Jungle All the Way

An offering from my slush-pile in lieu of anything new Santa’s sleigh crash landed in the jungle He got caught in the branches of a tree He had a wound that could be turning fungal And sought help from a passing chimpanzee The chimpanzee was friends with a gorilla Who said, “You don’t belong up in this tree.” And Santa said, “Now look, I’m not Godzilla, So will you or the chimpanzee help me?” The chimpanzee said, “Ooh-ooh, aah-aah, ooh.” So Santa bellowed loudly, “Ho Ho Ho!” The gorilla slapped his hand across his forehead, “If you’re both talking nonsense I shall go.” So Santa built a grotto in the jungle He taught some marmosets to work as elves A job that Santa hoped they wouldn’t bungle And soon they would be putting toys on shelves But then he pulled his sleigh with lions as reindeer That was an error (soon he’d have the proof) Although we don’t get snow or freezing rain here Those lions and the sleigh fell off the roof When Santa hit the ground his head was foggy He yelled, “You lions are a bunch of peasants Each one of you is just a clumsy moggy So dumb you can’t deliver children’s presents.” Their Christmas lunch so juicy that it squelched The lions ate their fill then licked their paws One lion looked embarrassed when he belched And then said, “Oops, we’ve eaten Santa Claus!”