Best Lay Off Poems

An apple every day, he said to me.
Berries too, for your recovery.

Can I have just one small slice of pie?

Doctor nearly glared into my eye!
Even...

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First off Destroyer, you should thank me.
The fact that I've titled this in honor of you is going to bring you much notoriety,
not to mention...

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It was constipation, you know
                    ...

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The Cookie Monster

I’m so determined this time.
Nothing can stand in my way.
I’ll lay off the chocolate and wine,
And lose all this weight I have gained.

I’ll...

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Dear younger me,
There are some things that I would say
to help you out along the way:
mistakes I’ve made and deep regrets,
things I would change you’ve...

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Did you ever see a cow with a green eyebrow

If you did, you'd best lay off the hooch

Hooch in moderation is acceptable

But if you see...

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The surrounding grounds were prairie grasses and brush.  Trees were 
scattered along the west boundary while the eastern area was furnished with a 
heavier...

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Fin, a comical inventor of renown,
Latest invention had caused such a frown,
His talking chemist scale
Made many people turn pale,
Just after putting their coin down.

"Don't park...

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ST. Paddy Day today. I'm wearing my green, and I celebrate with my 100th poem posted 
since coming here before Xmas! and I will probably...

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The year without Santa has a special twist,
He caught a cold from giving a kiss.
He coughed and sneezed,
Cussed his runny nose,
He put on wool socks...

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The Gaspe Peninsula dancing to music only she can hear,
            She starts in the...

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Wanting what I can’t have,
That seems to be my M.O.,
Why I keep doing it I’ll never know,
You’d think I’d understand that I can’t have it;

(Yeah...

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A tribute to the late, great Victoria Wood x

Arthur and Mandy sat one night
When he gave her a dreadful fright
Ripped off his jumper revealed his...

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The magic word for today is “giggle'
Just think of all the cute little piggles
With curly tails
And painted nails
OOOEW! Better lay off the Kibbles...

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Once in a blue moon
The stars align my way
It always starts out looking
Like it’s going to be my day

I thought I’d take a picture
And then...

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