Best Countertops Poems
I Hate Home Depot!
I hate Home Depot!
Just the sight of that
orange and white sign
makes my stomach turn.
However I know every
square inch of that store,
I’ve spent
thousands of hours there
as a paying customer.
I know what all is in the
garden section for all of the seasons.
I know where to go to find the
nuts, screws, nails and bolts. I can guide you
through the wallpaper and
the paint section.
I’ve bought sheets of plywood, lots of pcv pipe,
dozens of American Standard toilets,
ceiling fans, light fixtures, HVAC systems,
generators, even a riding lawn mower.
I’ve bought paint and waited to have it
mixed properly. I’ve rented
and driven dozens of their trucks before.
I’ve bought power drills, leaf blowers
screwdrivers, hammers, cabinets,
patio furniture, a refrigerator, an oven,
and an air conditioner.
I’ve even rented a carpet cleaner too!
But I could care less, if I ever step foot
in a Home Depot ever again. All of my hours
clocked in that store went to the benefit
of my ex.
He was the one that financially,
emotionally and personally
gained from my presence in
Home Depot.
So what was the point of me acquiring
all of that knowledge that didn’t benefit
me at all then and probably won’t benefit
me ever again?
It seems like such as waste of my time
and energy now.
Believe me when I say
I would rather watch paint dry than
go to Home Depot, I mean ever word
of that statement!
One summer I practically read all of
War and Peace in the orange and
white store from Hell!
But I can show you how to repair a large hole
in a piece of sheetrock. I know how to
paint the inside and the outside of a house.
I know how to install travertine in a house,
slanted and straight.
I have installed granite countertops,
hardware for a sink and the basin too.
Many other home improvement projects
I learned there.
What a fool I was!
Oh well, that’s life.
Who knows maybe
someday I’ll use some
of that knowledge that I
hated every minute learning!
My dream house
It will be by the beach
Totally open
Bright with a lot of natural lights
Modern contemporary
It will be a 5 bedroom 4 baths
Why do I need that many?
Don't know
Like to spread out myself
It will have travertine floors
White cabinets
that I can totally drown myself in
Granite countertops
Stainless steel sinks
Island in between
With a sink in it
Six burner stove
Double oven
where I can burn some dishes
Haha
I don't cook
But I will learn
The countertop full of gadgets
Where I can try my hands on things
What else do I want?
I want that and more
But I will get that for now
Until I can dream on some other place
Oh heaven
Yeah I think I will get there
Now
On earth :)
Kitty Cat and Christmas Tree
Kitty, Kitty
Kitty, Kitty
Oh sweet, snuggly, cuddly, pretty bundle of joy
Full of mischief that gets you into trouble, my furry fur ball
A kitty-cat that desires so much loving and attention
Affectionate and my shadow when you desire
Play toys you see small and large
As real as you and me
You love to play hide -seek,
But your favorite toy is the part of nature that has moved in
Another play toy you see with those big green eyes
That nose wiggles to take a whiff
Another scratching post with the scent of pine
With movement of shimmering light adornment that garnish that beautiful toy of yours
Like a mouse running and jumping from limb to limb that looks so as real as you and me
Tempting for you to swat and play
That mouse that entice your nature’s instincts to plan of ways to chase
Kitty, Kitty
Oh sweet, snuggly, cuddly, pretty bundle of joy
Full of mischief that gets you into trouble, my furry fur ball
Sitting far, far away from the tree, looking innocent as can be
Oh!
No!
You've toppled the Christmas tree and scattered the broken ornaments all over the floor!
Frosting paw prints smudges on my countertops and floor!
What kind of games do you plan to play when my back is turned?
11/20/2015
- Poetry Contest : Cats and Christmas Trees
Sponsored by: Mary Oliver Rotman
With intention, I walk into the laundry room to get what was it now,
Let’s see, looking around ~ I know it will come to me somehow.
I’ll resolve this, so back to the kitchen, I carefully retrace my path,
It strikes me, I need some bleach, its like solving a problem in math.
Every morning I gather the newspaper and sit down to have a read,
Eagerly I open the paper, now where are the reading glasses I need.
After searching countertops, tables and finally deep inside my purse
I find my multi-coloured magnifying glasses as I give out a quiet curse.
I seem to be tired all the time but when I hit the bed I just can’t sleep,
Finally I drift off after a soothing bath, sipping hot milk and counting sheep.
No sooner I’m asleep when the pain becomes so intense, again I’m awake,
My hip hurts, my shoulder aches ~ oh someone shoot me for pity’s sake.
My conversations don’t include the word old any more because that’s me,
Feeling young but according to Denny’s I am a senior, in the upper category!
Caught in limbo with age, it seems somewhere between heaven and hell,
Pay full price for the bus and a movie, but I can eat for less at Taco Bell.
My knowledge and skills lose their relevance to my ever independent kids,
Along the way we’ve switched from teacher to student, we’ve changed grids.
Now retired I have time to walk and exercise but my joints limit the amount,
My metabolism has really changed, seems all food has a triple caloric count.
Are there benefits to being a senior, having to take drugs, I don’t condone,
Maybe being able to watch my family grow and mature with lives of their own
Because now, I am the storyteller, keeping the traditions of our family alive,
The elder who outlines what we stand for, guiding our history as we thrive.
Written July 28, 2012
For Nancy Jones’ contest
This is how life feels when you get to be my age
Brain strain – A kitchen adventure
Broken ladles scattered about the new granite countertops
Veins of years gone by, prehistoric earth tremblings, spotted composites
in a vast array of colors, wickedly smooth and hard as rock (go figure)
Silverware sings like wind chimes on the tile floor,
cast aside in frantic search…long drawers, endlessly hiding that utensil,
somewhere behind the egg slicer, yellow plastic (what would I do without it?)
Meat thermometer (that sounds nasty) Tupperware tops for what?
Plastic reminders of meals past, no longer fitting their
spaghetti sauce discolored partners, in assorted sizes (used now as makeshift cat food bowls)
Pots and pans, why is it always pots and pans, never pans and pots,
hell in alphabetical order it would be, who thinks up this stuff?
And then those damn lids that never stack (handles, who needs them?)
A blender, a mixer, a dicer, a juicer, a toaster and an apple peeler. An apple peeler?
Brownie tins shaped like a labyrinth, but look at all of those corners…chewy
Not good for the diet but make the perfect Christmas gift. (much more than an apple peeler)
There it is, finally, behind a 5 lb. bag of potatoes and the old Mr. Coffee machine,
tarnished silver, at least a hundred star patterned holes, three little worthless feet…my colander
The one I use to strain my brain, removing all of the bad stuff (so the only thought left is you)
4/6/17
Written for the Go Ahead…I Dare Ya!!! poetry contest
Sponsored by John Lawless
The world you where born into is burning, Hopkins.
It's big and Ugly and smells like diesel exhaust.
Literally, because the hospital Insurance sent us to is on an i-95 off ramp
Just north of the South Carolina/Georgia Line.
You where born during an episode of House Hunters,
Two days after i lost a rigged BBQ Cookoff,
Our Brisket game was solid.
The world you where born into is not fair,
and your daddy is the poor son of a rich man.
I tricked your mother with my manners and air conditioning,
and here we are.
The Doctor asked the nurse if she had Ham at thanksgiving dinner, the nurse told him ham and turkey and told your mom to push....
You came out eyes wide open and on the TV two people from Charlotte found the perfect granite countertops.
You where the type of perfect that turns words into sparks and smoke.
Your mother holds you to her chest and you look me right in the eye. I cry like the second runner up in a high school beauty contest.
The day you where born the world continued to burn.
The old Kaufman footwear factory
with it's grand entryway
Marble floors
Granite counters
Important people use to walk it's halls
Pictures of the founders had lined the walls
Intimidating, dressed in three piece suits
holding somber expressions
masters of a previous time
I walk down the halls
to the workers domain
stepping across pieces of debris on the factory floor
Calloused hands had run these machines
building work boots and futures that have all but dissapeared
The jobs
Good paying jobs
Union Jobs
Gone
A cities pulse slowed
Hopes dashed
Silenced
The glass from the windows lay broken on the floor
Wind echoes through lonely hallways
The rhythm of man and machine have ceased
dreams shattered like the glass
Soon new workers will appear
pulling down the broken pieces
getting rid of the tired machines
dusting away the silken cobwebs
All to make way for the new Condos
Reclaiming a part of history
The past and future will be united
Once again these wall will echo with laughter
New dreams to be forged from the rubble
People once again walking down bright hallways
The wind will be kept at bay
until some ancient future day
The grand entryway
Marble floors
Granite countertops
Decked out once again in finery
If the building could speak
she would say
"Come rest your weary heads"
"Celebrate my past"
"Make me your home."
Dedicated to Kaufman Footwear a grand building as well as an important
piece of Kitchener Ontario's past. The factory has been converted to condos.
losing blood like a hemorrhage.
it’s your hands that will bleed this time.
stale, Dauphin eyes break and feed
tragic Calamity, when the wisping clouds
,with their wisping mouths, wisp no more.
biting at the king’s ears; hearing what I hear
placing yourself at a foreign view. . .a retarding world of laugh-
people
cotton candy swirled like frothy mocha lattes...
nasty little people - little children, running into countertops.
vita brevis, so they say
yes! this is just like you thought it would be.
You scrape me with your branches; I drive this axe across your back.
Countertops like held hands
support slowly separated spaces
pulling away from unkept passion
your lips speak loves last grace
Has desire ever been so elusive?
she dances in my fireplace
she drips from my shower-head
only to fall into ashes
and retreat from my lonesome bed
her touch like moments past
is color fading from my face
what once was there is gone
moving farther
from the home i must dwell
Decorations cover
the hole in my wall
filled with hollow expectations
the furniture like pressed bodies
warms icy abandonment
my floor is our humanity
and my countertops
our innocent attempt at nirvana
Sunday morning sardines
Sing trademarked sermons
No gain, guitars must be clean
To harken out the predetermined
Donation cards in cursive fonts
A prayer for a new patio to
Crosses finished like their countertops
Their fair-weather faith up for review
This is for the poor Diet Coke debutantes
In Burberry scarves with lipstick grins
Money isn’t everything but it's all they got
Life is just so hard for those who always win
Quartz Coloring Our World with Beauty
Herkimer diamonds
Amethyst, rose, agate,
One of the most well known
Minerals on earth, occurring in every locale
Quartz countertops
Quartz crystals
Quartz geode
Smoky,
Yellow
Pink,
Quartz
Resistant to heat
Glorifying our rock hunting adventures
Coloring our world with beauty
Quartz, fantastic gift from God
Herkimer diamonds
Amethyst, rose, agate,
One of the most well known
Minerals on earth, occurring in every locale
Quartz countertops
Quartz crystals
Quartz geode
Smoky,
Yellow
Pink,
Quartz
Resistant to heat
Glorifying our rock hunting adventures
Coloring our world with beauty
Quartz, fantastic gift from God
Numbers, numbers, numbers, numbers...
Are you numb from all your numbers?
Social security, drivers license, identity card numbers
Numbers, numbers -- numb from numbers
Library card, insurance card, employee numbers
Credit card, debit card, loyalty club card numbers
Numbers, numbers, numbers, numbers...
Are you numb from all your numbers?
Telephone numbers: Landlines, smartphones, cellphones
Computer passwords: At home, at work, on laptops
Desktops, countertops, tabletops, rooftops, mountaintops too
Remember when "I'm not a name but a number" was not really true?
It was summer on a Saturday afternoon.
With a few bucks, I went to a saloon.
I made some decent progress with my third beer.
All of the sudden, a vision of loveliness would appear.
She was a brunette scantily clad in a bikini colored pink.
This girl looked young; not even old enough to drink.
Aroused men seemed to want to swallow her whole
as she erotically slithered like a snake around a pole.
The guy sitting next to me told me her name was Denise.
She just happened to be the bar owner's niece.
Closer to the patrons came this sweet little honey.
Denise pranced on the countertops as she collected money.
That's when I thought I should vacate my seat.
This girl might think I was a deadbeat.
To the nearest exit, I made a prompt dash.
I would have stayed longer, but I was out of cash.
The night comes near a end
You hear your mom's car pull up in the driveway
As she unloads the car you see a shiny light illuminating
"What's that?" you think to yourself
As she sets the brown paper bag on the countertops
you slowly dig in to find the box
"CHOCOLATES!" you exclaim
You slowly pull the box of chocolates out the bag
hoping she doesn't notice
As you put the creamy milk chocolate in your mouth
A volcano of fresh and decadent strawberry cream erupts in Your mouth
"Yum" you say
As you hear you mother walking down the stairs you scramble
hoping that she doesn't notice
still savoring the yummy chocolate stuck in between your teeth
Yum chocolate