Best Bulge Poems

Big Brenda knew things were not right
When she saw the rolls of cellulite
She could not disguise
The wrinkly thighs
And her hanging butt groaning with fright .


Skinny...

Read more of this work...

Our eyes met 
Across the room
The sight of her
My heart went boom
 
Her shiny hair
Skin so fair
Slimline body
Shaped to stare
 
I introduce
Myself to her
Her accent...

Read more of this work...

He arrived wearing pink skinny jeans
They were scruffy and ripped at the seams
He looked like a wiener
I will not be meaner
But he’s sure not the...

Read more of this work...

Life,
I put the suit on long ago
been wearing it ever since
it came with a coat and snappy vest
and two pair of shiny pants.

The pockets I...

Read more of this work...

There was no finer detective than Inspector Thaddeus Tweede of Scotland Yard!
He was most astute in solving crimes and could quickly detect a fake canard!
He...

Read more of this work...

In the harvested field near the canal,
she roams with a mind slid from its rail.
Her muddy skirt and brownish hairs 
flutter in the salty wind...

Read more of this work...

I stand naked by the mirror
Looking at myself
I look like ummm
Something off a dusty shelf

My ribs stick out
You could play them like a harp
And my...

Read more of this work...

The bees buzzed as they always did
and storms receded.
Silence hushed itself inside a shell.
Jackrabbits hopped away from hell
still intoxicated.

The village swarmed with threats.
Honest men could...

Read more of this work...

Are you happy with your work doctor?

Look at me when I talk to you.

I looked in the mirror you know.

Mirrors don't lie.

What you see is...

Read more of this work...

Long after your beginning in dancing ancient dream, 
The ferocious fire that fought only to keep you warm
Flickered my night aglow in sweet, loving longing
Haunting...

Read more of this work...

Tommy’s battle is in the bulge.
So much marmite in his pantry.
Celebrating, he does indulge.
Souper Choir laments in chantry.

What is this edible cement?
I’ve not the wherewithal...

Read more of this work...

Gather 'round me, my dears,
I'll continue the tale
Of a princess and her pirate lover.
Of her crown unencumbered,
They pillaged and plundered
As they wandered the seven seas...

Read more of this work...

The Endless Fight

My sis and I, we made a vow,
to lose all of our weight somehow.
Long months we tried; sometimes we’d cheat.
Jogging! Oh the agony...

Read more of this work...

Snip away the flesh.
Blood spits
on the unforgiving floor,
stained,
soaked in,
to the point where the tile bursts-
soul helpless, gas exposed 
and the poison kicks in-
pounding
pulsing,
running through the...

Read more of this work...

And Then From Darkness Came The Light

When you have ate the burning sand 
tasted the heart of grief and its pain
felt your soul, your heart...

Read more of this work...