Best Cracks Me Up Poems
I do my best to heal
Water tries to flow
Air makes effort to breeze
Earth worms its way up
Fire cracks me up
I am a mole
I dug a hole
They dug holes in me
Life flows out
Food crawls in
I crawled into one of the holes
and worked my way
down, down, down
Past the magnificent field
of blinding lava
And came back out on the other side
I asked a tree: "Where am I?".
It replied: "New Zealand"
How about Carol wears the curtain rods?
That would be hysterical.
No one else got it.
But I am Harvey Korman and I have some say.
Most popular episode in history.
Even Vicky is not as popular unless she is mama.
Vicky as Carol's mama is hilarious.
This show gets better every second.
Then we grab up Tim Conway.
I have never laughed so hard in all my life.
He cracks me up totally.
And we are in front of a live audience!
My days on earth were the best.
Carol Burnett could fall down better than anyone
And get more laughs with just a glance than
All the rest of us put together.
National Nut Day is Oct twenty-two.
My favorites are almond and cashew.
But all nuts don't grow on trees.
Two nuts who are really sleaze,
Are Trump and Clinton, both cracked, in my view!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
One of my favorite things about you is your smile
But you rob me of it by trying to keep it hid
By covering it up
By trying to refrain
Just seeing you TRY to refrain cracks me up
Seeing you smile
Hearing you laugh
Brings such pure joy to my soul
So when you do, I drink it up
When I realize certain things you do
or certain things I do makes you laugh
Makes you smile all the way up to your eyes
I make note of it so I can use it
EVERY chance I get
Even if that means enduring something....
Gross
Weird
Risky
Silent but deadly
But hey a girl's gotta do
What a girl's gotta do
Even when you ask me
With a sly smirk on your face
"Pull my finger"
and you smile that wonderful smile
And I immediately start laughing
Although pulling the finger
Might result in something putrid
Any kind of embarrassing sound
"Basking in the ambiance"
I pull the "trigger"
Sometimes a sound follows
Sometimes it's a dud
But nonetheless
We burst out laughing
And I get to see you smile
Hear you laugh
All smells aside
All sounds aside
I'm am full of happiness
All because of the pull of a finger
(For the contest "Reconsidering Laughter" by Desiree Birdseye)
new dog on the porch
our pet cat at the window
shrieks like a banshee
Indignation hair-raisingly sounded
when our “queen” cat was more than astounded
by the new pet Dad brought
to the house. Cat wailed “NOT
on MY watch.” Then that poor dog she hounded.
our cat’s hissy fit goes down as the worst in her catdom’s hiss-tory.
Jan. 25, 2022
For Charles Messina's Charlie Hai-Lim-Ku Poetry Contest
(inspired by a YouTube Video I saw on FB. it just cracks me up)
One Dingy-Ringy
Blah! Blah! Blah! One dingy-ringy.
That obnoxious ring-tone cracks me up.
Loud sounds screaming Blah! Blah! Blah…yikes!
Cover my ears with a coffee cup!
That, my friend, is a sight to see.
Cups on my ears so as not to hear,
Blah! Blah! Blah! Still ringing for me.
That dingy-ringy sometimes brings fear.
One day while in the grocery store,
Peacefully walking, pushing my cart.
I heard that ring-tone just like before.
Blah! Blah! Blah! It startled my heart!
Rude and obnoxious, I have been told.
But I think it’s fun to hear him say,
Blah! Blah! Blah! Come on, I am sold!
The blah blah is the height of my day.
© August 2, 2010
Jessica is my bestest friend.
She's here for me 'til the end.
Her laugh always cracks me up.
When i talk she doesn't interrupt.
She lost her voice the other day.
At my house she is supposed to stay.
This poem is finally through .
I hope you find a best friend to.
By: Cherica Eckiwaudah
“Some cause happiness wherever they go
Others whenever they go”
One of Oscar Wilde's famous quotes
Would have been a great man to know
“Always forgive your enemies
Nothing annoys them so much”
Another gem from this famous fellow
As a humorist he sure had the touch
“America was discovered before Columbus
But it had always been hushed up”
Yet another gem from this fertile mind
Don't think that's coffee in his cup
“I think God in creating Man
Somewhat overestimated his ability”
This one totally cracks me up
His mind worked with ease and agility
“A little sincerity is a dangerous thing
And a great deal of it is absolutely fatal”
It's something I learned a long time ago
In fact, I think I learned it prenatal
“Anyone who lives within their means
Suffers from a lack of imagination”
You should throw all caution to the wind
And give in to those naughty temptations
“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable
That we have to alter it every six months”
Oscar is one of my favourite humorists
His mind was definitely out to lunch!
© Jack Ellison 2013
You my child mean the world
to me, because you are my world.
I am so proud of you,
my little boy.
To see your precious smile,
melts my dear heart.
Those bright blue eyes
sparkle so.
The way you wrinkle
up your little nose as I
speak with you
cracks me up to
no end.
You will break a lot
of little girls hearts
before your'r through.
Each day am loving you
just a little more,
becoming more proud
to be your Grandpa.
written 4-17-17
Life cracks me up
Throwing bricks at my face
Dodging them through the paths of the wilderness
Where the water buffalo roam
Strangers make accusations
or peek into business
Where eyes will be destroyed for piercing through sharp glass
Note to self don't ever look back
Keep pushing through raging waters
Breaking the strong current apart
To the point where grace returns to spark your enlightened poetic heart
egg to
bacon....
housewife cracks me up
I had to share this. I was cracking eggs to do western style scrambled eggs yesterday and this thought hit me. LOL..
It cracks me up, when I hear, people say, why does God allow things to go a certain way. Could it be, because we don't live for, and respect His gift of today? We pay more attention to our outer shells, and desires, then heeding the spirit yearning to get in, but needing a pathway granted from within. Man is equipped with individual and unique gifts, to overcome every obstacle, and perpetuate, his existence. Better to work as a team, passing the baton to the next, for the fastest time to any finish line, solving life's problems. If we can just chill only maintaining the outer shell, accept it's destined for a death knell, maybe outlooks and attitudes, can change for the better. Before your stress, worry, and anxiety cause you to take a header. Learn to focus out, not just pout. Could that be what it is all about? If we are going to die one day, until then, why not take a roll in the hay? Imagine if everyone instead of being so self absorbed, could cause a smile, or extend a kind word. Talk about a different kind of vaccine, free and instilling a different kind of immunity, in the human herd.
She tells it like it is
And it cracks me up
She lives modestly but
Her laugh is like big bucks
Her truth is like mine
But I don't have the courage
To say it
She doesn't give a heck
And she doesn't understand her
Wit
We talk and laugh for hours
On end because that's my girl
She's a dear friend
Satire is a tricky thing
And won’t appeal to half
Of its potential readers,
But the other half will laugh.
The Onion is satirical
And I’m, for sure, a fan,
For it pokes fun of politics
(At least, while it still can).
Like other periodicals,
It focuses on news,
With weddings, deaths and real estate
Attracting many views.
There also is a horoscope
And lots of ads as well,
But none of it is serious,
Which anyone can tell.
It always cracks me up; at times
It makes me laugh out loud,
The humor, though, intended
For a real specific crowd.
I recommend a reading
But I would advise you that
You may not be so enamored
If you sport a MAGA hat.
Being a child of addiction,
Not much you can do,
Cant anger the beast,
Don't want the object they hit to be you
Constant stir in my stomach,
Butterflies of fear cry,
Gotta turn up the music,
Otherwise my spirit might die
Friends not home,
In my room alone,
Look in the backyard,
Tried to grow grass, disaster prone
Turn on the black and white tube,
Married with Children hears my blues,
Cracks me up,
Way better than watching the news
It's in the small things I find comfort,
Outside bedroom walls are chaos,
I walk out there always in silence,
Don't want to upset the big boss.
Its easy to lie when your well being is at stake,
Keeping them happy makes your fake,
Soon your feelings mirror gray rainbows,
Different colors for every mood,
Emotions numb, colors no longer glow.