Best In A Jiffy Poems
* Collaboration of Limericks written by Jan Allison,
Tom Cunningham, Tania Kitchin and Lin Lane
Here's a news flash, the latest scoop
There are parasites in the soup
AI bottom feeders
Poet superceders
Those who cannot write worth a poop
Artificial intelligence is smart
But never uses words found in the heart
Some dolts use it to cheat
Thinking they are discreet
We should hit them in their butts with a dart
They say AI is here to stay
But plagiarism is another way
Some may copy/paste Poe
Or other greats you know
Add their name, it's sorted way hey!
We know you're fake and using AI
Your poems are nothing but a lie
Wanting to be cool
but instead, a fool
Now you can just leave our site, goodbye!
Some poets get Poem of the Day
It's AI, (of course they don't say)
AI contest "winners"
Are poetry sinners
Does admin prevent them - no way!
Real poets write using only their hand
AI users need more'n a reprimand
Deleting their accounts
'fore their winning surmounts
There should be a way they could all be banned
Stay put, no need to get out of bed
Or have a thought in your empty head
So, just ask Alexa
And she'll write it for ya
A shame you can't use your brain instead
What is your real poetry name?
As fake poems seem to be your game
All Plagiarism and AI
We're really not sure why
Your page is pathetically lame
Pestilence borne in the form of AI
Not of Biblical proportion but why
do you have need to chouse
Poets' concern and rouse
the community to feel so awry
On the day AI begins its world rule
People will still call each other a fool
Is the human race then doomed
AI will have us all groomed
To serve them as lowly slaves, a footstool
I asked a generator to write a Limerick, its response was...
An AI that wrote with great flair,
Could craft limericks beyond compare.
With rhythm and rhyme,
In a jiffy, each time,
It brought smiles to faces everywhere!
This was my response
No! au contraire, AI generator
Not everyone smiles at your creator
I will admit you're quick
but it's deceptive schtick
You're a bad poet's ego inflator
I am in my house,
With a panicked mouse.
Coming back from the fridge
Going through the sand-ridge
Into its hole in a jiffy
Then squeaking out - Yippee !
Then come two rats
With a hard pat on the back
Running along with its mate
Making things obfuscate
Around the bagful of nickels
Crossing the jar full of pickles
The rat and its mate came back trotting
With a block of cheese that was rotting
After some time in a line
Came a parade f rats and mice
With and hats and lice.
Everyone was mournful
But a mouse eating a mouthful
Who was happy and glad
Was making everyone sad.
He ate with nosh
Wearing a hat that was posh
After hogging and stuffing
He got up puffing,
Ready for his quest
Sqeaking good bye to the rest,
He leaped across a runnel
And ran into a thicket
Never to be spotted again.
You could feel it couldn't you
son who has left the room
mother electricity
the 1,000 bolts
10,000 volts
(not even 27 years could cure)
I give myself over
I fall
and I gladly go
i swan dive
to rock bottom
I will face that stone
I will smack
I will crack
Nd still I will be reborn
caught on a wave
so Drakar delicious
it sticks to my skin
and I stay close to it's heavenly scent.
this perfect
nameless thing
I am a lost puppy aimlessly circling
in an undertow
a tamer of wild lions
the gladly caged walking the plank into a cushion of clouds
moon walking
dream talking
smiling for my day of execution
if only you could measure the room
see the lightning
see the electricity
of soon to be lovers
joined with the power
the power
of love?
why i could make love in the air yet
i could be completely clothed
swaddled
in bondage
and still I could make love.
who needs kisses
They are there in the air like raindrops
currents
fresh flowers
fruits that can be taken by the armload
they are in the molecules
the atoms
the tributary
the neural net
a direct link
to the future we
all else palls in comparison
becomes laughable
i recognize the breadcrumbs
from the bread
the utter peace makes me a want Snow White sleep
makes me want to surf the day in my elven' dreams
to keep my secret safe from time
to firefly fly or to catch in a jiffy jar
what is us
Our lovely mad chemicals combining
our arcs & magnificent architectures
explosions too delicious
to taste...(or keep?)
The sun plunged
In the space of silence,
The summer has been extended
In a slow wandering ...
The orb has been drunk,
Gradually, by fringes.
> We did not hear anything,
From the fall of the angel ...
The horizon has folded its wings around
Confusing the distants ...
Evening invades what remains of the day
In a jiffy.
Water reflections exchanges
The colors overrated,
With the sky full of oranges,
The trees are just silhouettes ...
The night the already marks yesterday
This is a timely opportunity,
Where piercing welcoming clouds
unfolds, shamelessly ,the moon ...
It will take an earth tour,
And plenty of patience,
For the solar triumph reappears
In its rebirth ,
As clarity rises
And progresses slowly
Until the most intense moment, at its solstice,
To the top of the firmament.
And the celestial body draws, now
All things , in gold drops ,
..... - And this is another day.
It drinks in his turn and evaporates it....
-
Le soleil a plongé
Dans l'espace du silence,
L'été s'est prolongé
Dans une lente errance...
L'astre a été bu,
Petit à petit, par franges.
> Nous n'avons rien entendu,
De la chute de l'ange...
L'horizon a replié ses ailes, autour
Confondant les lointains...
Le soir envahit ce qu'il reste de jour,
En un tournemain.
Les reflets des eaux échangent
Des couleurs surfaites ,
Avec le ciel tout en oranges,
Les arbres ne sont que silhouettes...
La nuit, marque déjà l'hier,
C'est l'occasion opportune,
Où, perçant des nuées hospitalières,
se dévoile, sans pudeur, la lune...
Il faudra un tour de terre,
Et beaucoup de patience,
Pour que réapparaisse le triomphe solaire,
Dans sa renaissance ,
Que la clarté se hisse
Et progresse lentement,
Jusqu'au plus intense, à son solstice,
Au sommet du firmament.
Et l'astre dessine maintenant ,
Toutes choses en gouttes d'or,
..... - Et c'est un autre jour.
Il le boit à son tour, puis l' évapore....
-
RC
Your light delights me,
i say your light delights me Lord.
Timber burns and leaves behind impotent ash,
your sun shines day to day without any ash .
Your light delights me King of kings.
When i am condensed like winter cheese,
the ray of your light makes me flow.
When i become cold like puppy's nose,
your light restores my heat and life.
"I am the light , I am the life..."
daily i check, your words are your deed.
Rock of ages please tell me:
with what incense do you flare your light
that it is so fragrant and so comforting?
With what do you fuel your sun
that it radiates without any smoke?
Tell me the wax for your eternal light
that shines ceaselessly without any wick.
The day i lit my paraffin lamp,
smoke enveloped me like burning field.
The day i lit the candle wax,
wind extinguished my light in a jiffy.
The day i called battery lamp a Vulcar,
i was left in the dark holding empty cell.
But sweet is your sunlight darling Dad
that neither wind nor storm can humble.
Glorious is the ray of your light
that no cloud can shroud.
I pray you find me a place in your sun,
to abide and walk daily in your light;
i pray you make your light my beacon,
that i will not miss my way and my steps.
"O Yellow Lily! You smilingly bloom
Early in the morning in my terrace garden,
In a jiffy, you take away all gloom,
Tell me, in front of you, can any heart harden?"
"O White Lily! What makes your face to brighter shine?
What do you nod at behind my kitchen window?
How do you dress so beautifully every morn?
Lovely your visage, each detail crafted so fine,
My heartbeat, seeing you, reaches a crescendo,
I write to thank you, my heart's with happiness torn."
"O poet! I bloom where God has placed me,
Bursting at crack of dawn, just as He tells me to,
If on seeing me, your gloom turns to glee,
That's all His doing, I'm just a lily for you."
"O dear friend! I've learned to enjoy my life, it's short,
To God, my Creator, I'm nodding back my thanks,
For He clothes me majestic, though I'm mere flora,
Here today, gone tomorrow, I bud to exhort -
Live without worries, He'll provide from His rich banks,
Thank God if you would, shine for Him each aurora."
Even the lovely lilies of the field
Remember to praise God, how then can I forget?
As long as I live, my lips can't be sealed,
Great lessons I have learnt from these lilies I met.
04/11/17
1st stanza- Strophe
2nd stanza- Antistrophe
3rd stanza- Epode
Rhyme scheme: abab cdecde, abab cdecde, abab
Syllable count : 1st and 2nd stanzas: 10 12 10 12 12 12 12 12 12 12
3rd stanza: 10 12 10 12
the fire hydrant comes handy
first and fore most it saves lives
but to walk a dog in the city
it's a place of choice
better than the lamp post
and a tree we leave alone
as on a leash I am directed
to do my business in a jiffy
and always a piece of paper
as it degrade and never a plastic bag
to reach the next garbage can
she is so crazy but I love her
NEUER THE ACHILLES
Horse power?
Let the horses keep their power
Neuer power is now the toast of all
The day all cats chose their king
It was Tiger that first wore the crown
But Lion roared, bore his fangs
And bristled up his mane like Tsunami
In a jiffy he dethroned the Tiger
Then came the king of catch-
Whose ribs are breastplates
Whose hands are magnetic tongs-
Neuer the Achilles:it was him
That shamed the lion and won the crown.
Neuer the omniform
Massive rock at duty post ;
Egal where comes the bullet:
Left, right, corner or centre;
It comes from corner,
He coils on it like a python;
It comes from centre,
He broods ball like mother-hen;
When the gunners come closer
He unfolds himself like an Ostrich taking a flight
And exclusively ward them off
Like a mother-dog chasing intruders
Away from its puppies.
Daredevil the goalkeeper
Keel that keeps the ship afloat:
It dares the oceans and shuts them out
Says cargo hold is for smile and not for tear;
In the air he is a parachute
On the ground he is yak or cyclone
Open or close the net snores
The posts say, ‘it is holiday today’
The ball says, ‘ I am on safe hands today’
Only the gunners keep gnashing their teeth
The pains of stillbirths wet their eyes
Who shall take me to Deutschland ?
Who shall take me to Bayern- Muchen?
Let him that will take me to Neuer come now
I can’t wait to meet the Archilles.
Ade Kayode Adebayo
Jan. 2014
IF I COULD SPEND A DAY WITH YOU...
If I could spend a day with you, I'd be happy,
we'd never get enough of each other's company.
Our poems and write-ups will embrace unity.
Our inks will make love in the nights enmity
as we stain the sheet with creativity.
We'd hold hands strolling with a coffee,
grip each other in timeless euphoria like a trophy;
But you're worthier than all the biggest trophies.
Kissing is your art, I'd paint you with kisses,
And bask in the glory of heavenly drizzles,
Write you a poem that'll rain beautiful tears
Off your hazy eyes that'll wash off your fears.
I'd wipe away your tears when you feel blue,
every day, I'd tell how much I cherish you
I'd stare into your eyes, & without a single word,
We'd flipped feelings over the board.
If I could spend a day with you,
there is no height we wouldn't scale through,
I'll be your chandelier & make your night colorful,
leave an impression, I'd make you gleeful,
the holy grail is to make you esctatically happy.
I'd cuddle your brain & crack you up in a jiffy,
telling riddles & tales about motherland, Africa.
And when my day is spent & our bond bigger,
I'd made you more happier and freakier,
a memento of our memories rises at every flicker.
Reminisce our memiors now and forever.
Vick Manuel Poetry {VMP}
Form: Rhymes
Copyright ©? March 2023.
Ralph had been a happy pup
running and jumping and playing
Greeting our family with affectionate licks
eagerly learning a barrelful of tricks
Then one day, Ralph went kerplop
his doggy motor just plain stopped
Only four years old, he decided 'life's over'
farewell to days chasing bees in the clover
Eating and sleeping, our Ralph waxed fat
No one knew where his poor head was at
Then we found him a 'Rhoda,' and in a jiffy
Ralph came alive again, decked out and spiffy
Now Ralph and Rhoda have six pups of their own ~
'Cos there's more to a dog's life than fetching a bone
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain
Much like some people I know
Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating
I'm ravenous in an hour or so
A pregnant goldfish is known as a twit
That's a sight I've never yet seen
A giraffe can clean its ears with its tongue
Wondering what else it can clean
The youngest Pope was eleven years old
Barely toilet trained they say
Most lipstick contains stinky fish scales
From kissing I'm staying away
Originally Coca Cola was green in colour
It surely turned off a lot of folks
The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle
I'm not kidding, it isn't a joke
Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland
Coz he didn't wear anything below
Mel Blanc who was the voice of Bugs Bunny
Was allergic to carrots I'm told
“I am” is the shortest sentence in english
“I'm not” runs a very close second
A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce
Without coffee in bed from her husband
A “jiffy” is just a hundredth of a second
I'll be back in a “jiffy” as they say
Sometimes it can stretch to an hour or more
So now what would you call it I pray
© Jack Ellison 2013
What's 111,111,111 times 111,111,111
Answer 12,345,678,987,654,321
Now that's AMAZING!!!
When I was two and twenty
The lassies were abundantly plenty
And dance all night long
Was not the name of a song
But something we all did aplenty,
Then there came three and thirty
The women became much more flirty
And all knew my name
For I was king of my game
And I never did anyone dirty.
Next I turned four and forty
And I started to gain much seniority
The men called me Sir
And all the ladies would purr
For I was a man of authority.
Now that I'm five and fifty
My game has turned a bit shifty
The ladies are few
I need my dentures to chew
And my dancing is done in a jiffy!
Timothy I. Brumley
COMPARE TOP TERM PLANS IN JUST 60 SEC!
I am the soul of all the Grecian Gods you have revered and penned
I know no matter what happens to you, you will come back to us in all ardency
The gods always test their worshippers, you know that, don't you?
You have made your home the temple of Jupiter. Very appreciative!
Now, move out of your blessed walls for a sterling holiday to Mount Olympus
You can't import an ancient religion into a completely different environment!
The whole point of it is that you keep your gods sweet and generous
- you scratch our backs, we will scratch yours to your hearts content!
High time you realised we establish a quid pro quo relationship
You have dared to make us only simple offerings of flowers, candles, incense sticks
Do you think titanic strengths can survive on such fancy stuff?
We the Greek Gods have a solemn protocol to suit our palates
You who have only slaughtered vegetables on your chopping board
Will watch and learn ritual sacrifice at the altar outside the temple
And then with your magic fingers in a jiffy overload our feasting tables
With an assorted array of the worlds best meaty cuisine and wine!
How could you just foolishly forget our hard taught lesson-
The way into hearts of the gods is through their stomachs?
The gods betray their anger that you have never ever attended their Summer Solstice
We the Greek Gods love romance, music, dance, sweet whispers on moonlit nights
Have you ever taken our breath away with a mesmerising song and sensual dance?
Come and beguile us in your skimpily robed flowers at Mount Olympus festival
Age is no barrier if you oblige to dance on a moonlit night,
Sybil won her youth from Apollo, you see? Why lose yours?
Compare our top term plans in 60 seconds-our final barter system with conditions-
We fulfil your desire for the topmost slot in your simmering soup contest!
You scratch our back, we scratch and scratch and scratch your fragrant flowery back!!
THE BEST DEAL! GOOD! THE DEAL IS FINAL!!
October28, 2015
Contest:Any poem#34 Contest
Sponsor: Poet Destroyer A
(Earlier contest
Oct. 9, 2015
Competition: You Want It Bad -Then Bribe Me
Sponsor: Casarah Nance)
Ye might be feather light, lean or leafy,
You scarce can a spot kiss in a jiffy,
Till a bird be of flight
That flies faster than light,
Jiffy is a birdie a bit iffy.
________________________
Jiffy is equal to about 33.3504 picoseconds (one trillionth of a second). Now, to reach anywhere in a jiffy one must travel one centimetre faster than the speed of light. Can you?
Tongue-in-cheek | 13.03.2017 | humour
The girl in the red dress was broke
She needed to earn some green from a rich bloke
She donned some white overalls and got a job to paint
The bloke gave her some blue paint without complaint
She was given the job to paint the porch blue
And finished in a jiffy, too good to be true
The blue blood asked "How did you finish so fast"
What she said next made him see red as he gasped
But she said it quite clearly
"That's not a Porch its a Ferrari"
For: Show Me The Funny Contest