Best Horseradish Poems
Sure.
Ketchup.
Pickle
Horseradish too.
Mayo
Lettuce?
That’s up to you.
Are your patties thin or thick?
Can I gobble one down right quick?
A touch of butter
A slab of bacon.
Please put them on
If mine you’re making.
Are your patties thin or thick?
Can I gobble one down right quick?
A tribute to Hollywood Squares
Q and A changed a little somtimes to rhyme
If you decide to pet a dog
Everyone knows it'll wag it's tail
What's the reaction you get from a goose?
"Of course make him bark, without fail!" .....Paul Lynde
Long ago when your great grandpa
Put horseradish on his head
what was he really trying to do?
"Put it into his mouth instead!"......George Gobel
The question was very simple
The answer had all enthralled
Can boys join the campfire girls?
"Only after, lights out, is called!"..... Marty Allen
When a couple has a baby
Who is responsible for it's sex?
The answer, "I'll lend him the car"
"It's up to him what happens next"..... Charley Weaver
You've decided to grow strawberries
Are you getting any the first year?
"Of course I'm not getting any"
"I'm busy growing strawberries here!"..... Charley Weaver
If you're going to skydive
At least how high should you be?
"Three days of steady drinking"
"Should just about do it for me!"..... Charley Weaver
True or False, a pea can last
As long as five thousand years
"Sometimes it sure seems that way" .....George Gobel
Had everyone laughing to tears!
The chicken soup and matzoh balls
Are ready for the pot.
The hard-boiled eggs are in the fridge.
(We never eat them hot.)
The items for the Seder plate
All wait for their debut,
With my homemade charoses.
(Google if you have no clue.)
The chicken cutlets, farfel-topped
And stuffing made from same
Will share the table with some veggies,
Sautéed to acclaim.
Of course, there’ll be gefilte fish
With horseradish (so hot!)
And grape juice or sweet Kosher wine,
Which really hits the spot.
With home-baked brownies and
Some cookies vying for dessert
Along with lotsa matzoh,
There’s an “Oy, I’m stuffed!” alert.
But all the food is not, to me,
The most important part -
It’s sharing these traditions with
Those closest to my heart.
Yorkshire, 1914
I patch mended her copper saucepan,
Edged an axe, two cleavers and a knife.
I did all the jobs that were required.
By this comely young farmer’s wife.
She served me a platter of rare beef
With chunks of home baked bread,
And along each large slice of meat
Relish of horseradish was spread.
She served me there in her kitchen
Sat me at a large wooden bench
As I watched all around the room
A young and fine buxom a wench.
She slid on my knee quite suddenly
And I held her there in my arms.
For how could any young man
Refuse an offer of such charms
She kissed my mouth with a passion.
She kissed me with a lust and desire,
That set may pulses off racing
That set my whole body on fire.
I held her for all of that evening
And most of that coming night,
Enjoying the play of our passion
The pleasure and sheer delight.
She served me a farmhouse breakfast.
For which my whole body yearned.
Eggs and home slaughtered bacon
Bread, and butter near freshly churned
I held her once more in that kitchen
In thanks for the love we had made
Then out to follow my fortune,
A wandering Jack of all Trade.
I could hear Shires in the stable
That fine November’s morn
As I set off on my journey
Just at the crack of dawn.
I strode away quite briskly
Down that winding cart track,
My body so pleasantly sated,
Possessions slung over my back.
Oh how I so love this my freedom
To enjoy while there’s still chance
For I reckon it’ll soon be the recruiter
And a spell in the trenches of France.
Maybe this really happened.
I wonder did he survive
The carnage of that bitter war
To come back whole and alive.
Yorkshire 2022
With long hair wrapped up, rugged nails dirt dipped,
denim overalls and barnyard boots,
I set forth to get them gnarly raspberry stalks clipped,
and return with harvested horseradish roots
and frost freshened persimmon fruits.
12-30-19
I've heard that cantaloupes can't elope
It's against their moral code
And rhubarbs are NOT allowed to argue
I've heard that people sometimes turnip and pea
Not a very classy bunch I must say!
When you give somebody a raspberry it's very rude
Had another good one but it got squashed
Gourd won't let me make fun of his name
Grapes are not allowed to gripe
Bet you're not wild about figs... that figures
If you take a leek in a supermarket
Security will beet you on the melon
When the cashier picks up that yellow fruit
It's okay to say, “that's a nice pear you have there”
If you give a horseradish, they'll spit it back at you
I don't see what they've got to grape about
Okay that one was kinda corny
Cauliflowers are pretty in the spring
Lettuce entertain you
© Jack Ellison 2014
~Brown Rice cooked with kidney beans
Southern home flavor
Curried chicken and ginger
With pear preserve sauce
Horseradish blended
Tossed salad
Yum!
For and in Honor of Sara Kendrick
And Contest: Low Country Boil
After Eight Mints
Anchovies
Apple Pancakes
Applesauce
Atlantic Cod
Barbecue Sauce
Black Bean Soup
Blue Cheese
Blueberry Pancakes
Brussels Sprouts and Lamb
Buttermilk
Caribou Liver
Carrots
Cauliflower
Chicken Breast
Chicken Patty
Chicory Roots
Chocolate Pudding
Chocolate Pudding !!!
Cinnamon Raisin Bagel
Coffee Cake
Coleslaw
Donkey Balls
Dried Plums
Durian Fruit
Garlic
Garlic Roast Chicken
Green & Yellow Peppers
Green Leaf Lettuce
Grilled Cheese
Hamburger
Hashed Brown Potatoes
Honey Pops
Horseradish
Iron Steak
Jellied bouillon with frankfurters
Jelly Sandwich
Marinara Sauce
Melba Toast Crackers
Milky Way Bar
Mozzarella Cheese
Muffins
Onions
Pasta Shells
Peanut Butter
Plain Bagel
Pot Pie
Potato Medley
Potatoes
Queso Asadero
Salisbury Steak
Shredded Gruyere
Shrimp
Smoked Chicken Sandwich
Smoked Ham
South-western Sandwich
Turkey Pastrami on Rye
Waffles
Weight Watchers Chicken Enchiladas
Whole Wheat Bread
He comments Beuys’ art
they hang to his dentalia
in slimy appearance
menus on wrapping paper
then
note the mental thing
yes, yes, he said so,
and where are the nuts
the crackers, the slow food
crisscross
crosscriss
a cookie with my coffee
still harvests thoughts
wrong war thoughts
so wrong during the war
November sun
warms a sanitary finger
and goldfish in my hand
hidden under fallen leaves
in brown memories
alma
Explanation
Joseph Beuys is a controversial artist, one of his
works is called 'food for thought'. I saw this at
the museum of psychiatry when I guided some folks;
theme of the exposition was "lost in memory".
Next to the museum is the garden where 3 of my
sculptural works can be visited. We did so.
Soon enough we will gather
for the festive meal
We will tell the tale
of the liberation of the Hebrew slaves
We will drink wine,
sing and enjoy
This festival comes
once a year
In my imagination
I can taste the gefilte fish and horseradish
I can taste the hard boiled egg, charoses and parsley
All in my imagination
Soon enough Passover will
arrive
Looking forward to feasting
and chanting
The years bring sorrow
My father will not be at
the seder this year
His memory lingers on
He may be looking down
from somewhere
Watching as we re - enact
the ancient ritual
and smiling
Hot peppers and spicy horseradish
a gut-punch to the solar plexus
Snake venom with moldy cheese
not tonight, if you please...
Tadpole skins and locust larvae
strains my stomach of iron
But a bloody Mary eggnog combo
gags the esophagus of this Hawaiian
Wonder how I developed my bizarre sense of taste?
~ A flush of the toilet for whoever said, 'Haste makes waste'
I've traveled the world o'er and consider myself a connoisseur,
Of the sandwich specialities of many a haughty entrepreneur.
I've sunk my teeth into tuna fish and spicy barbecue,
But there ain't nothin' like a rueben and a cold, foamy brew!
Fable has it that the reuben was concocted by one Rueben Kay,
Circa nineteen fifty-five during a poker game one fine day.
He certainly did his part to put Omaha, Nebraska on the map.
I will ever appreciate the culinary skills of that fine chap!
Ah, my taste buds just tingle thinking about this luscious repast.
The unlikely ingredients of a rueben sandwich are unsurpassed!
Corned beef, swiss cheese and heaps of sauerkraut,
Tucked between slices of rye with horseradish, just a wee amount!
There are many sandwich delicacies to choose from, I do declare,
But if there's a reuben listed on the restaurant's bill of fare,
You can rest assured that is what I will always opt for;
That's a forgone conclusion even before I enter the door!
I've devoured greasy hamburgers, hotdogs and sloppy joes by the score,
Ham and cheese, chicken salad and fancy finger sandwiches galore,
Even concocted my own version of the famous Dagwood Bumstead,
But any time a rueben is proffered, I'll take one of them instead!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (© All Rights Reserved)
Tender sliced beef sauteed lightly
Wrapped in Gyro Bread
Arugula bitter bite
Horseradish sauce covered
Sauteed onions dressed
Treat!
My inspiration:"Taste Of Summer" By Brian Strand
P Pass over, O God of Israel, the houses of Israel on this night
E Egypt, unsuspecting even at midnight of what was to come
S Smite, God of Israel, every firstborn Egyptian male
A Anguished Cries from every Egyptian household
C Children of Israel hurriedly exit the land
H Hallelujah! Praise the Lord, God!
S Spill ten drops of wine, symbolic of the ten plagues which struck Egypt
E Eat matso* and maror** to recall 210 bitter years of slavery there
D Dayenu***-- It would have sufficed us to have merely left Egypt
E Elaborate in the telling the story of our going forth from Egypt
R Recline at the table, in the manner of free people, noblemen
Wishing one and all a Happy Passover / Easter Season!
__________________________________________________________
* Matso is poor bread: thin, cracker-like, tasteless
** Maror is bitter herb: Horseradish root or even romaine lettuce stalks
*** Dayenu, it would have sufficed us, even had we not crossed the Red Sea...had we not traveled to the foot of Mt. Sinai,...had we not received the Tablets of the Ten Commandments at Mt. Sinai,...had we not eventually come to and conquered the Land of Israel
A for Ahira not an Apple was found at the tree of life, Sustain ate Manna;
B for Band bananas Black beans in stride;
C for Corianders and Cocoyam's flown in from the skies, sustain ate Manna;
D for Dalkon with Dandelions cries;
E for Endive in the wilderness eat, eaten with flies, sustain ate Manna;
F for Fat hen-Fiddlehead Fern, all for this I learn many people died;
G for Gherkin no more starving infants sustain ate Manna;
Sustain ate Manna;
H for Horseradish rode in from the North East;
Got a stomach-ache, must been somethin' that I didn't eat that I didn't ate.
Got no food for my family, must pray and stop being sadly...
God rains down something, I sigh, well, well, I said God rains down something...
rain down a chocolate cake or pumpkin pie;
Sustain ate manna this I got to have, yowl. . .
I for Ice plant, I spent on hot soup, sustain ate Manna
J for Jerusalem Artichokes rolls of Rice, this would b so nice so very nice
K for Kale is coming growing in bunches, sustain ate Manna;
L for Lemon grass and lentils and tree bark crunches;
M for Marjoram just to be brewed, sustain ate Manna;
N for Nettles and nuts just a few;
O for Okra and Olives oh, my, my, Oh! sustain ate Manna, sustain ate Manna;
P for peppers and palm hearts warms my inter soul;
Got a stomachs ache, must been something I didn't eat;
God no food for my family, must pray and stop being sadly;
God rains down something I sigh, a chocolate cake or pumpkin pie;
sustain ate manna this I got to have now. . .
Q for Quince and mince and mash and chew, sustain ate Manna;
R for Radish the raisins just a few;
S for Slokes are jokes no one eats them, sustain ate Manna;
T for tomatoes to Matt Toe what's the different;
U for Ulluco you be hungry when you eat, sustain ate Manna;
V for Vidalia onion sometimes is sweet;
W for Watercress, what a mess, sustain ate Manna;
X for Xemenia too!, Comes from heavens kitchen;
Y for Yamaimo and yams is the plan, sustain ate Manna;
Z for Zucchini for every woman, girl, boy and man;
Sustain ate Manna
Bless me horseradish
Make me gassy and pungent
I hate shrewd people