Best Kidney Poems

I’ve got a kidney stone
Trying not to moan
It hurts me deep
Trying not to weep
Sweep away the pain
Down the bathtub drain...

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they shake, rattle and roll,
calcium balls not for my soul,
every time they move,
it's not my groove,
I warn them to stop
and quit doing the hop, 
the doc threatens to laser,
a form of using a teaser

I've got the kidney stone blues

in the middle of the night,
they wake...

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There was a young bloke from Sydney
Found a large stone in his kidney
Went into a Doc
Who took out the rock
Surely felt better then did-n-ee...

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A Kidney Tale

It is a sorry tale that greeted this writer in his early morning read....
Of a schoolboy and his kidney that had to be separated in earnest..

Headlined Boy Loses kidney After Falling Into Uncovered Manhole...
It happened somewhere there in Klang, a very bustling urban...

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Kidney Failure
Written: by Tom Wright
3/11/2018

High potassium,
Means Hyperkalemia. 
And today I’m there;

Haiku 
...

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Kidney pie, what’s really inside? 
What in the world do they have to hide? 
Why name it a pie, if meat you tell? 
Pies should be fruit and maybe strange gel. 

And if it’s a kidney, well, that’s organ meat, 
And I’m not sure if...

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The Heist of the Kidney Beans

By Elton Camp

In Pascagoula, Mississippi a burglar did grab
Several times from the drug store some Lortab
The Fred’s store manager very angrily griped
Although Lortab was the only thing he swiped 

The pharmacist decided he would make a decoy
So a funny trick...

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Lighter yellow pee = is good 4 the kidney :-)

So drink plenty of water, especially if it's hotter!

Cuz kidney stone pain's not what I consider gain!

Eat low-oxalate / sodium, & more fresh foods -- yum!...

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God made man perfect
And planted
Two bean-like objects
Inside his abdomen
And warned mankind
Not to eat the forbidden fruits
But mankind failed to listen
And took 
 too much Salt
And took 
Too much Soda
And took 
Too much proteins
And took 
Too much carbohydrates
And took 
Too much fatty foods
And took
Far too much...

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Did you even want to be found?
I took my shackles off and formed a search and rescue team 
But did you even want to be found?
You’ve been running all your life I think you’ve aced this marathon 
Just come home to me and sprawl out...

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Kidney Beans

For lunch:16 kidney beans, more 
than 
enough, but no more than 
that in quality is 
more than 
enough but 
no more than 
that is 
quantity.
...

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What means Spermatorrhoea??
Excessive emission of semen without org-sm or er-ction.
Semen is a whitish fluid that contains sperm.
Spermatorrhea is a disorder in males where an individual 
experiences involuntary ejaculation or release of semen 
without er-ction.Epithelial cells per high power field(HPF) 
in your urine.Having a moderate number...

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Sunday morning up with the lark,
I went jogging in the park.
Suddenly I felt pain in my sides,
soon I started taking long strides.

I went to the doctor immediately,
I needed help desperately.
The doctor smiled and wrote me some tests.
Clinic visits I always detest.

The doctor told me I...

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