Best Fer Poems

Poor ol' boy Richard Odekirk,
Just couldn't get fired and hasta work.
It's unfair that he'll miss the enjoyment,
Of his 96 weeks of Unemployment!

Just for Caties contest!!!...

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Grandpa and his kin gathered at the mill,
“It’s n’uther thanksgiving, y’all! Eat yer fill!
Hey cuzz Joe Bob, what’s the deal?
Whose turkey did y’all steal?”
What turkey? Y’all be chompin on road kill!

Yes siree y’all might have to chaw some,
But this barbequed swill be awesome!
Be a shame...

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I set out lookin' fer some way to scribe,
that wer' a different, en catch yarn ear
Well first I'd try, 'ee hollerin' a rhyme,
with all CAPS, this only brought er tear,

This started me a thinkin' too look
elce-where, excep', per'aps this prose
isn't fer me, many have written...

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Roses is red; a dollar are green.
Dough wuz the grandest thang Bubba'd done seen.
He had a bad wreck and ruptured his spleen.
His surgery wuz in a room that tweren't clean!
He paid Doc with roses, and Doc got real mean.

So Bubba sent dough--biscuits in a can.
Doc...

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Where Lud gave wing, Blessed Bran doth sing
true oracle the visions bring,
from midnight’s land, bear burning brand
the Queens of old, gift Druid hand.

Shadow depth seek, sharp sable beak,
pierce psyche veils when prophets speak,
messenger calls through ancient halls
where Raven reigns the Tower walls.

Fey healer fly, the...

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When a man's on his own, he's just dat.
He's dis an he's dat … jus dis an dat …  an dat's dat.
But now let a good woman enter his life
Let a good woman become his sweet wife
Now he's inspired from dis and dat to...

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"Howard    woncha say a few wurds?
Cum on    Howard    like over tha bird."
Says Aunt Jen    visitin' fer the holeeday.

Weuns are seated    tha eight of us    at this here...

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A properly equipped cowpoke is bound to impress the boss.
He'll need a mount of course and a silver-studded saddle fer his hoss.
He'll need some chaps to protect his jeans frum them pesky burrs,
And his outfit wouldn't be complete without a fancy pair of spurs!

A wide-brimmed...

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Each line is composed of two Anapaest metres and a final Spondee metre.

Come to me and put thine sweet eyes
on this note that thus came, e’en tries
to put slander within my mind
of the old and bad trite stale kind.
What false lines do impinge thy name
for...

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Built somewhere between 1887 and 1889
she became a spot
for lovers
who overlook the city
in amazement at the Seine
as it flows lazily through the bustling city
of narrow roadways
and glimmering lights

She rises from the ground 
this immense metal structure that
speaks of man's ingenuity and imagination
coddling
those individuals who desire...

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Let her rip, and take a dip in varied a color of blood
Special swindling snake they be, dancin in the mud
Watch yer backside though for when they go lancin
While yer back is turned and fancied for a strike

All the gold in the world you'll give...

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Can't believe how youse guys rallied around
When I said I was feeling a bit down
I'm blown away by your unbelievable friendship
You're the sweetest bunch of people around

Poets all seem to be warm and sensitive
Guess it's because we write about love
Reminding us about the true meaning...

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Highbrow Singing Ain’t Fer Me

By Elton Camp  

I heerd some guy’s the best singer who’s ever been
So I went t’ the theater and paid a bunch t’ git  in 
This ugly man come on the stage dressed t’ kill
The audience clapped so it...

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'Twas a cold cold day o'tune,
Fer those pickers down in Boone.
Fiddles brought so had they'd ought,
Newest feathers just store bought,
'Twas a cold cold day a'tune.

Fer those pickers down in Boone,
That wind she whistled well.
A'high up steeple rung that bell,
As sun did set upon those met,
'Twas...

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What's an Easter twofer?
Rose and Ted celebrate
Jesus first, then bunnies.
Bible story done, then
read the Sunday funnies.

What's an Easter twofer?
fancy hat Rose will wear,
new clothes, they go to church.
Mid-afternoon, a feast,
as candy eggs they search.

What's an Easter twofer?
Rose's hat serves her well;
morning - it warms her...

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