Best Kidney Poems
I’ve got a kidney stone
Trying not to moan
It hurts me deep
Trying not to weep
Sweep away the pain
Down the bathtub drain
they shake, rattle and roll,
calcium balls not for my soul,
every time they move,
it's not my groove,
I warn them to stop
and quit doing the hop,
the doc threatens to laser,
a form of using a teaser
I've got the kidney stone blues
in the middle of the night,
they wake me up with a fright
as they roar and rumble
within my kidney while they stumble,
shuckin and jiving to a beat,
twisting and turning with defeat,
the ache lasts and ain't no fun,
grabbing a pain pill on the run
I've got the kidney stone blues
There was a young bloke from Sydney
Found a large stone in his kidney
Went into a Doc
Who took out the rock
Surely felt better then did-n-ee
A Kidney Tale
It is a sorry tale that greeted this writer in his early morning read....
Of a schoolboy and his kidney that had to be separated in earnest..
Headlined Boy Loses kidney After Falling Into Uncovered Manhole...
It happened somewhere there in Klang, a very bustling urban town...
There is even a picture of the manhole, gaping wide in its unholy glory..
Even of a woman in the picture, who is shown sidestepping it nimbly...
Reading further, it is distressing to read how an innocent boy of 15...
In his usual short walk towards school on one fine early morning....
Ended up in hospital in excruciating pain and a swollen abdomen...
One of his kidney had to be removed in order his life is not endangered..
A most startling observation was his innocent comment about manholes...
He said there were a number of them, mostly uncovered and all gaping holes...
To his credit and pedestrians there in general, one has to be nimble....
One has to be quick if one is is to avoid falling into a whole lot of trouble...
Our boy hero in this tale of misfortune, he suffered and lived to tell a tale...
Of the gross dereliction of duty in the government officials in maintainence....
They need to maintain the pedestrian walk, how could there be manhole traps..
With the many manholes left gaping wide, danger threatens at every step...
To a man in the street, paying local council assessments and various taxes....
It is not too much to ask that public facilities be proper and safety standards be uptodate..
The poor boy in this tale, his loving parents, they are sorely aggrieved and angry..
Legal action is in their next plan of action, may they get their kidney's worth of damages...
But as the picture shows, those manholes are gaping wide and still uncovered...
They are there, lying in wait, hoping to catch some other unfortunate passerby..
Oh how very sad the depths of apathy and the indifference of the local councillors..
Neglecting their duties, they are very guilty for this rather sad and sorry story..
http://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2016/02/13/boy-ruptures-kidney-after-falling-into-uncovered-manhole/
http://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2016/02/21/teenager-who-lost-kidney-in-manhole-accident-to-sue-klang-council/
Kidney Failure
Written: by Tom Wright
3/11/2018
High potassium,
Means Hyperkalemia.
And today I’m there;
Haiku
Kidney pie, what’s really inside?
What in the world do they have to hide?
Why name it a pie, if meat you tell?
Pies should be fruit and maybe strange gel.
And if it’s a kidney, well, that’s organ meat,
And I’m not sure if I care to eat
The filtration organs of some food beast,
While pretending that I’m at a feast.
What means Spermatorrhoea??
Excessive emission of semen without org-sm or er-ction.
Semen is a whitish fluid that contains sperm.
Spermatorrhea is a disorder in males where an individual
experiences involuntary ejaculation or release of semen
without er-ction.Epithelial cells per high power field(HPF)
in your urine.Having a moderate number or many cells may
indicate:a yeast or urinary tract infection(UTI)kidney or liver disease.
The Heist of the Kidney Beans
By Elton Camp
In Pascagoula, Mississippi a burglar did grab
Several times from the drug store some Lortab
The Fred’s store manager very angrily griped
Although Lortab was the only thing he swiped
The pharmacist decided he would make a decoy
So a funny trick was what he decided to employ
Thief came but the pharmacist wanted to throttle
He found only kidney beans in the Lorbab bottle
(Note: true story)
Sunday morning up with the lark,
I went jogging in the park.
Suddenly I felt pain in my sides,
soon I started taking long strides.
I went to the doctor immediately,
I needed help desperately.
The doctor smiled and wrote me some tests.
Clinic visits I always detest.
The doctor told me I had crystals,
no not diamonds the oxalic one.
The doctor said wrly "don't worry my son."
"I can turn them into small pieces by surgical procedure",
the doctor said proudly giving my brain untimely seizures.
How was he going to break them small?
how were they going to pass?
Never could I imagine that such tiny stones could also harass.
Not all stones are diamonds,
some are kidney stones,
The pain these tiny crystals inflict can make you simply atone.
Passing these tiny stones was no easy task,
no better punishment for all my sins I could ever ask.
Finally the stones departed,
passing them was not for the softhearted.
Don't underestimate these tiny stones,
they can make grown ups moan.
Eat healthy ,stay fresh and take care of your each bone
and
please beware of the kidney stones.
Contest: Stones Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Anthony Biaanco
Lighter yellow pee = is good 4 the kidney :-)
So drink plenty of water, especially if it's hotter!
Cuz kidney stone pain's not what I consider gain!
Eat low-oxalate / sodium, & more fresh foods -- yum!
God made man perfect
And planted
Two bean-like objects
Inside his abdomen
And warned mankind
Not to eat the forbidden fruits
But mankind failed to listen
And took
too much Salt
And took
Too much Soda
And took
Too much proteins
And took
Too much carbohydrates
And took
Too much fatty foods
And took
Far too much spirits
That landed mankind
With Renal failures
Kidney Beans
For lunch:16 kidney beans, more
than
enough, but no more than
that in quality is
more than
enough but
no more than
that is
quantity.