Best Dick Poems

I had not been on another poetry site even a week
And l had already crossed paths with a bully 
A self appointed “Professor of Poetry” it seems
Who spewed out rude comments regularly

Now, I don’t know your name
So I will  call you Richard 
(DICK for...

Continue reading...

Very loosely based on Robert Palmer’s song Addicted To Love – I understand the lyric is often mis-quoted hence the title.

The lights are on, were both at home
Your todger has a mind of its own
Our hearts beat, our bodies quake
Making love is what it takes
We...

Continue reading...

There once was a few chaps named Tom, Dick & Harry
Who for Hallows Eve were frightfully scary
For they were trying to undress
A woman you might guess
And scare the pants off of Mary.

So the silly spooks Tom, Dick & Harry
Who in their own way were ready...

Continue reading...

He lived in a small village
Dick Longly was his name
He was known for miles around
An extra long willy his claim to fame

The men folk thought him a legend
Considered him unbelievably blessed
The women wanted to get to know him
Put that legend to the test!!

Dick was known...

Continue reading...

There was a hurting fellow named Dick
He had a rather pointy small prick
He rubbed it all day 
without much delay
pulling it out it looked like a stick


For Jan's limerick contest. Now I will go read the directions....

Continue reading...

There once was a lad named Dick
He was tremendously thin like a stick
Fell through a crack
And never came back
Probably met up with some thin chick


© Jack Ellison 2015...

Continue reading...

If I were a boy I’d wear mini skirts
I wouldn’t be manly for what it’s worth 
I love girly things
Like ribbons and rings -
I’d be a sexy transvestite who flirts!


3/25/12
For Frank's "If I were a boy" contest...

Continue reading...

Can't you get it
Love is something that you are
If you sweat it
You're something else by far...

Continue reading...

A greedy Dick's seed
will hardly succeed. 

Volodymyr Knyr
2017...

Continue reading...

Dozy Dick and his Magic Stick it comes to life at night
Takes him to a world of joy and pure delight

Transports him to a place he really wants to be
Of inner dreams and pleasure and every fantasy

With his magic stick Dick can travel far and...

Continue reading...

Height is not an issue
But today I got introduced to a nasty verbal stew
It was this one bullish kind of comment
Of odium and torment

Initially I thought, it was human nature
Coming from a relative who is short in stature
The tyrant venting with a curse
A sheer case...

Continue reading...

The Moby Dick Reunion 


One hundred fifty nine years have passed
Since Melville published his novel.
Seven hundred twenty pages in length
Some say it was much too nautical. 

All of the characters have gathered.
They’re going to have a reunion.
Rumor has it, they say, that Herman himself
Is making...

Continue reading...

I'm a cop and my name is Dick Tracy.
A lot of cops are corrupt but not me.
I can't be bought just like Eliot Ness.
Because of crime, this city is a mess.
A Crime Lord runs this town and his name is Big Boy Caprice.
While he's operating,...

Continue reading...

He 
Didn't swear
On "Bible"...
But "Moby Dick"
No!

From the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes"...

Continue reading...

With one mighty swing of your forty-two ounce bat,
out of the ballpark was where the baseball was at.
A great player blessed with athletic prowess,
you made the ball travel like a nonstop express.
You were Wampum, Pennsylvania's native son.
As far as sports was concerned, you could not...

Continue reading...