Best Bums Poems

Porcelain doll, with a face so pretty 
a country gal, ran away to the city 
Worked in a bar, dancing on tables 
beat shovelling sh-it,...

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Leaves of the Dead

Les feuilles mortes 



They fall like dead soldiers
Dreams knifed in the dead of night
It is as yesterday
Once more
Where love was kissing my...

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The Party


Everyone is festive
All the ladies in pretty dresses

Champagne in flutes
Flirts in Armani suits

Waiters and penguins
Serving wine and cheeses

Musicians playing tango delights
Diplomats avoiding land mines...

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Walls Make Bad Neighbours

‘All in all we are just bricks in the wall’ deconstructed by Pink Floyd
        ...

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We've always been obsessed with hair
Ponytails or long and flowing
Medusa's hair would turn you to stone
If you gazed on it, no joking

In the 60s a...

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  Your Invitation 





You wanna from New York-

talk skin-teeth stories

b|tch brick-falling buildings

knive bus choking fumes-

Proud-over cracked sidewalks

holy street-people

and cracked-dreams?


You wanna scar of alley cans...

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When you take a pile of cow dung
And try to make it sweet
Then shove it down the people’s throat
Tell them they must eat
You’ve screwed up...

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A chambermaid whose name is Marlia
Had the most terrible diarrhoea
Whilst scrubbing a loo
She needed to pooh
Poop flowed freely from her posterior


It splattered on the newly...

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FrUm thE NUMB TuM Of A BuM  RuM sPiL
               ...

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Two young newlyweds Samantha and Ray
On honeymoon went camping to the Bay
But as they were rocking
Strong winds came a knocking
And left them nude as their...

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"Only a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun."
So says the gun lobby—the bad guy with a gun!
School, shop,...

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Trouble, trouble stirs the wind
ghastly ghosts rise and ascend
	warty toads croak
	vile spells are spoke
witches’ covens evil intend

Burbling, gurgling cauldron hot
with purple vein, red blood clot
	virgins...

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She drives that wobbly car
Stacked to the roof with goods
Squalor taunts her thus far
As she hides under hoods

Her babe cries behind bags
Baubles of plastic sneer
Purpose...

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I will never forget
The Sunday school my father taught,
Sitting cross-legged on veranda floor,
English, Maths,grammar and the lot,
hours of learning till bums went sore!

His skill in...

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A covert curtain raiser pulls a string and marvels at an epic scene

	Though parsimonious in essence the stage appears rather obscene

		Black cross and pitch dark...

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