Best Legumes Poems
Toast and jam
Sausage, ham
Cap mushrooms
Red legumes
Tomatoes
Potatoes
Eggs to try
Poach or fry
Breakfast tea
All for me
Tummy full
Last mouthful
Happy tum
Yum, yum, yum!
Day dismal
Pink bismol
This is my story about Menudo, and not the boy band Menudo
Mexican Menudo soup, known as the breakfast of champions
It’s what borracho’s, and Ricky Martin and all el mundo saludo
Chili mix, cilantro and lemon or lime, oregano, served in ramekins
A hearty feel good spicy tripe soup, honeycombed and hominy
Intestines of a cow, the stomach lining, an endearing word pancita
Who says culinary is always flattering, for it is part of the anatomy
Soup a Mexican woman slaves over, we’re grateful kind senorita
If you grew up with it, whether an acquired taste—it’s the bomb
The atmosphere is what you look forward to on every Sunday
With your familia, and then occasionally Ce Ce’s “friend” Tom
Most of the family erm, drink excessively all night long and stay
Menudo has healing powers, cures hangovers and homesickness
Save lemon for Tecate, after this concoction you won’t regret
Beliefs ring true, this broth is good for you, good for any illness
True, your uncles and older cousins will be dripping in sweat,
It’s spicy blends of seasoning flows through the blood stream,
And that’s why it is topped off with a bottle of chilled Corona
While discussing last night’s behavior, debating it was a dream
Teasing the little ones, and embarrassing they’re sister Mona
Extra lime, and beer for cooling down, served up in ramekins
Menudo, it’s the soup they call the breakfast of champions
Hangovers have come and gone, and we tend to eat less meat
My favorite recipe substitute’s tripe for Oyster Mushrooms
Tasty Menudo I made in many vegan styles, no one can beat
Chopped for texture and spiced up, the unique flavors of legumes
Successful accomplished and asombroso, serve in a bowl and heat
Very low carb diet is any diet requires less than 50 grams of carbohydrate per day
Eating a healthy diet on this level of carbohydrate restriction is impossible
If you tried
You’d be eliminating too many foods rich in vitamins
Minerals
Fiber and cancer fighters
Getting essential nutrients from foods is always better than getting it from supplements
Moderately low-carbohydrate diet
Such as this one
Includes 100 to 150 grams of carbohydrate per day
The minimum level to prevent loss of clean tissue from muscles
Organs
A high carb diet
Includes more than 250 grams of carbohydrate each day
This is appropriate for active people who are at a healthy weight
No matter how many grams of carbs you eat everyday
Fruits
Vegetables
Whole grains
Legumes and pasta
Should be the main food sources of carbohydrates
With added sugar sources kept to a minimum
Years of silence I can't recall
Tears I pant on the scrawled wall
Clothes worn in an open cell
Souls torn, drowning in smitten well
Costumes worn by zombies
Moving as mannequins, not gnomes
Legumes not grown as beans or chickpeas
Roving pass skull watchers of spumes
My heart beating slow, recurring
My voice bleating low, murmuring...
Your soothing eyes I can't forget
Looking into my eyes of regret
Your hands you stretch I can't reach
To cleanse my body and bleach
Creeds of lore I can comprehend, not detest
Breeds and condescend at my weakest
Your soft hair I wanted to smell and comb
Your touch I can sense, I goad that aplomb
I will always remember you as always
On this avenue you watch over me sideways
Each day I walk barefooted without wellington
Your footprints you leave on Kensington...
Harvest Bounty
Season of harvest, horn of plenty;
Tiller of soil reaping the fields:
Grains and legumes, hay and vegetables,
Fruits and plants, and gourd family genuses;
Filling silos, barns, pantries, and cellars.
Grapes abound, on vines climbing trellises,
And plump, red tomatoes dangle from stakes,
While apples grapple to keep from falling,
And livestock fatten on pastoral grasses.
Reaper of fields to feed the many.
Crops quenched by rains and meandering streams
Are ripened under the inexhaustible sun
And spring forth produce abundance in season.
Cornucopia spilling over with autumn goodness.
Sparring with demons, and dragons and deadheads
It bobs and weaves like a drunken sailor.
Omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient
I'm quite attached to it - joined at the psyche.
Image of an incubus twirling as I do.
Patron Saint of agony, I curse it
And relegate it to a 2nd-class personage.
Out, damn spot, out - and take the blood with you.
When I am naked, it is clad (no projection),
No libido, no tumescence, no consummation.
How's that for a declension?
When it ascends, I float in the ether.
This hermaphrodite queen is superior
To all mono-sexual beings
And since I am bound and bounded
It supplies the rope, the pins and the Worchestshire Sauce
Third person singular with plural overtones.
No objection for this object of my affectation.
Alas, the narcissus cannot not spin like lilies,
But only vegetate with the legumes.
The coda, finale, epilog await
Looming like a sarcophagus awaiting its occupant
And alcohol cannot still the tooth
That nibbles at its soul.
desert flowers bloom
as fire consumes crops--
new legumes rise
Aperitifs and hard spirits,
With canapes and rarebits.
Delicious hors de ouvres,
Accompanied by tangy dips.
Tomato soup with crouton,
And an entree of mouton;
My strawberry red sorbet:
Makes way for my releve.
Bring on the roast,
Not with melba toast;
Poor lentils of course,are the ones hated most.
Don't forget legumes,are vegetables of course!
The entremets the sweetest,of the entire course.
This cafe's hot coffee,makes me feel not to snore,
I've got to the finish sipping Bailey's liqueur.
---- Princefreakasso
(Artist and Poet)
My darling won’t have her fish fingers,
She sullenly shuns her Big Mac,
She says that she’d rather eat legumes
(It’s some vegetarian crap).
She says she don’t want to eat nuggets,
Though I tell her it’s chicken, not gold
And her mayonnaise sandwich I left on the shelf
Is still sitting there gathering mould.
And I wonder who gave her this notion,
This strange and uncommon idea
That food should be tasteless
And men should be waistless
And down pints of water, not beer.
She says I’ve turned into a relic,
That my thinking is all in the past,
My era loved wasting and contaminasting,
While her’s wants the planet to last.
And so now I’ve decided to change things.
I’ve finally decided to please.
Her birthday is coming this weekend;
I’ll buy her some frozen peas.
My neighbor, Pete, is very frustrated
For two weeks he has been constipated
Then, in Poetry Soup
I heard him yell, "Whoop Whoop!"
His laxative had been activated!
He eats spicy food and lot of legumes
Where he shows up, a gaseous cloud looms
Pete is kinda kinky
When he makes a stinky
He likes breathing in his odorous fumes
Beth's twenty years married to Pete Cooper
When he didn't flush, she said a blooper
Pete left a huge floater
And now I will quote her,
"Pete's poops always leave me in a stupor!"
One time dumbass Pete clogged up his commode
After his bowels dropped a giant load
Beth called in a plumber
Who was even dumber
He just watched as the toilet overflowed
Pete's a n a l gases continue to leak
Can't stand being around them cause they reek
When his farts are expelled
I threaten a butt weld
To solder it shut, Pete is such a freak!
No one sits near Pete at the town meeting
No friendly smiles does he get in greeting
People are of like mind
Beware of his behind
When his flatulence keeps on repeating
Beth's face becomes twisted into a scowl
She told Pete that she's throwing him the towel
Next time his fecal matter
Is 'neath the lid in splatter
She'll not clean his crap stains again. They're foul!
She won't wash skid marks from his briefs either
Nor cook bean casseroles for him neither
Beth's taken a firm stand
Gave Pete a reprimand
She's hoping that soon he'll want to leave her
You'll never know how much I gag on peanuts
You'll never know how rotten peanuts are.
Listen.
Do you want to eat a peanut
Do you promise not to heave.
Woh oo Woo oh
Closer.
Let me stuff one in your ear
So that you can hardly hear
I'm in love with Tums oo oo oo oo.
I've eaten peanuts for a week or two
Don't chew them up they come out in your poo
Listen.
Doo Wah Doo. Do you want to eat a peanut
Doo Wah Doo. Do you promise not to heave.
Woh oo Woo oh
Closer.
Doo Wah Doo. Let me stuff one in your ear
Do Wah Doo. So that you can hardly hear
I'm in love with Tums oo oo oo oo
Oo oo oo oo oo.
A tradition in our house on New Year’s Day each year
Black eyed peas on your dinner plate will appear
A dish guaranteed to bring you good luck
If you want it all year you better eat them all up
I am not a fan of those black eyed peas
So smother them in onions and ketchup, if you would please
Doctored up this way I will consume the whole bowl
For the good luck that they bring has made me a fortunate soul
So, once a year I will eat those nasty legumes
And if I really am lucky …
… next New Year’s Day will not get here too soon
For the "Traditions" contest
In his weary hour
The legumes blossom on time;
Out of jocundity in honour
Of the beautiful turf
The drowsy peasant peak.
His weird blistered palm blimey,
His nasty regalia wretched,
He produces plenty and eats small
He produces good and eats bad
To the nobles he worked,
The dark noxious pest
Ravage and wrest
The peasant-shaddock
This tonic the dressy peasant
A nocturnal haunter.
This extempore task
Demoralizes his sinew
His swansong
Rhythmically envelops
In serenity and drone.
Each rising smoke
Nervous him to move.
This previous eyes
That know no peace
By the smiling scorching sun.
At the dark hour
He puts on his clogs
And marched to the farm shack
There he finds the beetles
On the yam.
The great anxiety of the peasant
Is the bragging fire of winter
He fasted to lull it
He became gaunt
The sturdy peasant.
The time unknown: the blazing fire
Burnt the bedecked bower
The ranch house and the lettuce
Barefooted staggered him
To the farm with his straw hat
And met the yelling ashes
The cracking twigs of cocoa plant
The peasant live no day
Longer than that and slept
there is no mother nature ~ mere reality with her rolling pin
spreading an infinite universe ~ with no instructions on a tin
bring humanity into the mix ~ a strange ingredient comes in
the spit of droll intelligence ~ from our salivating menippean
# # #
Still from May Day, to the Summer solstice in June
a Helios vegan picks his nose daily, of the greenest legumes
By
David Kavanagh
Of the legumes family
They call it Albizzia Lebbeck
From Africa, her homeland
John VI took her, to Brazil
Where her bark for tanning
And for the timber industry
Her forage foliage
Are self-donations
Pleasant appearance
It is their foliage, with flowers
So unobtrusive; the fruit of African flavors
That the number and size
Are yellow, slender pods
However, very elongated
Like long has become a lesson
The overnight that lasted
Five hundred years of slavery