Best Moggy Poems
Tiddles didn’t like his new tinned tea
Fussy
Pussy
Angry Animal
Shows claws
From paws
Self catering cat
Catch mice
Tastes nice
Caught in the rain
Soggy
Moggy
Time for a sneaky sleep
Cat nap
On lap
Contented cat
Purry
Furry
March of the Footles Contest Sponsor Timothy Hicks
03~04~16
Mrs Briggs' cat.
There's plenty to do in our neighborhood,
with games and places to explore.
But you really should run,
'cause the trouble's begun,
when you hear that "meow" at your door.
A cute little tabby cat sits on the step,
all fluffy and gentle as can be.
Just try not to be dim,
as you pet it, on a whim,
It'll eat you alive for its tea!
"Tiddles" belongs to old Mrs Briggs,
who lives up the end of my street.
She thinks it's a breeze,
but there're no guarantees,
that this pussy will ever be sweet.
Our local vicar thinks the damn thing's possessed,
and I'd say that he's right on the nail.
Surprised I would be,
If I wasn't to see,
Satan's head poking out of its tail!
So if you see that tabby cat coming your way,
I beg you, don't stand there and wait,
Don't stroke it, don't pet it,
look, sunshine, FORGET IT,
Or that moggy will seal your fate!
Tiddles didn’t really like the new cat food
Fussy
Pussy
The result of the new cat food
Tiddles
Piddles
BUT THEN ….
Squitty
Kitty
Tiddles returns from a long walk in the rain
Soggy
Moggy
Contented Cat when towel dried
Purry
Furry
Any theme two liner – March 2017 Standard Contest
Sponsored by Brian Strand
03~18~17
Oh fantastic furry feline
So silent and still in slumber
White whiskers awaiting to wake
From dreams of docile dormice.
Mysterious and mesmerising moggy
Boundless beauty befalls you
Perfect plush paws and cutting claws
Bright beautiful eyes bestowed.
Oh valiant velvet cloaked vagabond
A spirit so wild and wilful
My love lies languishing in your heart
Come closer to comfort my soul.
Mum really likes her Moggy.
The cats her pride and joy.
I swear to God it"s pampered,
much more than US her boys!
The cat it understands this,
and goes out of its way.
To suck up to my Mother,
at least ten times a day!
It really makes me jealous,
so much i gotta mention.
That cat gets on my wick.
Commanding Mums attention.
So i devised a plan,
to get a little pay back.
The best form of defence
is to go on the attack!
A family "DO" was coming.
It really made me think.
A chance for some revenge.
there"s gonna be some Drink!
The big night it arrived.
My plans were put in place.
I acted all polite,
angelic round the face.
The Party in full swing.
I borrowed Gordons Gin,
and poured it in cats bowl.
The one beside the bin.
I added the full cream.
The cat could not resist.
He lapped and lapped relapsed!
By now he was well pissed!
He threw up in the kitchen.
He threw up in the hall.
My plan was on its way,
he was heading for a fall!
I lifted Moggy up,
then opened up the door,
and promptly put him down,
upon the living room floor.
He staggered round about.
It really was a shame,
poor old Mr Moggy,
he was really out the game.
My Mothers jaw just dropped.
As Moggy took a pee,
in front of all the guests
atop the new settee.
Yes revenge is best served cold.
What else can i say.
Poor old Mr Moggy,
it just was not his day!
I said the first thing in my head.
I know it was a sin.
But i couldn"t help but say,
"Look what the cat drank in!"
. Mouser.
The distillery cat was flat on his back
He’d had too much to drink.
The silly moggy his mind was foggy
He could hardly think.
It was thee day he was on his way
His time was really up.
The rules require he must retire
So he had drunk from the goodbye cup!
Those little mice they didn’t think twice
they quickly ran amok
And in no time felt quite sublime
Could not believe their luck!
Tails in the air, Mouser so unaware
Their party had began.
For life’s a must, much was discussed
Like an employee ownership plan.
“Imagine if, Mouser was a stiff
And we all ruled this place,
By and large we’d be in charge
Something we could all embrace.”
But just at that appeared a Rat,
You know what they all say.
You’re never more than through a door
Away from their decay.
“Well gee whiz, so what is this
We have an open house.”
He said with grin, “I’ll just move in
And go and get my spouse.”
The mice felt down and wore a frown
And thought we can’t have this,
Awake that cat from off his mat
Get him out his drunken bliss.
So it was to great applause
He had ended up quite upset,
They’d got the hose and gave a dose
Of water cold and wet!
Mouser howled then he scowled
Jumped up and cried aloud,
“I’ll get those mice they are my vice
They will end up in a shroud.”
The mice did flee with so much glee
The Rat it disappeared.
Mousers head felt like stale bread
His paws they went real weird.
And so it was, like an arbitration clause
Came in the Big Bad Boss.
“What’s all this noise I don’t enjoys,
I prefer a hearing loss!”
So Mouser stayed, a big blockade
And the mice he tipped a wink,
The big brown Rat, he don’t like a cat
That’s had too much to drink!
Now drink can make you think
It can feel good alright.
Whiskey can make you frisky
But it can also make you fight!
For a Scottish cat enjoys combat
As much as a Father loves his daughter,
Although there is a cure,
maybe it is obscure,
We could of course add water!
ABOUT A CAT
They found you at the bus stop in the bin.
scraggy mog with unmatched staring eyes.
The soaking fur made bones show through your skin.
How could we all resist your plaintive cries.
We brought you home and loved you from that day
A tortoiseshell with absurd velvet ears.
Remember how we taught you how to play
And climb the trees to allay all your fears
For eighteen years you clung to every heart.
Our feline friend from destination 'bin'
We sorrowed when your time came to depart
And watched as moggy heaven let you in
Sleep well my friend beneath your favourite tree.
There's a hole in our hearts where you should be.
catherine wilson
2018
MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT A SONNET
This classic cat...
Not rodent he definitely agrees...
The mere insult as he pokes his tongue defiantly...
...His intellect with pride...
...This Persian exotic with papers...
Top breed himself aware...
...Not common moggy is he...
...He only indulges the classes of
distinguished friends, and family...
...And with such a sense of humour...
...with animated gesture...
...he himself declares...
His full name Charles Bartholemeow Kelly
This beautiful beige fluff ball...
with huge orange eyes...with bushy tale in tow...
Since we brought him home to the globe...
He's grown, so beautifully
His favourite dine is KFC...
Birdie in a box...his treat
This connoisseur he celebrates...
Paw lickin' good...his purrrrs
with resonate...
He lounges in the sun...
in his leather lazy boy recliner...
...And curls up on our luxury Sealy bed...
Pillow top stuffed with silk and wool...
...with luxury nothing finer...
...He plays with his Mothers unused pink tampon...
...His test dummy mouse, he prefers...
Many occasions he arrives on door step...
...with dead unsuspecting bird...
...This classic puss comes across...
as if he is a snob...
...He comes to us for hugs, and cuddles...
and when he wants a brush...
...His bowl he often visits...
...If empty his little face with grim-mus...
...and the noises and insults he hurls...
...So he stands in front of the mirror...
...with pride and a wink he gives
...He believes he is a lion after all...
We love our little boy Charlie...
...Such a character with pride...
...So with this write...it is a tribute...
...Each day you bring us joy...
...Our little Charlie, we love our little boy...
...This little puss without boots...
discovered on trade me...
a small purse was paid...
...for this little soul filled with joy
and bliss...
...A treasure for forever he'll remain...
The Rodents’ Bane
Sphynx cats
jinx rats
A Most Unlikely Scenario
Shorthairs
court bears
Cat Catalogers
Shorthairs
sort wares
When Cats Go Formal
Bombay
Prom Day
Tranquil Lost Feline
Calm stray
Bombay
Detain the Cat
Waylay
Bombay
What Gangsta Cats Do
Rag Dolls
Snag Molls
A Cat Oration
Birman
Sermon
The Howling Sensations
*Main Coons
Feign tunes
Wet Mongrel Cat
Soggy
moggy
Sept. 15, 2022
for a Brian Strand Premiere Choice Poetry Contest
*Note: This is name for a strong, large longhaired cat that is also very sweet. Maybe it's only known about in the USA??
An offering from my slush-pile in lieu
of anything new
Santa’s sleigh crash landed in the jungle
He got caught in the branches of a tree
He had a wound that could be turning fungal
And sought help from a passing chimpanzee
The chimpanzee was friends with a gorilla
Who said, “You don’t belong up in this tree.”
And Santa said, “Now look, I’m not Godzilla,
So will you or the chimpanzee help me?”
The chimpanzee said, “Ooh-ooh, aah-aah, ooh.”
So Santa bellowed loudly, “Ho Ho Ho!”
The gorilla slapped his hand across his forehead,
“If you’re both talking nonsense I shall go.”
So Santa built a grotto in the jungle
He taught some marmosets to work as elves
A job that Santa hoped they wouldn’t bungle
And soon they would be putting toys on shelves
But then he pulled his sleigh with lions as reindeer
That was an error (soon he’d have the proof)
Although we don’t get snow or freezing rain here
Those lions and the sleigh fell off the roof
When Santa hit the ground his head was foggy
He yelled, “You lions are a bunch of peasants
Each one of you is just a clumsy moggy
So dumb you can’t deliver children’s presents.”
Their Christmas lunch so juicy that it squelched
The lions ate their fill then licked their paws
One lion looked embarrassed when he belched
And then said, “Oops, we’ve eaten Santa Claus!”
A mere whisper of a mortal is a card on a tree. Unopened. Oh what godly prowess is occurring at this time. At this the thistle of time where Theremins and terrapins catch thermometers in spins. Justification is rife. Short day is not a short night and a large whale in a pram or a cot cannot join large amounts of watered down conversation. Move not a mingling mangy moggy into a sack of potatoes as fish is the prefered diet for many of a meow meow. And next the time for the bouncy sun to call upon the planets laden with dinner trays. And all this whilst the giggling goo goo berries are in line formation. Monetary mingling making messy musical mirages. And pus. Yes pus. Oyster. Mr Oliver Oyster does not appreciate such dreadful catatonic category codes. So don't wash dishes in a four foot ball gown. Rapid is the eye that moves thrice. And circles a planetarium. Good isn't it?. Clever isn't it. Very structured isn't it? But when a ring donut carries a pixie on a hot day to a castle it is said there is much whistling. And a bird laughing in a tree. Dance. Good. Goodnight equals good afternoon and also good morning as an aura salutes an aura. Reconfiguration Z
Clouds on Dreams
To believe what we see is often a fallacy on a video
a rat attacked a cat; the moggy scared ran away but was it so
I think not video and pictures can be doctored so we are
left with a sceptical mind
Yet in the Sahara, I saw in the sky a ship sailing upside down
I know what I saw yet it was a mirage so therefore I can
talk about it without being made fun of like the day I saw
a flying elephant it was slow and met a crocodile
that loved me, of course, it was a mirage
That is why I`m fearless telling you this; you will think mirages,
was whisky involved?
There mere suggestion will send me into a rage and I will
never speak to you again.
The cat ashamed, turned around and killed the rat, just in case
you were curious. In the world, the strongest win just looks to Brazil
and what the heck was I doing in the Sahara?
I Saw A Mouse.
There's a mouse in the corner by the bathroom door.
I'm sure it's the same one I saw the night before.
With his cute pink round ears and his whiskers askew
we'll nab him and catch him before our cat see's him to.
We'll find him a new home somewhere outdoors
and keep him safe from our moggies claws.
I know there's a hollow in our big old oak tree.
We shall make him a nest so it's safe he shall be.
For if our moggy sees him he will kill him no doubt.
He will chase him until that poor mouse heart gives out.
So yes, come it's up to you and me
to make him a nest in our big old oak tree.
The thriving carnage reigns over the land
with A chaos tortured brand
on top of the Abyss in which it stands
Along the side it taints the mist
Where the var gan lays quist
A tower of the mardend pulootion
wearing the scare of it's alootion
I prasie it's uptight quiff landing
Upon the dare the darkness grows
A woumped it skialivise's it's understanding
A place noted black where the quarrel's flow
The floor shifting the shipped fool in motion
In a rooom spiting tenthly death's devotion
All houses pertained in dark narshaw
Seated in moggy filled courtyard's ashamed flaw
The bird blindingly snaring it's setting moutain peek
Seeing the window panes narrow in pale
As the nightingale sings it's call uni did pa real
Then comes to this decisions it feels
Once stored it was ready to unfold it's possessive glave
A nor-ct feared Appering face
All halls filled with noise
opening the coffins mace
while the welder posted his poise
The break in deaths tower sets in his spirit
The nightingale sitting bluntly watching
Sing bird why have u called on me
Death In The afternoon
The field mouse
So dolce
Sleeping in
A blue flower
The woman who took
This adorable picture
Also had a
Moggy
On the sofa it poured
And the lady will
Never know
What the cat did to
The mouse
As there are things
Cats do not care
Divulge
To us sensitive humans