Best Can Of Corn Poems
Lines, Launch Angles and Curve Balls
The boys of summer
Set up for a season of lines, launch angles and curve balls
With straight chalky lines leading to a field of dreams
Where line-ups keep the line moving
On frozen ropes to climb the ladder into the catbird seat
Above the Mendoza line when outlines of a waving pennant envision
Crooked numbers and dusty home plates where grand salamis
Foil curves balls in flying angle launch lines – not lined out,
Not out of line
To make power lines for a hitter’s line of sight
And for bases lines, nicknamed the 45’ line,
That call for calls of fair ball down the line
Or foul across the foul line
To guide the line – fair or foul -
And lines of music for the seventh inning stretch, or the chin,
Sung in lusty lines of fans in seat lines
Or in line for nachos, popcorn, brats and beer –
To cheer the back door slider, can of corn or Uncle Charlie –
A Bronx cheer or line of boos –
A summer lineup card of seeing-eye doubles down the line,
Balls climbing up the ladder lines
Nestled in a flat curve
For lines creating perfect diamond angles
Ringing with famous lines
“Batter up!”
For “There’s no crying in baseball.” –
A nervous breakdown in nine innings” -
Because “It’s outta here!”
“Adios Pelota!” “Good bye Mr. Spaulding!”
“Holy Cow!” “Long gone!”
“Put it on the board” “Hey! Hey!”
“Oh Doctor!” “Bye, bye baby!”
And “It ain’t over till it’s over!”
Because “It’s getting late early.”
And “The impossible just happened.” “Forget it!”
“Hello again everybody! It’s a bee-yoo-tiful day for baseball.”
“How about that?”
“If it wasn’t for baseball I’d be in either the penitentiary or cemetery.”
“Remember these two things – play hard and have fun.”
With lines, launch angles and curve balls.
Opening Day April 1, 2021
'Tis Halloween again, the economy is bad and lots of folks are outta work!
I'm gonna reverse this trick or treat racket, tho' some may think me quite a jerk!
Normally, hordes of kids come bangin' on my door pleadin', "Fill my tote!"
But this year I'm gonna dress like a bum and from behind my mask I'll gloat!
I'll tote a huge burlap bag and park my Cadillac so as to be discreet,
And march down every street in this fair city pleadin' fer things to eat!
I hope they'll pity this poor old tramp when I make my earnest plea,
And that they'll be more than generous and not call the law on me!
My spiel will go somethin' like this: "Won't you help a destitute family,
That is goin' through hard times facin' problems we could not foresee?
All I'm askin' of you is a few taters, maybe a can of corn or peas.
Anything would be appreciated and may God bless you if He please!"
After I make the rounds and arrive home to sort through my ill-gotten loot,
Of soups, ramen noodles, crackers, lima beans and assorted fruit,
I'll put it all back in the burlap bag and deliver it to a needy charity,
Than I'll scurry home to hand out treats to the little imps who call on me!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Tied for No. l in Russell Sivey's "Halloween Fun" Contest - October 2011
The human body was built with a stretching ability. Skin and muscles are very elastic and prepared for adversities. Bones can be fractured and broken, but mends back in time. Ache me; bend me; mend me; brake me; mane me; pain me; I bounce back. Everything within me connects, communicates, and confers with each other. But I am wondering about 'the goings on' of a can of corn, if dented. If a dent is made in a can of corn, does it force the kernels to draw closer together? It's like this. While cleaning our food closet one day, I overheard a most interesting dialogue between designated speakers for the corn and the water.
"What just happened here?" said the whole kernel can of corn to the water in the can. "I felt a deep stump that shook us as you moved like a high tidal wave." "I know! said the water, it was as if someone just threw us into a large tote of other cans". "I don't know what's going on here, but I sure wish it would stop. We have feelings too?" They seem to care more about a dent in their cars than one in a can containing their food supply. Go figure".
After a pause, the corn kernel said, "Anyway, the dent they caused just took away some of our already crowded space. Moreover, I suspect before long someone will come looking to eat us, notwithstanding the dent in the can. Until then we'll just have to deal with the way things are. "On the other hand, said the water, they might decide to eat us as a last resort, like when things are bad and money is tight. In that way we'll last longer. I must say that as a result of our can being dent, not only have we both been stirred, but we have been forced to communicate like humans do. Maybe we'll also learn to bounce back like humans". And the corn kernel said, "Perhaps so, and I guess if you are going to get eaten, later is better for us."
12242017 PS Contest, Dented Cans, John Lawless (Personification)
Clutching
The end of my Zebco rod and reel
As the cast of tackle is flung
Like a small knot of costume jewelry
Skimming atop the caramel-colored Grand River
Dragonfly rattling awry
The vibration tingling in the palm of my hand
As if I had cupped an angry bee
Until the swivel hook and sinker
Puckers
The river’s muddy surface
Splash
Swallowed soft and thick
On the river bottom a dozen kernels of corn
Thread on hook
Weighed down by an ounce of lead
Waiting
For a big greedy carp
To come by and fight to the death.
Tim and me we got that bait
From a stolen can of corn that used to sit
In Tim’s mom’s refrigerator.
While we keep our eyes keen
To the taps and shivers
Of the delicate tips of our poles
Balanced in the crux of V-shaped sticks
Stuck in the dry embankment
Delta 88s clack across Waverly Bridge
And underneath teenagers dig the hard mud
Hitting a joint while sharing a Mad magazine
Their screeches and laughs rising and falling
Like hooks scraping against cement.
We stroke the knives slung in our socks
Wary of them.
Tim wonders to me what it means for the USA
To have lost its first war.
I don’t know.
I say that my parents think that Watergate
Was worse for us
But either way they say
Things will never be the same.
Tim says his older brother slapped his face yesterday
For parking his bicycle too close
To his black and gold-trimmed Trans Am.
We share a plot of revenge.
We listen on a transistor to Ernie and Paul
Broadcast a doubleheader from Tiger Stadium
“And he stood there like the house by the side of the road…”
We love the New York chef turned right fielder Rusty Staub.
The experienced river fishermen
To avoid snags and the false pull of current
Must trust the placement of his bait.
Sit and wait.
The Grand River makes no sound.
Has no reflection.
These kinds of friendships last in a man’s mind
For a lifetime.
Example for my contest :)
One bright night, early in the morn
I ate some peas, from a can of corn
Then I cooked some fish, in my flat gold trimmed bowl
When I paid too much, for the fish I stole
Then I played alone, one-on-one
In my soaking cloths, from the raining sun
Till someone lost, and beat the other
And took the crown, from the lone boys brother
A jar of jam
A bag of rice
A can of corn
A box of pasta
A loaf of bread
A carton of eggs
A bottle of juice
A package of bacon
"8 items of food", said I
"All good for my life".
Eat them now
Eat them later
Eat them after freezing
Eat them fresh from the Friz
"May I help you", said the seller.
"Two things", said the buyer.
"I want to know the ingredients".
"I want to know the shelf life".
"I need to know both the ingredients
and the shelf life, because I value my life".
083122PS
well it's 2026
and Boogie jam Bowgo
is in the mix
rap out towgo and bluey jam bustsas
flankin on Chicco's
and the Drab Muthacluccias
beggin on beanie
she aint smiling
her freind Chick-willa
my fast fone dialin
backbitting hussy
she down with what ever
switching in those denien cutties
she down foo whatever
my wifes working
and en-route to the es
got a can of corn
and flowere for the trickest
chilvery aint dead
at the hardware store
pick-up Doll-Swiggy
for his giggy dooly chore
he gone sit in Miss tussies
live-in room
I am in the bedroom
paw pumpin
Mr. Hardwork's wife
Ms. Callsoon
diggy diggy sum o letty
me loosen that bra
great big titties
bigest I ever saw
she like suckin
so I'm eagerness
in my green draws
and my silver satin vest
she on richard
and me
What a delight
then the door open
and he said
" not my wife"
I jump out the window
in my green draws
headed to the car
and guess what I saw
Bill moniter delly
and the Eagle Brit Scoop
gather up word
for her gossip cout
she saw my$@!P
while I am closing the door
something
that I saw she can't ignore
gonna hear that tommorrow
in those gossip circles
grabbed the pants in the back
lucky they were matching
purple
I AM THANKFUL . . .
for my family who continue to celebrate holidays together,
for friends who are always ready and willing to talk about anything and everything or just be present in the moment,
for neighbors who are eager to lend a hand or a can of corn when I find out I have run out while making a pot of soup,
for new and interesting people coming into my life for some as yet unknown purpose or blessing,
for all the family members and friends who have moved on to the next life, who have touched my life in so many wonderful ways,
and for the unbelievable love I have given and received throughout my lifetime.
I AM THANKFUL!
Gold is great if you already have food in your belly, a warm bed and clean water.
It is no good if the world explodes and people are fighting over last can of corn.
No amount of gold can buy an extra hour with a relative who dies unexpectedly.
It cannot make you feel better, up lift you, cheer you up or hug you.
Gold understands his role in the pecking order; minion to King Satisfaction.
Satisfaction brings freedom, joy, excitement in the way of talents, and skills.
It means enthusiasm faith, love, due to us living our bliss, or enjoying our jobs.
Satisfaction is knowing you are loved.
A feeling you get when each day is fun to play out.
When you create music, a poem, or a painting,
you do not worry about gold, do you?
One bag of gingersnaps
1 cups of butter
1/4 of ground pecans
Mix and cover bottom of
square casserole pan
One can of corn kernals (drained)
2 cups of cream cheese
2 tablespoons of coconut rum
1/4 cup of coconut milk
1 tablespoon of. vanilla extract
1/2 cup of sugar
2 teaspoons of molasses
5 eggs
1/4 cup of cornstarch
5 tablespoons of melted butter
Mix sugar, molasass, rum milk ,and butterin a bowl
In a mixer soften cream cheese, and addeggs and cornstarch mixing until smooth, combine with butter mixture. Add corn mix smooth
And top the gingersnap crust. Bake for 35 minutes
Or until filling is firm and top is browned.
In