Mouser the Distillery Cat

. Mouser. The distillery cat was flat on his back He’d had too much to drink. The silly moggy his mind was foggy He could hardly think. It was thee day he was on his way His time was really up. The rules require he must retire So he had drunk from the goodbye cup! Those little mice they didn’t think twice they quickly ran amok And in no time felt quite sublime Could not believe their luck! Tails in the air, Mouser so unaware Their party had began. For life’s a must, much was discussed Like an employee ownership plan. “Imagine if, Mouser was a stiff And we all ruled this place, By and large we’d be in charge Something we could all embrace.” But just at that appeared a Rat, You know what they all say. You’re never more than through a door Away from their decay. “Well gee whiz, so what is this We have an open house.” He said with grin, “I’ll just move in And go and get my spouse.” The mice felt down and wore a frown And thought we can’t have this, Awake that cat from off his mat Get him out his drunken bliss. So it was to great applause He had ended up quite upset, They’d got the hose and gave a dose Of water cold and wet! Mouser howled then he scowled Jumped up and cried aloud, “I’ll get those mice they are my vice They will end up in a shroud.” The mice did flee with so much glee The Rat it disappeared. Mousers head felt like stale bread His paws they went real weird. And so it was, like an arbitration clause Came in the Big Bad Boss. “What’s all this noise I don’t enjoys, I prefer a hearing loss!” So Mouser stayed, a big blockade And the mice he tipped a wink, The big brown Rat, he don’t like a cat That’s had too much to drink! Now drink can make you think It can feel good alright. Whiskey can make you frisky But it can also make you fight! For a Scottish cat enjoys combat As much as a Father loves his daughter, Although there is a cure, maybe it is obscure, We could of course add water!