,
And this was a time of fun,
And we did much, much more
This was our "Military Club"
An idea I did cook up,
To give reason to live,
For old men lost to desperate time
Who's life otherwise passed by them
Turned out an idea sublime
All got ranks in our club,
My uncles were Majors, you see
My father I made the Colonel
And poor old lowly me...
A mere Lieutenant
To drive the staff car around
This became so important to them
My idea had been more than sound
We loved our pool halls
Like most women love a shoe store,
And took turns at each others houses,
And what's even more
After pool we'd have some beers
In one of our watering holes,
And after poker later
A good meal would enrich our souls
Ah, to go one more time
Out with them,
Alas most are gone
And all I have is memories
To help me carry on.
'Twas a cold wintry day
the road was frozen white and gleamin'
a pale sun stood over the clouds
watching them float lazily by
in the corner of a street
on a flat stone, so to speak
sat an old man, bearded and bare
he is the sailor with the one-eyed look
Sat as straight as a ramrod, did he,
back to the blizzard, now astride
with fingers so numb, eyes dim to see
getting a ha'penny from a passer-by
tramps and urchins flocked at he,
told them stories of the seas, he did
with arms a'waving like sails, you see
a gleam of joy in his eyes show'd
For he'd been to the wars
sailing on the ships of Her Majesty
seen it all, he's did, and lived,
came back home to muffins and tea
t'was on the seas he lost an eye
plucked out in an enemy fight
wounded and left behind to die
but didn't, and now home and dry
Retired from Her Majesty's service, he'd
now homeless, helpless, this once proud sailor
left with neither coin, nor a roof over his head
forced to the slums, living out of the gutter
t'was a piteous sight to behold, fie it!
would'a loved to chomp on choicy bit
displayed in the streets like in mama's kitchen
but not for his palate, just to be seen
Then it came, one bright sunny day
oh, what a bliss from snow and hail
tramps and children, out to play
free from the fear of icy pain
but alas! no sign of the sailor
save a snowy effigy, and on it his comb
for while snow lasted, the snow tailor'd
a snowy covering on him; it was his tomb!
She was just a phantom gleam
In the shadow of the light
As old as the oldest dream
On a cold and tranquil night
As fluid as mythic love
As palpable as fright
Trembling in awe
In the grasp of delight
As sad as a memoir
On an empty page
As lonely as a widow
Dancing in the rain
She returned like a song
In the memory of the dead
Repeating like a nagging voice
Inside a madman's head
And as moist as the dullest thought
In a melting brain
She dribbled like a lunatic
Muttering in pain
Written by © Raven Drake
Oso the One-eyed Wino
By Gary L Thomas
...has a doubly unique perspective on this
Flat world. The depth that passes as distance
From an objective makes him subject to
Prevarications, half-truths and subtle innuendos
And makes him the lone wolf of the bear-den.
Burdened with this yoke and joke of butts his one
Eye tears more than any other.
Being a-lone visionary and trusting not
The paths that other men may take
He beats a path to the burning bush
To gain the insight of all the ages and
Finds that kisses really are a better fate than wisdom
And a bear's-hug is superior to brilliance of thought...
And beast-sex is better than the honey-laced love of Poets.
Normal, just an ordinary man
But when anger hit him think again
He turned into this vicious pain
Turning purple with anger__boggieman
His eyes would come together
Until they became one
Right above a horn would sprout
He'd scream, shout become undone
Then it would be over, changed
He would normal, an ordinary man
Back and forth between the one-eyed
One-horned purple with rage
To joyous man who played
But he was one wild son of a gun
When turning again into
The "One-eyed One-Horned Purple-People Eater"
Emotions are the ropes that hand from tree branches
Blowing in the breeze like Spanish Moss
And from these emotions love is knotted
Love
A nose that suffocates us
While ill feet dangle with gravity toe distends in reach
Yet it is we who allow are selves to dangle
One would thinks o freely
When in reality we kill are selves for what we think beautifully
Perhaps it is best to love from a fare
As long as their worth loving
Dose it mater if they know at all
Why must we string up loves ropes
When we know it will be the death of us
Perhaps love is more a blind mans world
To see beauty in ugly things
You must overcome death the ropes bring
Yet love it seems lives to trick us all
Hidden
Death in life’s clothing
But a one eyes man is king in a blinds man world
Some of us care knives
Cut lose the ropes that strangle us
Left one eye to see for all
A laugh in the face of love
But love you see is a vengeful *****
Can’t stand to not have the last laugh
So for ever on are toes
We dance around love
Leaving the club before were swept away in the mosh pit
Yet love is a shadow we can never seem to stray away from
It calls to us like fear in the dark
Tempting are hearts with visions of those we once loved
So it seems weather we suffocate now or later in are dreams
Love is death
Even for a one eyed king
Form:
You are who you are
That is how it should be
Perish the thought
You might have been me
That's not possible
I say that with glee,
There is only one I
And that has to be ME
One Eyed King Battles
I fought the bright sky, heaven and stormy sea
so quick to fight any that would dare fight me
Asking for love and life, so very little more
a master views a vast ocean from a safe shore!
Trumpets sounded a call to battle the light
so blind to hate my soul always was to fight
No thoughts of why ever bounced into my mind
a one eyed king within a world of the blind!
Now the fight is to never return to the dark
memories of great battles so evil and stark
No call will I ever take to end my new quest
victory calls for courage, truth is the best!
Robert J. Lindley
A One Eyed Golpher In A Cactus Patch
He travels beneath the sod off the spiral scene
Feeling a bit frantic from the chase he gasps for air
Only to shed a single tear to help numb the inner pain
Searching for bread a warm place to lay his head
Out comes the cactus patch to claim it's latest victim
Blackened walls that squeeze it's head so often will bleed
A one eyed golpher in a cactus patch
Outside with the coyote's howl their fever pitched scene
One lone golpher searches for grass but that never lasts
There's a battle brewing with mother nature's storm now brewing
There it appeared this strange cactus patch out of no where
Running head long it collides with the needles formation
May need of some rest on a long awaited vacation
While scrambling for morsels of bread on the ground
Ouch !
You could be a try polite to one famed golpher who is out of sight
Let's learn a lesson all strangers here I preach
Where to lay your head may seem so out of reach
I have known hard times, friend,
And I've had cash to spend.
Slept on the ground a lot,
And on a rich man's cot.
I owned cows once or twice,
Lost 'em all with the dice.
Played some cards, won 'em back -
Lost to a one eyed Jack.
Fell in love with a maid
Who wore a long black braid.
She left town with my gold -
Left me here to get old.
Here I sit in this town -
Gave it up and sat down.
I like it here, I think,
Pipe to smoke, jar to drink.
What more could one soul want?
Could be a place to haunt.
Just lie here on my back -
Think of that one eyed Jack.
For contest 120 Words for Silent One
2-9-18
a new full moon
is a one-eyed owl
gazing upon my road
by the river, near the sea.
it quiets down
the caged chaos in me
as i step on my shadow
by the river, near the sea.