Best Hairy Poems

Somebody suggested I write the tale using the correctly spelled words because my story (below here in the Homophone contest) is simply too distracting to understand with homophones. Hope you will take a peek!! 

When Harry Met Terry

Once upon a time in a wood, a...

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The girl of my dreams has long flowing hair
Straight from her armpits hanging down with flair
Crossed eyes to boot
Big bum, whatta hoot
A divine creature with flaws here and there...

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21.

I care not a fat hairy fig
For your task to decimate
And predicate my world
With such villainy and hate.

You evaporate the sunshine.
You bring nigh the distant gloom.
Like a pestiferous browsing parasite
Intent on some impending doom.

Crawl! Crawl away from sight...
I reject all you say and do. Find
Another...

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Some say I'm an original and I tend to agree
After popping out they threw away the damn key
He'll never be matched
A weirdo' was hatched
Screamed bloody murder like a hairy ass banshee...

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Oh, my gosh, I’m freaking and feel such dread.
What the hay is this nonsense on my head?
I can’t go to work, can't enter the office!
I will be seen, visible to peers and bosses,
be the fool who provided entertaiment gossip. 
God, please, send help, I am...

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(Revised with new homophone added in. Thanks for the catch, Becca!)

*Wants upon **uh thyme inn uh would, uh vary gneiss prints named Hairy
met inn the missed, hi awn the bow of uh tree- uh ferry named Tarry.

The ferry felt lo, fore he was week, and...

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Loose and Hairy


he spent the night roaming her prairie
at sunrise the trip became scary

from under the sheet
stuck two gnarly feet

her beauty turned fat, LOOSE, and HAIRY


5/21/2015

submitted to – L&H Limericks – Poetry Contest
sponsor – Catie Lindsey...

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Hairy Nora reads the Torah from daybreak until dusk.
She’s got four different colored legs, but not a single tusk.
There’s a birdie sitting on her back that moves and sways like Elvis,
Her ears are crinkly when they’re pressed and there’s a mirror on her pelvis.
Now I’ve...

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Hairy Mary, really scary
Hairs grow from her nose
Some sprout from her pointy ears
And in between her toes

She's got hair on her fingers
and her one remaining thumb
I can't confirm the rumour
That she's got a hairy bum

A hair grows from the mole
That is sprouting from her chin
Her...

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Eight legged hairy spider
We can see it everywhere
It can’t fly but with a long and sticky web
Insects will stuck and grab it with speed

On one moonless starry night
The shadow of a spider is in sight
Combined with color orange and black
On top of the giant leaves...

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Everybody's hairy
My Daddy's hairy
My Mommy's hairy
I am hairy
And all of us have hair in our noses...

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There was once a sweet gal named Mary
  Whose face and legs were kind of hairy
            She shaved once a week
        One day she nicked her...

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"It hurts bald men as much as hairy men to have their hairs pulled out." 
~Seneca

The bald man moans
for his house, rooted up,
dripping above the sewer.
A q tip might plug it. 
Alcohol might fix it for weeks.

The hairy man sues
for his house, shooted up
miles above...

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Hairy upon his lap did lie
Snuggled and contented
Hairy upon the mistress' lap 
Snapped his hand when extented ...

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Large, and Hairy  and a perfect tight fit
absorbing near all of my naked bit.
The names it’s been called
covering skin that is bald.
Just an old knitted hat...that suits this old git!

L&H Contest...

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