Best On My Own Terms Poems
On my own terms my life I walk brave,
setting the course on the pathway I pave.
Nameless probing people uncalled, I descry
break the fence of protected privacy and pry,
ask incisive questions to slice my persona they try.
I don’t reply.
Their footprints I follow, they want with pride,
abandoning me for what I am on the wayside,
to exist as a mute formless entity dormant.
Caustic comments they make of me being adamant,
my character traits make on them negative impact.
I don’t react.
In my heart sunk in the quicksand of time weary,
emotions struggle to rise from the unfeeling debris.
The good done to me I don’t acknowledge loud,
but buds of their love bloom in me, I keep under shroud,
porous sensitivity absorbs all the feelings inarticulate.
I don’t demonstrate.
I will do what I do at free will until I finally sleep,
even if you all call me a deviant black sheep,
for life for me isn’t to fit in your measurement.
I would be me intransigent.
______________
April 30, 2023
Contest : Character Traits
Sponsored by : Angela Tune
A Quiet Conversation In Church
Someone behind me stifled a cough
Turning around, the stranger nodded back
In the dim light
I made out a determined jaw
Felt thick fingers holding on to the back of my pew
I’ve been coming here for years he said
During weekday afternoons
When the Church is empty.
I pray in the quiet
And find peacefulness
That never stops.
From it I get strength, a resolve to go on.
Pausing he asked I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here?
I answered as best I could
I pass by here every day
And I thought it was time for me to come in.
He answered
Yes, strength and resolve are important.
But they come from the inside. No one gives them to you.
I had some issues but I knew I couldn’t hide in a bottle
And so, I came back to the Church on my own terms.
Still in the shadows
He whispered
I’m a veteran
The government will give vets pills to help them forget their problems.
The Church?
They try in their own way and when you die, they’ll say a prayer over you
But your family is the only one you can rightfully turn to for help.
I told the stranger
We were new to the City
That was so crowded and expensive.
We parted but not before he said
When you find someone
Open your heart and trust them.
Outside, my eyes squinted
In the suddenness of sunlight
Signs of Spring
Were everywhere
My cell phone rang
Her excited voice telling me that she got the job
She always wanted
Finally, things were going her way
I told her
We’ll celebrate
Go to the place you always wanted to go
In her breathless voice she answered
It’s so expensive
What else is new I replied
We’re going because this is special
Because you didn’t give up
You made it happen.
And then I realized the old man was right.
(writing for the voice of my son who has terminal illness)
Reality is searingly intimate. But they say anguish,
woes and sadness are emotions best shared.
I am not saying I enjoy lamenting on them or heaping
tribulations on others if I can manage these on my own
with grace, tranquility and acceptance.
Scouring out the dregs of my past is a notion
unlike exploring uncharted territory, but like pain,
I want to stare at it in the eye, no flinching.
Yet I ask, when did all go wrong; when did the roads
become forks and twists, and steep cliffs.
But I could then peer on tiptoes over the edge, unafraid
to take leaps of faith, always landing on my feet upright.
When did the moment of divergence start?
Life then made sense. Challenges I met with daring
and a tenacity to execute and perform to perfection.
There was relevance in chumming the waters,
cloaking them with the grace and finesse
that accompanies experience and excellence.
Work was not a drag - I thrived in the eye of storms.
Memories of the past are now more vivid than images of the present -
I sense that everything seems to pause in a single still moment.
Riding on motorcycles like the devil was on my tail,
leading my co-riders zigzagging on dangerous trails -
the idea of death was a vagrant who wanders another street.
How I wish time is fungible - what I would give to be where I was,
how I was, had been, always there, complete and fulfilled -
satisfying needs, goals, ambitions - been there, done that
is not my cliche.
My heart is a stuck sled in the middle of a sand dune.
Although I am in a world of stasis, expecting nothing,
I realize I have this clarity of thought and unclouded focus
to shed fear and panic as I stare death in the eye,
so I can leave this world on my own terms.
I want to dodge self-pity, dwell on the serenity of acceptance.
There is an ethereal glow in the night sky -
it should be an insanely beautiful vista out there beyond life.
@jjote031024
All I want is time to write,
A little space,
Some oak trees and butterflies.
All I want is a cardinal to land
A few feet away
on God's terms
All I want is the spirit to work
And think and pray and play
on my own terms
That will be more than enough
Thank you very much
Now fly home, fairy queen
Your mission is clear.
Your directives are there.
I am grateful to you, my friend.
when i think of you
and i think of nothing else
No i can't stand
to not be in control
of my own mind
When i think of you
and i think of nothing else
my head gets so constipated
i have to empty you out
and when i get that way
sometimes
i need
a little bit of air to breathe
just a little bit of air to breathe
and i just
might leave
yea i just may not do a thing
sometimes i think
it's all in my head
and in my mind
you can't get away
but i know
i don't need it
you, me,
oh the world can see it
so precious is our time
mine now
you couldn't hike it
so i decide how to "alright it"
on my own terms
and i know
you had to get away from me
but why'd you have to be
where i could see
when i think of you
and i think of nothing else
No i can't stand
to not be in control
of my own mind
When i think of you
and i think of nothing else
my head gets so constipated
i have to empty you out
"the things we already know"
Will you know me in the darkness?
Will you know me in the rain?
Will my hand also be your hand?
Will my markings be your pain?
There is healing in alliance,
There is care in amity,
But my hurt was for no reason,
And my maim was desultory.
Will you go, will you go there?
Will you weigh misery?
Will you walk beside me kindly,
Will you lift my agony?
I am yours forever truly,
And my heart longs for your touch;
I can give you my dark secrets,
I can make my coldness lurch.
In my self is your true idol,
My genes are your vibrancy,
To each other we can promise,
In a bold dependency.
Will you go, will you go there?
Will you weigh misery?
Will you walk beside me kindly,
Will you lift my agony?
I can do it on my own terms,
I can fight the gloomy tide,
But if you would fight it with me,
I will be your world and bride.
Will you go, will you go there?
Will you weigh misery?
Will you walk beside me kindly,
Will you lift my agony?
Will you lift my agony?
My color is black, a color so rich,
A shade that exudes a fierce allure,
A symbol of power, strength, and niche,
In a world that's often obscure.
I am a dark beauty legend,
Born of parents who shared my shade,
And in my color, I find an ascend,
That makes my soul unafraid.
In a world that often puts me down,
Telling me that nothing good comes from black,
I know I am a gem that found,
A way to see past the world's hack.
My mind is what matters most,
My intellect, passion, and touch,
Are what make me a gracious host,
And prove that I'm more than just a crutch.
For I am proud of my color,
Of the way it makes me stand tall,
Of the beauty it holds, like no other,
And the way it encompasses all.
It's my right to be who I want to be,
To live life on my own terms,
And revel in my black beauty,
For it's what sets me apart and affirms.
I don't beg for honor or recognition,
For I know what I'm worth,
And I can shine without inhibition,
As a strong woman brought forth.
Like the black onyx that glows,
Like the moon lit sky that's vast,
I am a dark beauty that knows,
Her worth, her power, and her cast.
So, my color may be black,
But it's a radiant that's made me soar,
And like a star in the blackness, I won't be slack,
For I know black beauty is worth fighting for.
The time has come
for me to be
just a little selfish
The time has come
for me to start
to put myself first
The time is now for me to say
No
Its not ok
To live my life
on my own terms
Each and every day
Are We Far More, Deep Souls That Love And Live
Are we short lived shadows that flow on by?
Fleeting dreams in universe of vapors
Dancing images from winds of sad, lost worlds
Mere clouds formed to fill a vast empty sky?
Light orbs, flashed to signal eternal Time?
On oceans of sadness, laughter and song
Treading along, walking in wisps of smoke
Clear evidence of Fate's deep charge and crime?
Do we rest and await that great unknown?
As blind sheep in a wild, unguarded herd
Content to feed and watch blue sky flow by
As our new replacements are slowly grown?
Are we far more, deep Souls that Love and Live?
Hearts that cry out to sing, dance, touch and give?
Robert J. Lindley , 6-25-2017
Sonnet, (On my own Terms)
Note- After reading Shelley's poem, titled Mutablity, I sat down to compose this sonnet as a reply. This was originally inspired by my reading of Brian's blog this morn and my reply to it.
A scenic blue are ocean’s crested waves
with tufts of white that spill in feathered sprays
amidst the troughs and valleys of the sea.
Will time or tempest bring God back to me?
Horizons hold no hint of land or line
to separate the sea from the divine;
just miles of ragged waves that sway and dip
like drunken wains with surges of my ship.
I come alone upon a summer’s morn
to ride with tide and purpose where I’m borne,
to meet the sea at last on my own terms,
where poetry and savagery affirms.
No longer will I be the willing slave.
I’ll seize the day and vow that I’ll be brave
and know with salt and spray, I’ll come alive,
compelled by fate to awaken and survive.
I’ll listen for the seagulls in their play
while they send raucous greetings to the day.
All boasts of man the mighty sea dispels
like diamonds that sparkle on the swells.
No person lives who can command earth’s sea;
for it commands for all eternity.
All wagers with the fickle sea are fraught
with perils for each rough-hewn boat or yacht.
Brave fools with consternation venture out;
though hearts may pound and minds be full of doubt.
They promise to their god, they’ll be reborn
and keep the tryst that they had once forsworn.
Through life’s adventures we are filled with woes,
yet still set sail to where the sunset goes.
From heaven and the ancient deep, we’re barred;
while dreams peek through the portals, dimly-starred.
It is a fool who names fate’s course their own.
All folks set sail with winds and tides they're shown.
I’ll seek this blessed rage of order, quite composed
with all my inner demons now exposed.
I am getting lost somewhere in this world among a big crowd,
As I want to live life on my own terms for which I am really quite proud.
I don't want anyone to dictate me what to do and what not,
I want to be a free bird and don't want any one to tie me with a knot.
I got only one life so in my own way get it to set,
So that in future I should have anyway no regret.
I want to enjoy the life always and don't want to feel anyway sad,
For which I don't care whether others are feeling good or bad.
I got only one life then why should I confine myself in a cage,
And out of frustration whip others to discharge my own rage.
I want to remain original and cannot change myself for others' sake,
As I don't know how to act just like a fake.
But the people around you always want you to follow their own way,
So I don't want to be like them and so from them prefer to run away.
i dont want to be dependent on you but i want to be independent on my own terms which makes known to you
i dont want to say you appreciate my presence but i want to create a way which makes you say that u will realise worth of me in my absense
i dont want to follow path created by you or any one but i want to find a way of my mine and walk through it
i dont want to be parasite on anyone but i want to find light through darkness which shows new paths and which lead you to me
i dont want to lose my goals amongst all this but i want to find them and lead myself to achieve my aims
i dont to do things they way all do but i want to do things they way i do, differently and leave a mark on it
i dont want to be best but i want to be different among the rest
i dont want to say you accept me as i am but i want to open a door which makes me acceptable to you
i dont want to walk the know path but i want to walk, run the path which is less travelled and be known for it
i want to explore all areas and not just know about them superficially,
i want to be responsible only for my actions and i want to stop taking responsibilites of other peoples wrong action and reaction everytime,
i want to achieve loads and i dont want your favour or help in doing so
i dont want to do things where you walk behind me but walk along with me
The Professor had put in fifty years at the University of Dell.
It is time to step down, said those who did not know him well.
He began to teach chess, piano, and the art of puzzle making too.
These hobbies kept him alive and entertaining until the age of ninety-two.
I will go out on my own terms, he had always told his friends.
He had thousands of them by the time he reached one of his ends.
It’s just the beginning, one of his students was heard to say.
I know he is probably in heaven teaching his guts out today.
They call it lunacy
They call it a problem
They call me pretentious
They call me ridiculous
But I'm just ahead of the curve
Yeah, ahead of the curve
Truth is I'm a little insane
Blinded by all this pain
So I cut myself open
To see if it would make a stain
And no I am not vain
Nor the sum
Of what flows from my vein
And no I'm not going anywhere
The verse is my lair
So let them all stare
I'll flip them the bird
And a bit of a glare
Because it's not like I care
It's just words that I share
They call it poetic
They call it possessive
They call me a hack
They claim that I'm wack
But I'm just ahead of the curve
Yeah, ahead of the curve
Truth is I have what they lack
Not afraid to talk smack
Because with these words
I assuredly have a knack
To garner their flack
But I want you to take a look
Just open my heart like a book
And see in me an innocent
They tried to call a crook
And claimed I made a mess
But if I have to confess
I'm playing 4D chess
To get the regret off my chest
And finally feel blessed
They call it trite
They call it infantile
They call me washed up
They say that I'm done
But I'm just ahead of the curve
Yeah, ahead of the curve
And I'll be the first to say I was wrong
To call my last poem my swan song
My flow is still gold and I'm feeling strong
But when I go out it'll be on my own terms
When I finally tell the hobby so long
They said it's impossible to get close to the edge
When the world isn't really flat
But I'll knock everything off like a cat
To show how superfluous it all really is
Because Coronavirus is God's pop quiz
So call me ahead of the curve because I aced it
With my written wit
And like I said I'm not ready to quit
My words have only just got lit
They call it spoken word
They call it slam
They call me Chris
They say that I'm back
But I was always ahead of the curve
Yeah, ahead of the curve
Proper Society
A determined practitioner of misanthropy
My ungainly feet stumbling
I go about life on my own terms
To sit at a table for tea
Would find me apoplectic
No finishing school for old women
Who once burned their bras
I prefer to say my piece straight out
And watch truth bounce, like a pinball
From the walls of artifice
Polite conversation
Pass its tray to others, who can
Bend word to find themselves
A cabal of correctness
Their blinders hide them
From naked actuality