Best Ned Poems


Premium Member Zed Ed Ned Ted and Mrs Ked

My dad is bigger than yours she said.
It made me mad; I wished she was dead.
Took my anger to my Uncle Ned.
He started laughing, happy instead.

Most serious now, sick in my head,
Ran to my cousin, Goofball named Zed.
He chased me off, his face spitball of red.
With laughter shaking his feather bed.

I decided to sit in my little she-shed.
Devoured Ritz crackers ‘til I was fed.
Refused to talk to my Uncle Ted.
Who was spitting a story about Brother Ed.

I rode off on my purple and pink Moped.
Had an accident, needed bandage and a med.
The nurse who helped me was named Mrs. Ked.
Beautiful, she was a recent newlywed.

My dad is bigger than yours she said.
I was shocked for a second, but then I read
A book, settled down, no longer in my head.
Seeing the humor of Ed, Zed, Ned and Ted.

Premium Member Ned Kelly Bush Ranger

Ned Kelly, bush ranger.

An Australian bush ranger
Of Irish descent
He roamed through our ranges
With evil intent.

His name was Ned Kelly
He earned so much fame
Teaming up with his brothers
To rob was their game

He killed him, some policemen
There were three of them
And so repercussions 
From this evil did stem

When one day there came
 Knocking at his door
Some men of Authority
The arm of the law.

His life was cut short
They hung him one day
In old Melbourne town
His life slipped away

Now he is a legend
Most hold him on high
To me he was evil
And evil must die.

Vera Duggan 4 July 2014

Ned Kelly Dna

Ned Kelly
DNA
Kelly DNA found
throughout the land,
and down around the
Dungle Bore,
Fred Layton had a
strand,
He had the Kelly
earmark, wore,
his descendants
Harpers, grand,
wore the Dan Kelly
type of ear-lobe,
that DNA had
planned,
If you look at Red
Kellys' brood,
they have the
lobeless ear,
distinctive breed &
trademark proved,
Don Johnson says
it's here,
Fred Layton he was
no wuss,
clean-skins they
needed branding,
the law of the bush,
a brand to push,
the T-Bones were
understanding,
100 Dan Kellys tried
to show,
that they were not
Red Herrings,
Alone Steve Hart,
Dungle Bore did go,
double cover in his
bearing,

bloody cunning
so-n-so:}

Traps they knew of
Steves' death too,
his cross in old
Calcutta,
Dan came home alone,
from the Boer War
zone,
as the Leather-heads
do mutter
{birds of the bush}
   Don Johnson

Leatherheads have a
bump of meat on on
top of the beak....a
grey friar bird who
will talk to lonely
people in the
outback


Premium Member Interview With Old Ned

We knew he had seen it all,
a willing participant in events
considered heroic sixty years past,
still lucid and clear, a history eagerly
to be read!

"Things were different then",
was how he began each answer,
and then his voice dropped
and faded as he realized the
hopelessness of words.

"Things were different then",
was all that he could muster
to explain a world
light years away.

His slight smile betrayed
that he feared to say much more.
The meanings all had changed.
He knew that what once was considered brave
was now looked on with disdain.
What had mattered once
had become irrelevant.

"Things were different then",
had become the best response.

Ned Kelly At Glenrowen

NED KELLY AT GLENROWEN
So boy keep your mouth shut don't tell em what i'm doing...
For its jail for me as you will see if you talk it will be my ruin..
The Kelly friends swapped horses when the gang 
hid in their field...
The worn out nags were fed with bags, 
nosebag chaff and oats a meal...

Mirth and Music and some more joined Minnie 
for a rest ...
They needed to be strong to carry the men a
galloping to the west...
Fresh horses at Glenrowen to gallop and get away...
Joe Byrne was dead, heartbroken Ned, would stay  
to make em pay!...

Dan and Steve rode north, black Minnie, 
Dan rode her....
Steve Hart’s horse was game of course, 
of racing blood so rare....
Sydney then the Waler boat, with horses put to sea...
To India with remount horses, from Australia they were free  ...
Don Johnson
The 2 Missing Kelly Gang horses ..

I say 2 mounts were found belonging to the Kelly Gang 
of 1880 after the Glenrowen stoush, Mirth and Music, only two? What about Minnie the black
Race mare taken from Jerilderie during the bank holdup 1879.
We know the other two men Dan Kelly and Steve Hart
would have wanted thoroughbred horses also to outrun the following police, very important
if you  were being chased by the traps in those days. In  Ned Kelly a short life by Ian Jones 
A very interesting book, it tells of the robbery of the bank at Jerilderie, while there
7-10th February 1879,  Steve Hart took a black  race mare called Minnie when asked to by 
Ned Kelly. She was kept by Kelly friends till Steve Hart came and took her away a year
later in 1880. Dan Kelly was riding her at Glenrowen in 1880.
Having been a Jockey myself and having chased ordinary horses with a race horse I know you
can chase down horses and yard them easily on a quicker mount
My money is on a fast mare.
djohnson@scullywag.com

Premium Member When Ned Came To the Island With His Dog

When Ned came to the island with his dog
greeted by the men in bulging Speedos, 
some he knew and many that he didn't
he saw the tip of an enormous iceberg
the submerged of which would quickly be revealed
men and women would die in agony and pain.
Ned wanted to rise and rail and shout
...urine on the steps up to the Capitol
never silent...always loud and angry
in counterpoint to their deafening silence.
And that accomplished his and their agenda
so that in these days the trigger has become
accepted, resigned to, complacent
as if everything has now been put aright.
The problem is that many still are suffering...
but now the kettle's taken off the boil.
And all that's left is us to brew the tea
.
© Richard A. Martin, Jr., MD, CPC, 2016


Our Ned

As much at home
on his horse
as in his swag
the wounded bushman
was the bushranger
Ned.

Ned Kelly

Ned Kelly

A villain to some
A hero to most
He fought
He stole
And he killed
Stood up to the law
As he rode the outback
Robbing trains and banks
Helping the people as he went
Stories would be told for years
Myths would become legend
The legend would become history
Ned Kelly, the man who fought and won
The man who died doing what only he could do
He is a part of Australiana
Part of the country that created him
Made him a villain
Made him a hero
Made him a legend

Burglarising Ned Flanders

Sneak, sneak, power, power.
My little carton of milk.
God protects him.
All over the Ned.
Sneak, Sneak, twizzle of eye.
Light light, almost on.
Light, light, candle option.
Of course, rubbber.
Coming close.
Ned catches you.

Premium Member Ned

He was a beautiful Labrador
Crossed with God-knows-what.
The very first thing you noticed,
The one thing you couldn't help but spot

Was the point on the top of his head.
A very odd looking protrusion.
It made you take a second look
In case it was an illusion.

But it was real,  that point, you see,
Protruding from the top of his head.
He was a very handsome boy,
Our loyal and lovable Ned.

He loved us unconditionally
From the very first time we met.
Protective and loving and always happy
(Except when he went to the vet).

Part Russian wolfhound we were told,
That's where he got his pointed head.
Extra room for his smart dog brain,
Our wonderful Lab cross ,Ned.





for Paula's "What's the Point" contest

Ned Kelly

Ned Kelly

Ned Kelly, born 1854
Beveridge was my town
I wasn’t born with a crown.
Irish parents I have,
Dad, a transported convict
told me, when I was a lad.
Dad, with possession of meat,
Without explanation, 
Was locked up because
Of legislation.
Six months later
Dad, died, 
got on the drink
His liver, he fried.

I was only 12, the oldest boy
Helping my mum
I tried to enjoy.
Mixed up with the wrong crowd
Harry Power, he was loud.
Steve Hart,
was the counterpart.
Receiving a stolen horse
Got me convicted,
Yes of course.
Named an outlaw bushranger
All in town thought, I was a danger.
Mother imprisoned, 
I started my gang, 
It was on, I’m going out with a bang.

Had a proud moment.
Saved a boy from drowning,
Felt like a king, without the crowning.
Received a green sash for bravery,
the only moment I felt,
I wasn’t in slavery.

Ned Kelly

They'll never
box me in
laughing all the way
as shackles broke off
Ned Kelly
had never felt
so alive
there'll be others
game as Ned Kelly
to follow him.

My Granda Ned

My Granda Ned 
he was the best
he always made us grandkids laugh at all his jokes
he always made us look at the window at things that werent there 
he used to pull his ear n say "ear " making us think he wanted us for something
to every1 he was perfect 
to me he was perfect
and he was the best granda ned around 

then one day he got ill 
he was in hospital for four months 
and then he passed away 
 he was the best Granda around 
truly loved by everyone 
When the gods took him 
he went and left a huge hole in our hearts
we will always miss you granda
because you were always the best 
and you were and always will be unforgettable

Ned the Nerd Gets the Last Laugh

Ned the Nerd Gets the Last Laugh

By Elton Camp

Ned is one of the smartest boys in his school
But he is often the subject of scorn or ridicule
Although what others may think he doesn’t care
And he acts like those who hate him aren’t there

Ned is often bullied and is quite socially isolated
Very few, if any, are the girls that he has ever dated
A boy so thin as to set off very serious health alarms,
He wears his pants pulled way up high under his arms

To get along with others he seldom seriously tries
And wears thick glasses that are greatly oversize
Ned has protectors inserted into his shirt pockets
And knows about math, science and space rockets

The usual guy-things Ned doesn’t want to hear
About sports or their progress with their latest dear
When there’s something academic they need to know
Both boys and girl know that to Ned is where they go

Good looks and athletic ability after a while will fade
But one with Ned’s intelligence may still have it made
And long-term good things it certainly does seem
Don’t always go to the captain of the football team
© Elton Camp  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE ACCORDING TO FRED AND NED

Who says that books can't have babies
or be dead

Who says on another planet or airplane
that people aren't read instead

And the books might say,
"You can't read a person by its cover --
yellow, brown, white or red."

"Everything is possible
when the imagination is concerned.
All one has to do is look --
on the pages, the mind
the heart; right Fred?"

"Right Ned."

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